Life is a Kusoge
by Kageka
Summary: Intelligence was a stat. Charisma was a stat. Luck was a stat. All these numbers congealed to form a path and the world marched down it steadily. Victory goes to the one who calculates the farthest down the winding little lane. This world may have a fancy interface, fantastical creatures and larger-than-life heroes but it was business and politics as usual.
1. Chapter 1

**A brief idea that popped into my head and germinated for three days. It seems I am incapable of a protagonist that is not manipulative, intelligent and female. I posted this in case someone likes it. I have many ideas as to the plot though I don't _guarantee_ it will continue. But if you'd like a journey on the accrual of power, this story may be for you. Also, I like respecting my readers' intelligence and inference abilities. As such, I shall minimise hand-holding and explicitly explaining every character's motives and plans, including the plans of the protagonist. If you don't think something is sufficiently implied/justified or are having a lazy day and would just rather have an explanation, I will strive reply to reviews (this offer does not apply if the story has been abandoned for a while).**

The child sat in a quiet corner, book in one hand and brush in the other. The book had been borrowed in with her caretaker's old genin forehead protector, for the child had been scoffed at for picking such a thick book. The brush was idly dipped in ink and continued writing.

One of the orphanage caretakers walked over to check her out. Glancing at the paper, she smiled.

"Wow! Your kanji are so pretty! Do you want to be a calligrapher when you grow up?"

The child put down her book and smiled sweetly at her caregiver. "Thank you! I don't really know."

"Well, I'm sure you'll grow up to be a beautiful young woman. It's fine if you don't know what you want to do. But you like writing, don't you?"

The child stopped to consider for a moment. "A little."

"Only a little? But you're always writing and reading."

"That's because writing is very important for a lot of skills. If you don't meet some minimum base level, you level up very slowly. And reading is even more important than that. Without high reading, you can't consume any good scrolls. You're almost level locked by reading in some disciplines."

It took the caretaker only a second to parse through the child's strange but familiar language. "I see." The caretaker smiled, patting the child on her head. "Riri is a very smart and hardworking girl."

Riri smiled back. "Thank you! I know the two of you work very hard. So I have to work hard at school too! If not, I can't face Takuma-kun!"

The caretaker shook her head, smile still apparent. "Takuma-kun is lazy. He may be a boy but he is… a bit of a lost cause." The caretaker leaned forward and kissed Riri in the forehead, smoothing her hair back. "You deserve his place at the school far more."

Riri tilted her head innocently. "You don't think sending a girl to school is a waste of money? I know you don't get much from the government."

The caretaker's smile tightened. "Well… even if you don't end up working, I'm sure your husband will appreciate such a hardworking and smart wife. Besides, I… I know you don't get along with many of the other kids but you are very happy at school. That's what's important in the end. You deserve a better life. All of you children deserve a better life. If something happens and you can't find a family, I'm sure you'll be able to find a good job."

"Thank you for believing in me! I won't disappoint you."

"You never have, my dear." The caretaker winked. "You didn't hear this from me but I love you the most."

Riri winked. "I love you too! It's almost lunch. Do you want me to help?"

"That's a good girl."

* * *

They'd been walking in circles for 15 minutes and Ikeda Atsuko was starting to get annoyed. The hotel should be around here. Why was Konoha laid out so weirdly? Not to mention the local folk were intimidated by her four servants and fine dress. All of them gave her a wide berth. Not a single one of them offered to help.

"Excuse me, are you lost?"

Atsuko looked down to see a cute little girl and her annoyance faded a little. "I'm looking for the Konoha Grand Hotel?" Honestly, who named these buildings? Ninja veered towards too practical and simple or overly grandiose with no in between.

The girl flashed a smile with the cutest dimples. "I know where that is! Do you want me to show you, pretty lady?"

Atsuko preened. "Of course. Thank you. What's your name?"

The girl started walking and her entourage followed her. "Lily!"

What a strange name. Who would name their child that? "Are your parents alright letting you run about?"

"I don't have parents. I've been in the orphanage for a long time."

Atsuko's heart immediately went out for her. Who wouldn't adopt such a cute girl? "I'm sorry."

"It's fine! I've never had parents so I don't miss them. Besides, everyone at the orphanage is kind to me. I don't always fit in but I care about them too," she said, ending it on a radiant smile.

Aww! "Why don't you fit in? You seem like such a good girl!"

"I don't like the things they like. I like reading."

"Reading? You go to school?"

"Yes!"

She didn't think the lower classes could afford to send their daughters to school. "You must be a very smart little girl. I'm sure you can find someone at your school who loves reading."

She pouted (her pouts were so cute too!). "I don't think people would like to read this." She then proceeded to pull out a book thicker than her wrist.

Atsuko raised her eyebrows and took the book. "The life of Iwagakure's Nidaime? You want to read something like this?"

"I've read it and I was going to return it to the library." The girl frowned. "It wasn't very good. The writer clearly didn't like the Nidaime and I'm sure a lot of it is inaccurate but I've read all of the good history books. I'd like to read one written by an Iwa-nin or just a Tsuchi citizen. But the library won't carry that."

Atsuko passed the book back. "… How old are you?"

And the smile was back. "Eight! Or ten! No one knows!"

Only ten? What a gem! What was this little girl doing, rotting away in a little orphanage? Atsuko ran her fingers through the girl's hair. The little girl didn't look too thin but she wasn't that healthy either.

When they reached the hotel, the girl's stomach growled and Atsuko immediately invited her for lunch. Oh, the girl ate like she hadn't eaten in weeks, the poor thing! The little sweetheart tried her best to be polite but it was obvious she was restraining herself.

"This is very delicious! I wish I could cook like that!" She exclaimed.

"You like cooking?"

Riri nodded enthusiastically, making sure to quickly chew and gulp down her food before replying. "The big sisters at the orphanage are always so busy so I do the cooking myself a lot!"

"That's very considerate of you!" Atsuko looked at Riri's empty plate. "Do you get enough to eat?"

Riri smiled slightly sheepishly. "Well, I know we're all supposed to get the same but Takuma-kun is _very_ hungry. Boys need more food so I give him some of mine."

Could this little angel get cuter?! "You really take care of the other children."

"Thank you! You're a very nice lady! Ah! I know!" Riri rummaged through her bag and pulled out a piece of paper. "The big sisters say we should always return gifts! Do you want my painting?"

So sweet and well-mannered. She wished Mika was more like her… "Of course!"

The angel handed her a piece of paper. Atsuko stared at it. "… Did you draw this?"

"Yes! I can do calligraphy too! The uncle paid me today so I got new supplies! I can write your name if you want!"

Atsuko could hardly believe this young girl was so talented but looking at her bright and innocent smile, she couldn't bring herself to doubt the girl. After all, why would she lie? "That's very nice of you. Could you do that for me?" Atsuko blinked. "Wait, did you say you got paid?"

"Yes! I help out at the stalls! The uncles will give me free meat and money sometimes." The girl quickly pushed her plate to the side and Atsuko called a waiter to remove some of the dishes. The little girl laid out paper and pulled out a brush. "What kanji does your name use?"

"It's Ikeda Atsuko. Pond and rice paddy for Ikeda and for 'Atsu' it's the 'ton' from sincerity and kindness."

The girl wrote deftly and neatly, her strokes thick and thin where they were supposed to be. Atsuko didn't really have an eye for art but it looked rather like the one she'd gotten from a professional calligrapher. "You're really good at this. It looks just like a master's work!"

The girl blushed and looked to the side shyly. "No, no. A master for most trades is at least an 80."

80? Did she mean out of a 100? "Then, how would you grade yourself?"

"Hmm… 57!" She exclaimed, giving a toothy grin and making the peace sign.

Atsuko laughed. "That's a very specific number. Did you take a test or something?"

"No one teaches calligraphy." The girl looked left and right before whispering. "I actually have a secret. Promise not to tell anyone?"

Atsuko gave an indulgent smile. "Okay."

The girl held out her pinky and they pinky swore before she leaned in and whispered into Atsuko's ear. "Actually, I can feel how skilled someone is." She leaned back and grinned at Atsuko.

Atsuko hadn't known what to expect and just smiled along. "Really? That's amazing. What do you think I'm good at?"

"Flower arranging!"

Atsuko raised her eyebrows. Flower arranging was a favourite pastime but… coincidence? Lucky guess? "Wow! How did you know?"

The girl tapped her brain. "Instinct. It's just a feeling I get when I look at people. You don't really like cooking."

How did she know? The food Atsuko cooked was tolerable but everything she produced was just either bland or over spiced. She only made good food when there was a maid to guide her through and clean up her messes. "You're amazing, little angel."

The girl giggled like a little cherub. "I want to unlock everything on the jutsu tree."

"Jutsu tree?"

"Yep!" Then she held out a tissue and it stuck to her arm. "See?"

Atsuko stared, horrified. "You… you are going to be a ninja?!"

"I want to learn!"

"But there are many other things, aren't there? You could… you could be a painter or a calligrapher! Being a ninja means…"

"What?"

"…" She couldn't very well explain what being a ninja meant to the child but she knew such a sweet little angel should never have to dirty her hands. It was just wrong. She couldn't imagine her being a cold killer with her spirit broken.

The girl sensed Atsuko's emotions and her smile faded. "Normal school… it's boring. Everything they teach, I can learn by myself. There are no more books for me in the library. No one will teach me. The only thing left for me is ninja school."

Atsuko shook her head fiercely. "No. Don't worry. I'll talk to my husband. We'll work something out."

The girl blinked. "… Really?"

"Of course!" She couldn't do really do anything if Osaaki refused but she was sure he wouldn't. They'd been talking about adopting. Sure, they'd talked about adopting a boy but she could persuade him to take Riri in. After all, she was pretty, polite and smart. She'd have no trouble finding a match.

* * *

The child, dressed in a kimono of the finest make, bowed her head. "Father, Mother."

Osaaki smiled down at the child. He'd been skeptical of adopting another daughter but she was nothing like Mika. She was obedient, filial and took to her lessons rapidly. She even gave up her old name on her own suggestion. She was no longer the no name riff-raff Riri. Only two months in and she was truly Ikeda Yoshiko, a proper and gentle young lady of the Ikeda clan. Tomorrow, she would silence all those who dared criticise he and his wife for being 'too soft' and adopting another girl. He would not stand his clan's dissent on this matter.

Upon laying eyes on Yoshiko, Atsuko cast all shadows away with her brilliant smile, a smile that had hidden and dimmed since Mika's adoption three years ago. But ever since Yoshiko entered their lives, Atsuko's beams of sunshine radiated throughout the household with vigorous intensity, as if to make up for all its time behind the clouds. It was Yoshiko's great gift upon their house, more so than any competency in the fine arts could muster.

Atsuko bent down to smoother Yoshiko with a hug. "You look so cute and pretty! Everyone is going to love you!"

Osaaki nodded approvingly. "I'm sure you will be received well. Have you memorized the family tree?"

"Yes, Father. I will not disappoint you."

Osaaki patted her head. "I'm sure you won't." Her tutor had reported that she'd been able to recall all the names and positions of every member of the clan last week, something Mika still wasn't perfect at yet.

Behind them, Mika scowled. "Of course, she won't. She's already so perfect. Why do we even need to rehearse everything?"

Osaaki's smile disappeared and he turned to Mika. "This will be Yoshiko's first impression on most of the clan and will be important in her acceptance. Nothing can be left to chance."

"We didn't even rehearse my performance when you adopted me."

"Don't be difficult," Osaaki snapped. "You were already from a proper family. You knew the graces and you were already accepted. Yoshiko's position is less stable and everything needs to be perfect."

"Then why didn't you just take in a proper girl?"

"Are you questioning my decision?"

Finally, Mika had the sense not to push further and looked away silently. Yoshiko lightly pushed Atsuko away and glided over to his side, taking his hand and looking up at him with a gentle smile.

"Tomorrow will be fine, Father. It's true that I'm not very experienced and that this exercise is of my sake. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble."

His shoulders relaxed somewhat and he took a deep breath. Why couldn't Mika be more like this? "It's fine. It's not your fault."

Yoshiko bowed her head. "Thank you for thinking of me. Shall we start now?"

Osaaki nodded. "Yes. Let's get this over with quickly."

* * *

 _The next day_

Yoshiko's song drew to a close and she bowed deeply as the audience applauded.

"Has she really only been with you for two months?" Shouta asked Osaaki.

Osaaki's proud grin was apparent. "Of course."

Shouta's wife nodded."It's impressive. For two months."

"The paintings are also done by her."

"Really? That's amazing!"

"Yoshiko is an exceptional young lady," Osaaki boasted. "I would look forward to dessert. She invented two of the recipes. She is also talented at dancing and can already play five songs on the shamisen. But she's a shy girl and isn't confident yet. Perhaps next time."

Osaaki had wanted Yoshiko to play the koto and shamisen like Atsuko but she had never touched an instrument before. Yoshiko told him that she knew a little singing and Osaaki had agreed that for now, it was more important to impress the clan. It seemed like their bet on singing had paid off. After seeing her performance, Osaaki felt like he'd be fine if she continued singing as long as she learned the koto as well.

Yoshiko walked off the stage, taking ten minutes to get to Osaaki's table as she was stopped multiple times for pleasantries. Osaaki sat waiting confidently as he watched her greet, bow and compliment beautifully. He'd hung around in the beginning in case she forgot a name but his worries had been unfounded.

Speaking of which…

"I can sing better," Mika muttered sullenly.

Osaaki scowled. He had just managed to forget about her. For once, he could sit proudly at his table and show a daughter off instead of spending half his time making excuses and apologising. "Did I invite you to speak?"

"… No."

"Then you shall stay silent."

That was the last he'd hear from her throughout the event as she spent her time sat at the main table scowling. Yoshiko floated over to the main table to give her greetings before gliding around the venue to entertain the guests. All night long, Osaaki got compliments about how beautiful, graceful and sweet she was and his chest was puffed out by the end of the night.

As the night drew to a close, Yoshiko gave a final dance and song before escorting the guests as they trickled out one by one. When the last had left, she returned to the table and bowed her head.

"Father, Mother, Sister."

Atsuko got up and hugged Yoshiko. "You did so well, darling! Everyone was talking about how pretty you were!"

"No one said your singing was that great though," Mika added in snidely.

The previous contentedness in his chest suddenly vanished as a long-stoked flame flared up. Osaaki slammed his hand on the table and everyone jumped. "How dare you?! Did I ask for your opinion?!"

Mika cast her eyes down. "…"

"Well?!"

"… No."

"Then you shall shut up! This is about your sister's great progress! Not everything is about you anymore! If you can't stop being selfish then leave!"

Mika bit her lip and tears welled in her eyes. A tense silence hung in the air.

Atsuko laughed awkwardly. "This… this is a joyous occasion, right? Let's not argue. Yoshiko did so well." She turned to Mika. "The event is over. Why don't you go to your room and retire for the night?"

Mika quickly took the opportunity to flee. Once she was out of sight, Yoshiko moved to his side and embraced him. "I'm sorry, Father. Have I made things worse?"

Osaaki grasped her small hand and patted it twice. "No, no, it's-" he sighed "-Mika is always like that. You've made your Mother and I very happy. Don't doubt that, okay?"

Yoshiko smiled. "Thank you."

"You did well. The guests loved your cheesecake and soufflé."

Yoshiko's eyes lit up. "Really? I actually have another recipe idea! I think I can get it down by next week for you!"

"You've been working very hard for the last two months. You can take a few days off."

Yoshiko shook her head. "It's fine! I want to get better!"

He laughed and embraced her briefly before standing up. "You're already very good. We could sell your cheesecakes and get a tidy profit."

Her eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Yes! After all, it's a very unique and delicious recipe. It'll be our shop speciality. High-paying clients will stop by our restaurant to taste something new and unique!" Then Osaaki blinked. Wait… that had a potential. That had a lot of potential. He already was in the business of food supplying. He could open up a restaurant or two, no problem. And wouldn't it be great? Wouldn't it be such a mark on the Ikeda name to boast that his daughter had invented all their recipes?

Yoshiko giggled. "Father is very smart! I actually have a few more recipes but I didn't think they were fancy enough for our clan. Maybe I can tweak them. If I can make three full-course meals, you can alternate them at our restaurant."

Osaaki burst into a smile. "If you could do that, that would be great! You're really a good girl. That's right, do you want anything?"

"Want anything? Hmm…" Yoshiko pondered for five seconds. "I know! Actually, I learned most of my cooking from the sister back in the orphanage. If it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't be able to even think about something like that. I have to pay them back to thank them for their teachings. If we ever have any restaurants, can we split the profits 50-50? That way, I can pay back the sisters!"

Osaaki laughed. "There's no need for that. We have more than enough money already to pay them back. I can send money to Konoha right now."

Yoshiko frowned a little. "That would be great but that would be your money, right? I… I haven't done anything to earn or deserve that much money. It should be a gift from me."

"You've done more than enough. You've been working very hard for the past two months, right?"

She shook her head. "I'm very grateful that the two of you decided to take me in. But I'm really unworthy. There are many other girls just as hardworking and talented out there who never got the chance. They could work twice as hard for two months and just scrape by. I was just lucky. That's why taking your money doesn't seem right." She looked into Osaaki's eyes, her own filled with determination. "That's why I have to pay everyone back. I have to pay the sisters who raised me, the broken school that still taught me and most of all, the two of you who will be taking care of me from now on. I can't do that if I piggyback of the hard work of the two of you. I have to pay back with my own work. With my own money."

Behind her, Atsuko sniffled and snatched Yoshiko up for a cuddle. "You're such a good girl! You've worked so hard! You must've seen so much on the streets yet you still think about us!" Atsuko looked up at Osaaki with a half-teary glare. "We can do that, right?"

"Huh? Umm… yes. Of course." He wasn't that keen on splitting profits but it wasn't so bad. He could put up a sign saying '50% of all proceeds will go to orphanages and schools'. It would look good for their family and everyone would know how pure-hearted and talented his daughter was.

* * *

 _Three days later_

The girl squealed with delight as she took a bite of beef. "This is a splendid teppanyaki, Akimichi-san!" She turned to talk to her bodyguard/servant standing in the corner. "Satou-san! Do you want to try some?"

The bodyguard shook his head and the girl pouted before taking another bite, a blissful smile over coming her face.

Akimichi Saburo smiled. "I'm glad you enjoy the food, ma'am. Are you here alone?" The girl had arrived at 3.30pm. No other customers arrived within 10 minutes so he was cooking (and performing) for her alone. Surprisingly, the little girl was more impressed by his cooking than his knife tricks. He'd spotted the clan crest and she was probably civilian nobility.

"I'm here with my bodyguard and handmaid. The journey was long so Sachiko is resting in the inn." She turned back to her bodyguard. "Aren't you hungry?"

"I'm fine, Ikeda-sama." Then, the bodyguard's stomach growled.

Ikeda giggled. "No need to be so cold. You can't guard me well on an empty stomach, right? Here," she opened her backpack and pulled out a bento box "I still one box of food I haven't eaten. I cooked it yesterday so it should probably be eaten soon. It won't do for it to go to waste, right?"

The bodyguard still looked conflicted. Saburo gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. I was a chuunin till I retired at 35. I get the feeling but eating is important. If the client says it's okay, it's okay. Different people have their opinions on what's professional."

The bodyguard finally took a seat beside Ikeda. "Then, excuse me."

The girl presented him opened the bento box to reveal beautifully cut vegetables, meat and rice.

"That looks nice," Saburo commented. "Did you make it yourself?"

"Yes."

Well, she probably did it with the help of her maid. "That's good."

"I still have leftover soufflés as well." She pulled out another box with three… were they cakes? Bread? They looked rather misshapen. "I invented… should I say that? Well, I'm the first person in this world to have made these. Do you want to try?"

The potential of a new recipe immediately struck a chord in his Akimichi heart. The Akimichi had a giant library and vast records of every ingredient and recipe they could get their hands on. He himself had memorised more than 4000 over his life and he'd never seen something similar enough to this… sufure to be called the same.

The decision to try it was instant and he spooned a little. Tasted it. Chewed. Another spoon. Chew. He stared at the dish.

"The Akimichi will gladly buy the recipe from you. I'll introduce you to our R&D and exploratory departments."

She blinked up at him. "Well, if you like it so much, I also have cheesecake with me."

"You have another recipe?"

"Hmm… 44? If you don't count flavour and texture variations and different food/condiment combinations."

 ** _"What?!"_** Alarm bells ringing 'STRUCK GOLD! STRUCK GOLD!' blared in his head. If every one was as different from contemporary cuisine as this sufure dish, then this was a gem! "How long are you staying?!"

The girl scooted back, her chair screeching, and her guard tensed. "Umm… two weeks?"

Realising he was leaning forward aggressively and waving his spoon about wildly, he straightened himself, put the spoon down and cleared his throat. "Sorry for my… lack of decorum. If you swing by the clan compound tomorrow, I can have something arranged for you."

"It's fine, Akimichi-san. It's good to be passionate about your crafting discipline. Actually, Father and I were talking about opening a restaurant with my recipes. I came here to taste the Akimichi's full-course meals and to learn from them."

"That's great! The Akimichi can help with that. We are a big name amongst foodies. In exchange for recipes, we can help you create a full-course meal. If it's good, we will have no trouble recommending it. Your restaurant's name will appear in all the food magazines and tourist guides!"

The little girl flashed a blindingly sweet and childishly excited smile. "Really? That's great!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Next month_

 _At the annual Akimichi Feast_

The child bowed. "I am Yoshiko of the Ikeda Clan. Thank you for inviting me to this feast."

Chouza made sure to give her a welcoming smile and loosened his stance. "There's no need for such polite language. I am Akimichi Chouza, Head of the Akimichi Clan. I wanted to meet the girl that has my R&D department in a frenzy."

"Should I apologise?"

"It's a good thing! Everyone is fired up! It's rare for ninja to be so eager to clock in overtime hours."

"I am grateful to Saburo-sensei for introducing me to them and training me. The lovely people over at the R&D have been rather… enthusiastic."

Chouza laughed. "You can say it. Ninja are pushy and less concerned with formalities."

"Yes. I used to be from Konoha."

"Really?"

"I was an orphan. I was almost a ninja myself."

"It's not too late."

The little girl shook her head. "I sought higher education. Father and Mother have been kind to provide that."

"Ah, yes. Saburo-san did mention how you gobbled up every book in his home. The Akimichi have a huge library. We are perfectly willing to trade recipes for recipes."

"Thank you for the offer. I look forward to working with the Akimichi Clan." She motioned to her handmaid. "Sachiko, could you bring out the biryani?"

Chouza's nose twitched. "A new recipe?"

"Something I'm working on. Would you like to try it?"

Chouza nodded and Sachiko opened the lunchbox. It was a yellow chicken and rice. He tasted it and nodded. "Not bad."

She frowned. "I thought so."

"No, no, it's good. It's just a taste I've never tasted before."

Her frown deepened and she shook her head. "No. This is a disgrace. The rice is too short and sticky and I can't get the proper spices at all." She sighed. "I shouldn't call it a biryani."

"It _is_ a weird name. But it's your creation. You can name it whatever you want."

Her eyes glazed over. "…You're right. My creation." She motioned for Sachiko to keep the food. "It won't be possible to get this one right but all I can do is improvise. I'll call it Japanese biryani."

He didn't see how adding another strange word made the name less weird but he decided to ignore it. "You're pretty hard on yourself, aren't you?"

The girl swept her eyes across the room. "Not as hard as some. There is always someone above you."

She really didn't talk like a civilian or even a ninja child. Tough upbringing? But she was well-spoken… "Your parents have raised you well."

She bowed her head. "I shall pass on your compliments."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chouji looking lost in the corner and he beckoned his son over. "That is Chouji, my son and heir."

Chouji made his way over and bowed, slightly intimidated by her cool demeanour. "I am Chouji. Of the Akimichi Clan. Nice to meet you."

To Chouza's surprise, Yoshiko's face broke into a pretty smile and she spoke in a soft and gentle voice. "I'm Ikeda Yoshiko. It's nice to meet you, Chouji-kun." Instead of bowing, she briefly embraced Chouji.

Slightly taken aback, Chouji returned the embrace and mumbled 'nice to meet you', completely forgetting he'd already said that.

They separated after a few seconds, that warm smile still on her face. "How are you, Chouji-kun?"

"I'm fine. And you?"

"I was chatting with your father. He is a passionate and talented man with a kind heart." She placed her hand on his chest. "I'm sure you've inherited his heart too."

Chouji looked away, face slightly red as he mumbled. "Well… but we're ninja so…"

She giggled. "Ninja are humans too! The ideal is to be perfect but that's it. An ideal. It's impossible. Once you accept that, you have to strategize and play to your strengths!"

"I am still in the Academy and umm… I am not that strong…"

She placed her hands lightly on his cheeks and guided his eyes to face her. "Chouji-kun, do you love food?"

"O-of course I love food!"

"Do you love the smell of baked bread? The layers in a perfect ramen broth?"

"Yes!"

"To be the Akimichi head, you have to handle many things. Fighting is important but there's also managing the restaurants, the business, the allies and many more. As a leader, your job is not to be good at everything. It is recognising the talents of others and using them correctly. As long as you have people managing what you're bad at, that's fine. That's what friends are for. You just have to be _very_ good at one or two things in life to succeed."

"Soooo… I get Shikamaru to do business, Ino to allies and I can do restaurants?"

"That's the basic idea."

Chouji looked at Chouza and Chouza shrugged. "She's not wrong. Shikamaru-kun and Ino-chan will be busy with their own clans but you do have to find other people to do some jobs. I can't do everything."

"Really? You can't?"

Ahh… perhaps he should've had his conversation with his son earlier. "Of course. Even ninja can't do everything. You need basic skills in everything but the advanced stuff can be left to the experts."

Chouji's eyes widened and that was when Chouza saw it. Just like that, Chouji had finally understood what Chouza had been trying to say ever since the bullying started. There was more to being a ninja, to being an Akimichi, than raw strength and fighting.

Chouza, a little ashamed he hadn't conveyed this earlier, patted Chouji on the head. "I am not the strongest fighter in the clan by any means. As long as you're good at other things, that's okay." Chouji nodded mutely. "Go on and eat."

Chouji walked away before turning around, hastily bowing to Yoshiko and scurrying away.

The two of them stood in silence before Chouza spoke up. "Thank you. You have no idea how much of a difference you just made."

Yoshiko looked into his eyes, that gentle smile a little more muted, but also a little more natural on her face. "I know, Akimichi-sama. I know."

There was a brief moment of quiet connection as they locked eyes. The world faded to a blur of white noise. He studied her. Little though she was, she carried a dignity and elegance about her that made her stand out like a lighthouse in the midst of the jovial and loud Akimichi gathering. She spoke with intention, looked with discernment and thought with calculation. This…

"The Nara gathering is a week after ours. Would you like to be there?"

"Someone you would like me to meet?"

He grinned. "Someone who would love to meet you."

"Oh? Should I be afraid?"

"What does someone like you fear?"

Her smile grew genuinely larger. "I carry healthy caution."

* * *

 _Next week_

 _The annual Nara gathering_

The Nara gathering was a decidedly less rowdy event. Instead of long rows of tables decked with food, there were servants going round with trays to smaller tables. There was a small shogi section and soft shamisen music wafting through the area with a murmur of voices.

"I am Yoshiko of the Ikeda Clan. Nice to meet you, Nara-sama." Yoshiko presented herself to Shikaku with a bow.

Shikaku returned her bow with a dip of his head. "I am Nara Shikaku, Head of the Nara Clan. Chouza has told me some impressive things about you."

She gave a polite smile. "There are some abnormalities in my life but nothing of impressive note."

"You're ten and opening a restaurant."

"With the incredible help of my honoured Father and the noble Akimichi Clan. I am not here of my abilities alone."

"You are here of your own initiative, though."

"There are many people who have helped me along in my life. What I have been given, I must repay with gratitude."

Shikaku stroked his chin as he considered Yoshiko. "Are you up for a game of shogi?"

"I am but an amateur. I would be honoured to play against you."

"If you're uncomfortable, you could always play against my son."

"I would love to meet your son."

Shikaku pulled out a kunai and threw it at Shikamaru. The blunt end smacked Shikamaru's head and he turned around. He grumpily rubbed his head, picked up the kunai and strolled over to them.

Shikamaru passed the kunai to his father. "Was that necessary?"

"It was efficient." Shikaku smacked the back of his head. "Go on. Where are your manners?"

Shikamaru rubbed his head again and bowed shoddily. "I'm Nara Shikamaru. Nice to meet you," he droned.

Yoshiko was unfazed and her polite smile didn't waver as she bowed as well. "I am Ikeda Yoshiko. It is a pleasure to meet you. I've heard that shogi is a favourite past time of yours."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I suppose."

"I'm afraid your father has offered you up as a sacrifice."

Shikamaru stared up at his father. "What did I do?"

Shikaku smiled sharkishly at his son. "Not everything is about you. No slacking."

Shikamaru sighed. "Do I have to?"

Yoshiko's polite smile grew a little and she tilted her head to the left slightly. "I'm afraid that's not how involuntary volunteering works."

Shikamaru grumbled a little more as Shikaku forcibly ushered him over to a private shogi room. Shikaku threw his son another warning before leaving.

The two children sat on their knees and bowed to each other before starting.

"How much do you know of shogi?"

"Not much, I'm afraid. I've studied some in preparation for this event but I'm very much an amateur. I am honoured to play against you and hope to learn from you."

Shikamaru sighed. "We're both children. That's no need to be so formal. The Nara believe in efficiency over pleasantries."

"I've noticed. I understand your culture but old habits die hard. Don't mind me. I will not find your frankness and informality to be a source of concern."

Shikamaru paused for two seconds before answering. "Well, it doesn't really matter as long as I can't screw up. I find all that annoying so I automatically get annoyed at polite speech."

"A conditioned response. Perfectly explainable. I will say that the liberty to speak frankly is appreciated even if I choose not to exercise it."

"You talk like one of those old man politicians."

"Well, thank you."

"It wasn't really a compliment."

"A matter of perspective. For example… hmm… well, let's just say I've never seen such a huge disparity between intelligence and willpower in my life."

Shikamaru stared at Yoshiko. Yoshiko smiled back innocently. Shikamaru groaned. "You're going to be such a huge pain in the ass."

"Well, thank you."

"… I'm not the smartest in the clan, you know."

"Really? Then who is?"

"My father."

"I'm pretty sure I saw one or two with comparable intelligence back there. I'll check your claim later."

"… How would you measure intelligence?"

Her smile grew artificially bright. "Instinct! Ah, but you will be smarter than your father."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because your talent is substantially higher. If you live to… let's see…" She cocked her head to the side thinking before sighing "what I would do for a spreadsheet and graphing software. I really need a higher maths level. Anyway, this is only a very rough estimate but if you live to your early 20s, you should surpass your father."

"… Okay… so how do you know that?"

She smiled brightly. "Instinct!"

"… You did all that calculations based on some instincts?"

"Yes! Don't you do that too?"

"… No. No one does that."

She completely ignored him. "There are many talents out there. My talent is to see the talents of others."

"A kekkei genkai?"

"No. I'm pretty sure it couldn't be passed to my children."

"And how do you know that?"

"Instinct!"

"… You know… they say instincts are important but they are not everything."

"My instincts have never been wrong in my life," Yoshiko uttered with complete conviction.

Shikamaru frowned. "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"How do they work?"

"It's instinct."

"So you won't explain it."

"Instinct is instinct. Everyone can understand that."

"Not everyone's instincts are perfect."

"But this is an odd world we live in, don't we? Senju Tsunade will always lose a bet except when it matters. Maito Gai's smile will always be eye-burningly bright. Those are nonsense yet constant rules. Ikeda Yoshiko's instincts are always correct. Is that really that weird?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I suppose."

* * *

 _Later_

 _Family dinner_

"That girl is weird."

Shikaku chewed his rice. "Is that so?"

"Yes. She says her instincts are never wrong."

"I was listening in."

"…"

"I think she's right. Eventually, I hope you will surpass me."

"Do you believe her?"

"About the instincts? I have no particular reason not to. She's a rational agent. She won't reveal something so useful for no reason. My guess is that she wants us to trust her word with no more proof than her feelings. It'll be useful for covering up information she can't explain later on. If that's her goal, she will prove herself to us of her own volition. I doubt she'd make such a large claim without having a way to prove herself."

"Can such a thing really exist?"

Shikaku shrugged. "Who knows. Strange abilities pop up in strange people all the time. Her parentage is also unknown. There's still a lot we don't know about genetic mutation, chakra inheritance and kekkei genkai."

"A kekkei genkai?" Shikamaru looked off to the side. "… Is… that so…"

Shikaku eyed his son. "One of the daimyo's favourite concubines is an Ikeda and she has given him two children. He won't be happy if we do anything to the daughter of the Clan Head. Unless it's a matter of national security, there's no way Hokage-sama will sign off on it."

"… It's creepy."

"At this point, we haven't even proven if she has any abilities. She may just be perceptive. If it makes you feel better, she isn't exactly hiding it. Someone else would've discovered it. Better us than someone with… less than pure intentions."

"… I guess."

"… Well…" Shikaku scratched his head. "It's all very uncertain. It may just be a character quirk unique to her. I'll only pass the information on if I can confirm it. It's not like she's an enemy or a threat and she doesn't seem willing to share details. Even if she proves herself, investigating it would be low priority. Konoha has limited resources and many much greater threats and potential research."

"… I see."

"…"

"Do you think she's telling the truth? That she's only played shogi for a week?"

"Chouza invited her a week prior."

"I couldn't get an image of her."

Shikaku shrugged. "Neither could I."

Shikamaru looked up. "You couldn't?"

"The girl is an iron fortress of politeness and platitudes. She smiles as she is bade to, bows as she is demanded to and compliments as she is required to. She's a little doll. It's very hard to see who she is underneath."

"That's like a ninja infiltrator. Could she be a spy?"

Shikaku laughed. "Oh, you'd be surprised, my son. The civilian nobility may not have sharpened teeth or razor-sharp shuriken but they can be far more vicious than ninja society. Not to mention she was apparently an orphan and it's always a scramble amongst orphans for resources. It doesn't happen so often so young but it's not surprising that the system could produce something like her.

"… She's… not bad. For a one week player." Shikamaru muttered, eyes cast to the side.

Shikaku looked at his son with new, curious eyes. "Well, well, isn't that rare?"

Shikamaru grumbled and slouched further. "It's just shogi. It's not work."

"Our clan hosts many opponents."

"I know. I'm… I'm just a little… frustrated. She's weaker than me but I feel like I can't see anything."

"Is that so? Then, I'll leave it to you." Shikaku picked up his cup and hid his smile behind a sip of tea. "This should be a good learning experience. Use it well."

* * *

 _Three days later_

There was a loud "THUD!" as the sliding door was violently thrown open. "Shikamaru! It's 2 pm! Get your ass out of bed now!" His mother roared.

Shikamaru responded by snuggling further under his sheets. His mother let out a grunt of irritation and easily wrestled the sheets away from the academy student. She grabbed him by the leg, dragged him out of his room, opened the front door and threw him out. His back slammed and skipped across the mud.

"Go do something outside and do not come back until dinner!" She ordered before slamming the door shut.

Shikamaru collapsed onto the mud, eagle spread. It stunk a little, but the mud was rather nice and cool. Hell, it was nicer than his room's half broken air-con. Shikamaru was even half-certain his mum had broken it to get him out. Sleeping outside was technically doing something outside, right?

Apparently, his mum didn't think so. 45 minutes later, a very unamused Nara Yoshino pelted her son with rocks until he fled. He sneaked to the river and jumped in to get rid of some of the mud. Now he was a mud stain rather than a mud drip. Still, if he walked around town all muddy, his mum was going to be pissed as all hell. (Even though it was her fault for throwing him in mud.) He needed a place to shower and the mud was a nice solution to Konoha's insane heat and humidity.

He sighed. Well, he _had_ been planning on playing shogi with Yoshiko. It's just that her house was five kilometres away. If he explained his circumstances, maybe she'd understand and let them play shogi outdoors.

So he made the trek over to her house, constantly wiping his face with his muddy but wet shirt to cool down. A maid opened the door and stared down at him.

"Are you lost?" The maid asked.

"I'm Nara Shikamaru. I came for shogi."

The maid looked at him doubtfully. "Ikeda-sama is busy now."

"It's just shogi. I can wait." Indoors. With air-con.

The maid hesitated for a few more seconds before letting him in. "Would Nara-sama like a shower?"

"That would be great. When's she coming back?"

"I'm uncertain."

"I see." Well, it was fine with him if he stayed here for the rest of the day.

He showered quickly and spent the next two hours lounging about in a fluffy bathrobe with a free flow of tea and snacks. Best. Two. Hours. Ever. The food was delicious, the air-con actually worked and the couch was _fabulously_ soft. Far better than his thin futon.

Yoshiko came back two hours later. "Ah, Nara-san! Sorry to keep you waiting."

Well, all goods things had to come to an end. "Not really. I dropped by unannounced."

Yoshiko scanned the room, her eyes resting on her maid who looked none too pleased with his existence. "Have you been enjoying your stay?"

"Fine."

Yoshiko giggled and girlishly hid it behind her hand. "Is that so? I'm glad. Sachiko said you were here for shogi."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Mum kicked me out. Said I had to do something outside."

"What wonderfully vague instructions. Let us play at the terrace door. I'll sit on the indoors side of the entrance and you'll sit out. The outside is nice and shaded and we'll turn up the air conditioning so you can have a lovely breeze."

Shikamaru looked at her appreciatively. "You read my mind."

"Just give me some time to change."

The maid guided him to the terrace and set up the shogi board. Shikamaru stayed indoors. He would not step a foot out any earlier than he had to. A few minutes later and Yoshiko emerged.

Shikamaru gaped.

Yoshiko smiled. But it wasn't her usual polite smile. It was tinged with a little more… life? No… character. Character was the word. "Is it that surprising?"

Indeed, it was. No longer was she confined in her fine kimono and rigid posture. She was now free of any binding hair accessories, jewellery and makeup. She simply stood there. Casually. In a blue t-shirt and brown cargo shorts.

She strolled over, her gait no less graceful but it had a loose and flowing quality to it. She sat and invited him to take his seat across her. "I believe being casual is a thing of the Nara."

He slowly took his place opposite her. "Yes."

She continued to look at him questioningly.

He sighed. "You know I don't mind."

She laughed. "I know. I just need to initial confirmation. Shall we start?"

* * *

 _The next day_

"Chouji… you are… reading?"

Chouji looked up to see Shikamaru's curious shadow falling over him. He let out a squeak and slammed the book shut, hugging it to his chest. "Shi-Shikamaru! You scared me!"

Shikamaru sat next to him. "There's no need to be so on edge." He glanced at Chouji's book. "Chemistry?"

"Yes… dad said it would help me understand cooking a bit better. It's a little complicated."

"I would bet."

A peaceful silence resumed as Chouji sat relaxed and Shikamaru quietly observed him.

"Something's different," Shikamaru declared.

"What?"

"I don't know. This picture of you sitting there is just different somehow. You're… less tense?"

Chouji blushed and look away. "Actually… I met this girl last week. It was only for five minutes and I can't really remember her name but she said some amazing stuff about being clan head and it just clicked in my head."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Is it a girl from our school? Be careful if it is. Half are vicious, power-hungry harpies and the other half are lazy, dreamy and pathetic."

Chouji frowned. "You shouldn't say that about girls, Shikamaru. Some of them are really nice."

"Like?"

"Umm… Hyuuga-san? She's strong _and_ nice."

Shikamaru grunted. "Hinata-chan's a weird one. But she's a clan heiress and still young. Plenty of time for her to show her evil side."

"I can't imagine Hyuuga-san doing anything mean."

"You'll see. My dad used to talk about how sweet my mum was."

"Not everyone is like your mum."

"Kiba's mum?"

"My mum is nice!"

"As long as you stay in line."

"That's what mums are like. They're nice if you're nice and mean if you're not. Dad always says that mums being mean means they love you."

"So they love you if they're nice and they love you if they're mean? That makes sense," Shikamaru said scathingly.

Chouji scrunched his face up, pouted and turned away. "My mum is nice," Chouji mumbled obstinately.

Shikamaru read his face for a brief few seconds before sighing. "Well, some confidence is good. And? What is this girl?"

Chouji immediately forgave and forgot everything. "She's really pretty and nice! Almost like a doll!"

"A doll-" Shikamaru's stomach lurched forward so hard that he coughed. "Did you- where did you meet this girl?"

"The annual feast. Why?"

Shikamaru took in a deep breath and exhaled. "… Nothing. It's just-… no, nothing."

* * *

 _Later_

"Ikeda-sama?" Sachiko knocked on the door. "There's a letter from the Nara."

Yoshiko opened the door, took the letter and opened it.

 _Chouji is a pure-hearted boy. Anything that touches him will be eliminated._

Yoshiko let out a snort of laughter. Sachiko sucked in a surprised breath. "Ikeda-sama?"

Yoshiko shook her head, smile still firmly across her face. "No, no. It's just a very cute letter." She folded the letter back up. "Tell the messenger that I'm free tomorrow from 1pm to 2pm… and from 6pm onwards."


	3. Chapter 3

_Two weeks later_

Yoshiko took a spoonful of the curry. She scrunched up her nose and set the spoon down forcefully.

Sachiko eyed her master. "You're doing very well, Ikeda-sama. I'm sure you'll get it soon."

" **No.** " The word came out swiftly and fiercely. "No. It's not right. It's not right. The spices…" She shook her head. "The spices are pathetic around here."

Yoshiko dropped down to the chair, watching as Sachiko hurried to clean the dishes. She stared up, dazed at the ceiling lights.

"Pack the curry, Sachiko. I'll work on the pretzels."

* * *

 _Two days later_

Shikamaru had been visiting Yoshiko every day. Mostly for the free air-con and couch but also to get his mum off his back. Dad had sided with him and for now, mum was satisfied that he was walking at least 10 kilometres a day.

Unfortunately, his brain automatically went into overdrive around her. It was really quite troublesome.

"It's your turn, Nara-san."

Shikamaru made a vague noise of acknowledgement. While he had noticed a slight change in her word choice and general demeanour, Yoshiko was still quite proper in her casual clothing. He could not picture her at all.

"Ikeda-san."

"What is it?"

"What do you think of me? No diplomacy. What do you think?"

There was a 10-second pause that felt far longer than it was. "… Have you ever watched someone who was bad at Sudoku?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You know the temptation to go 'that's a 9' or 'you're clearly focusing on the wrong bit'?"

"… Well… yes."

"That feeling. That sums up my true feelings towards you once you set the fluff aside."

"Everyone thinks I could be doing a lot better. But that's a part of being Nara."

"I know. Your clan has amazingly low willpower levels. I get that feeling a lot around such individuals."

"… I don't understand. How anyone can be so driven?"

"I could list a thousand reasons and do a deep analysis but it all leads back to the same thing." She leaned forward. "I love it. I do it because I love it. I cook, I manage, I calculate because I love it. But do you know what I love the most? Creating the perfect build. The perfect, mathematical solution." She leaned back again. "When I see someone with amazing numbers, my mind races. My heart races. I start to think about all the possible and optimal builds. It's thrilling. It's frustrating."

Shikamaru made a thoughtful noise at the back of his throat. He scratched his head for a few moments before sighing. "Well. I'm sure someone out there would appreciate that."

When he looked back up, he saw Yoshiko sitting there. Thoughtful. Contemplative. "You know what?" She said. "You're right. As long as they appreciate it, there's nothing wrong with that, right?"

"Er... umm… un… I guess."

Shikamaru didn't know what it was, but he got a _very_ bad feeling from this.

* * *

 _One month later_

 _The Ikeda Residence in Konoha_

Sachiko opened the door and blinked in surprise before bowing. "Welcome, Osaaki-sama, Atsuko-sama."

The two Ikeda and their servants entered the residence and Sachiko shut the door behind them. "Yoshiko-sama is in the middle of her singing lessons in the main residence. Should I call her?"

Osaaki smiled. "She's hard at work again. When will it end?"

"About 10 to 15 minutes, sir."

Osaaki walked to the sofa chair and sat with Atsuko. "We can wait. How has she been?"

"Yoshiko-sama has been very diligent. She can always be seen experimenting in the kitchen, practising her singing, dancing and instruments as well as reading and writing."

Atsuko frowned a little. "Is she taking care of herself?"

"I think she never rests completely. She visits the Nara for shogi and seems to like cooking. But I think cooking can be stressful for her as well because it's kind of work too. I'm not sure if she's having fun. She cooks so much Satou-san and I have to make one or two trips a day to the orphanages to donate food."

At this, Osaaki frowned as well. "Do you think she cooks so much so she can donate the food? Yoshiko is too kind like that."

"I'm not sure, sir. But I don't think that's the case. If I may give my humble opinion, Yoshiko-sama is a very efficient person who has an obsession- I mean an extreme love of numbers. She hates waste and always goes on about 'min-maxing'. She knows she can make more of a difference by donating money rather than cooking more food. I think she just doesn't want to waste food."

"What are you talking about?" Osaaki asked. "Not wasting things, I can understand. But numbers? And what is 'min-maxing'?"

Sachiko looked surprised. "Yoshiko-sama said it was something like making the best solution with limited things. She's always on her abacus and doing maths."

"Yoshiko likes maths?" Osaaki questioned.

"Yes, sir. She is happiest when she solves a problem. She smiles and looks like a child again. She is never not thinking of maths. She loves to put numbers on everything and mumbles calculations."

"Oh! I've noticed that!" Atsuko exclaimed. "She always says 'that's a level 10' or something. I think she also told me her best subject used to be maths."

"Really?" Osaaki asked in surprise.

"Yes!" Atsuko exclaimed happily. "We have such a smart daughter! She can even do math!"

Osaaki sighed. "If only she were a boy…"

Atsuko shook her head. "That's no point thinking like that. We have been blessed with such a good daughter. Let's be happy with that!"

Osaaki nodded slowly. "You're right. It's not like we can do anything about it. We made the right choice to adopt her." He looked around. "This house is pretty small. Why doesn't she stay in the main residence?"

"I'm not sure, sir. Oh! Maybe because she uses the main residence for work. She only sleeps, reads and does math here."

"I see. Maybe that's it. Could you go get us some tea? I want Houjicha." Atsuko asked.

Sachiko went to go get tea and the two of them sat snacking on tea and a strange crispy, thin biscuit in the shape of a roll. 10 minutes later, the front door rang and Sachiko opened the door for Yoshiko.

"Father, Mother, welcome."

Atsuko quickly wiped her fingers and mouth before walking over to embrace Yoshiko. "Welcome back, Yoshiko. Have you been well?"

"Yes. Thank you. How about the two of you?"

"Your mother and I are very pleased with your work," Osaaki praised. "The restaurant is doing well and you have fostered business and personal connections with the Akimichi and Nara clans. The clan is impressed as well, though they won't admit it. Your tutors have also sent glowing reports about your talent and progress to us."

Yoshiko shook her head. "I still have a lot to learn. I'm far from the 80 mark."

"The 80 mark?" Osaaki asked.

"The 80 mark is where most masters of their crafts operate at."

"Why 80?"

"Hmm…" Yoshiko considered her words. "I have the talent to see the talents and skills of others. When I look at someone, sometimes I'll think: that person is a 64 and their highest level is in metalworking. That kind of thing."

Osaaki stared at Yoshiko. "Haaaah…"

Yoshiko smiled. "Yes! Out of the arts, your highest levels are in literature. You have some talent in singing and you've tried the koto for a while but didn't really succeed."

Osaaki stared at her harder.

Yoshiko continued. "I have been blessed with very strong instincts and they are never wrong. Shikaku-sama and Shikamaru-san think it's a character quirk of mine. Apparently, things like that aren't that abnormal."

"Is… that so?"

"Yes!"

Atsuko smiled enthusiastically and planted a fat kiss on Yoshiko's forehead. "That's amazing! Isn't our daughter talented?"

"Yes… yes, of course she is… Yoshiko, how detailed are your abilities?"

"It just pops in my head but when it does, it can be pretty detailed."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

Yoshiko blinked. "It never came up and it's kind of weird to just suddenly say that. It's not that important. Besides, I told Mother already."

Atsuko pulled back. "You did?"

"Yes. When we first met, remember? You asked me how I knew I was a 57 and I told you."

Atsuko's face scrunched up in thought. "Ah… I kind of remember that."

Yoshiko separated herself from Atsuko. "Never mind that, did you enjoy the love letters?"

Osaaki startled. "What?"

"The biscuit."

Osaaki slowly relaxed back into his chair. "Oh. It's very tasty. You made this?"

"Yes."

"But why love letter, sweetie?" Atsuko asked.

"Instinct. I have five more dishes for you to try. I could cook one or two for you now. I have dance lessons in 2 hours but I can cancel it."

"It's fine," Osaaki said. "It's not urgent. Are you sure you're not working too hard? You seem a little pale."

Atsuko nodded enthusiastically. "That's right! You should rest now!" She dragged Yoshiko down to the chair. "We brought gifts for you!"

Yoshiko's smile turned slightly childlike. "Really? Thank you! You really didn't have to."

"You're my daughter!" Atsuko dismissed. "Daughters are to dote on."

They spent the next 40 minutes just opening some of the boxes. Clothing, hair pieces, handbags, cushions, a new koto, three cartons of music sheets and many more.

"Thank you, Father, Mother. It must have been expensive"

Atsuko shook her head. "It's fine! This is nothing! We will get you everything you want!"

Osaaki nodded. "That's right. We could buy you a hundred more houses if you want and it wouldn't put a dent. Is there anything else you want?"

"Actually… there's something a little inconvenient."

"What is it?" Osaaki demanded. "We will get rid of it."

"Sometimes I see someone with a lot of potential. Say, a chef. I want to hire them for our restaurant. It happens a lot more often than one may imagine. But I am still a child under the eyes of the law. I can't withdraw a lot of money from the bank. I can't hire anyone. Not even a new maid. If I see a nice house or I want a new dance studio, I can't buy any land. I was actually thinking of building a new orphanage and I wanted to surprise the two of you but they won't even let me look at the prices. Every time I feel like I want to do anything big, I can't. I have to rely on you. I have to send a letter back and wait and hope for two weeks. It's a… it's a really helpless feeling." Yoshiko got out of her chair and kneeled before her father, taking his right hand with both of hers and looking up at him pleadingly. "I don't want to trouble you. But I have so much now. I really think I should be giving back. I want to do all those big things by myself. Please?"

Atsuko shot out of her chair to embrace Yoshiko on the floor. "There's no need for that!" She cried, the slight strain in her voice showing how touched she'd been. "We told you we'd get you everything you wanted. It's just signing a few papers. Right?"

Osaaki seemed a little lost. "But isn't getting emancipation a little… drastic? You could just tell us."

"It takes two weeks for a reply!" Atsuko argued. "She's had to ask us to hire dance teachers and get approval for house renovation. The bank mailed us a bunch of times to approve her purchases. She shouldn't be troubled by such little things. She's been such a disciplined and good child. It'll fine!"

"But still…"

"I've done all the research, father! I know all the papers we need and I know how to fill them. I'll do all the work. You just need to sign the paper and get a judge to be a witness. We can get it done before you leave Konoha!"

"That's right, that's right!" Atsuko agreed. "See! She's done so much hard work already! You know how important doing charity work is for her! It's just a small thing, nothing compared to a hundred houses!"

Osaaki sighed. "Well, I guess I did promise to give you anything."

A brilliant and excited smile stretched across Yoshiko's face as she jumped up to hug her father and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

* * *

 _3 weeks later_

 _Yomogita Village, half a day's walk from Konoha_

The villagers whispered and stared at the rich young lady and her two servants followed behind her. Yomogita village was a small village of 300 people and they rarely had visitors, much less nobles. The young lady was dressed in a fine kimono, tall heels and thick makeup as she strode in with a smile and wandered about the village, stopping to look at buildings and picking up and feeling random bits of dirt.

"Umm… Hello? Are you lost?"

The lady turned to face him. "Greetings," she said to a young teen. He stood a little straighter. "Would you be so kind as to direct me to the village leader or any such authority?"

"Yeah, sure. Watanabe-sama should be at home."

"And where would his home be?"

"It's in the center over there. You go straight then you… umm… I don't know how to describe it well but I could show you?"

The lady dipped her head. "I would be grateful for your guidance."

"Right. Then… let's go." They began walking to their destination. "Soooo… what are you doing here?"

"I'm interested in building an orphanage."

"Here? Why?"

"Konoha land is incredibly expensive but there are orphans everywhere in Konoha. I've noticed that there isn't a school here so I'd like to build one as well as a few playgrounds for the children."

"You're from Konoha? How is it?"

"It's a very busy and rowdy place. It's a military base, tourist trap and center of commerce all rolled into one."

"That sounds exciting. Why here then? There aren't many people here. There are other towns."

"I've walked through them. The people aren't as nice and the community isn't as tight and welcoming. Yomogita seems like a lovely village with a nice environment, people and atmosphere for children to grow up."

He smiled. "Thank you. This village is small but all of us are good people. But aren't you a little young to be doing this sort of thing?"

"How old do you think I am?"

He squinted. She was a little on the short side but she had a very mature way of talking and _a lot_ of makeup on. "15?"

She laughed. "Well, thank you."

* * *

Around _2 weeks later_

"You're in a good mood," Shikamaru commented as Yoshiko lost gracefully for the fifth time in a row and set the board up for round six. He'd gotten a little better at reading her moods but one didn't have to be a genius to sense the smug satisfaction floating around her.

"My orphanage is complete."

"What?! Since when were you building an orphanage?"

"Since two weeks ago. But I've been thinking about it for a while."

"You're ten."

"And?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Overachiever."

"I am not an overachiever. Most everyone else is an underachiever. Too scared or too lazy to do anything with the talents and resources they've been blessed with. It isn't very difficult to make a big difference in the lives of those less fortunate. Just a hot meal can mean a lot to someone."

"You're doing a lot more than average."

"Only because the average is garbage. What everyone else is doing is irrelevant in my decision to help."

Garbage? Unusually strong language implying strong emotions. An attachment to her philanthropy. Which made perfect sense, of course, but… even though Yoshiko had given him no reason to assume she was anything more than a productive and charitable member of society, he still couldn't shake his feelings of unrest around her. Sure, she was skilled at business but that wasn't morally bad in any way. After all, she needed to make money if she was to continue donating food, clothes and other supplies to orphanages.

If he wanted to make a difference, he would've done the same thing. Start a business to make lots of money and donate some. Keep enough to grow the business to make even more money so he could donate even more. But in order to ensure his donations would be used well, he would want oversight which meant creating his own organisation and in her case, her own orphanage to ensure its success. If he leveraged his fame as a philanthropist, which Yoshiko hadn't done yet, more people would support him which meant more money to donate.

It all made sense. There was a clear, systematic approach to her charitability and systematic approaches always produced better results than blind faith and empathy. He could understand the rationale completely but why-?

"Nara-san. What is it?"

"I… have a bad feeling."

She looked him in the eye and he knew she understood him. "I've met a lot of people in my life from all around the globe. When I speak to them of the plight of starving children and shivering puppies in the cold, their hearts melt easily. But speak to them of the organisations helping them and the results you get are very different. People are like that. When they save a drowning child, they have an instant and rewarding human connection. On the other hand, huge financial operations like charity organisations seem cold and mathematical. Prone to dirty corruption and deception. Completely disconnected from the instinctual empathy that drove them to donate. If the death of a child would save the lives of a hundred others, I would shoot that child myself. The best end result is clear. It's so simple. The fact that one is greater than a hundred can't even be called a math problem but so many would hesitate and miss their chance to save 99 lives."

"That's…" What she said made perfect sense. And indeed, as a future ninja, he would have to kill to save others. He would have to make that call. But there still existed within him that instinctual urge to cry 'no'. To cry that everyone could be saved and that there were other ways. He was aware that that feeling was naïve and childish but he couldn't help what he felt. "That's really cold."

"The astute tend to sense that around me. The results of my actions may mean hundreds of children are clothed, fed and sent to school but in order to create the most effective plan possible and to maximise the number of children that may benefit, I cannot afford to think with empathy and compassion before reason. Most people understand that conceptually but it still feels wrong."

"You spend a lot of time thinking about this."

"I'm sure your mind would've sorted this all out eventually. I've just gotten a little more time to ponder than you have."

"You're only a few years older than me."

"Only 'a few years' older and born into nothing. Yet look at me. What have you done?"

Unnaturally aggressive. Shikamaru put a pin in it and pushed aside his sense of discomfort. "And you think that my… feelings to you are caused by that?"

"You've been studying me. That much is obvious. There are other escapes from your mother but you still walk 5 kilometres to play shogi with me. Flattered, by the way. It's been almost three months since you've been regularly popping over but your affection for me is still very low. You don't trust me. There's no logical reason for that so it must be instinctual."

"No logical reason?"

"Unless you're one of those paranoid nutters who sees spies everywhere and thinks every oddity is a potential threat to national security. Which isn't very rational."

'Nutters'? Colloquialism. Why? A slip-up? But could it-

Yoshiko made an unrefined noise of irritation. "If I'm formal, I'm hiding something. If I'm casual, I'm being manipulative. I know you don't get much brain exercise but overanalysing will do you no favours."

"…" She was right, to some degree. Shikamaru could not really pin down a proper reason as to why he didn't trust her. Sure, he wasn't a particularly trusting person to begin with but he trusted his peers a lot quicker. Why not with her? Was it because she was so different from him and his way of life? People had an innate distrust of the foreign. Her speech, dress, accomplishments, everything was just the opposite of what he was used to. But distrust of the foreign was fairly shallow and disappeared with familiarity. He'd gotten used to her formality pretty quickly. But despite the apparent familiarity, he still felt like he couldn't quite grasp her. Not even at his beloved shogi board could he picture his opponent. He couldn't picture her, he couldn't see her, he couldn't reach her-

Just like that, a moment of perfect clarity crashed down on him and the stars clicked into place.

 _I see._

* * *

 _The next morning_

"Good morning."

Hearing this, Nara Yoshino turned to see her son. She stared, glanced at the clock to confirm that it was indeed 6.30 am before turning back to her son. "You're up early."

"I wanted to catch dad before work."

The mother paused for a few seconds before nodding. "There's still leftover rice. I'll cook some fish for you. Go talk to your father."

Shikamaru nodded and walked to the dinner table where Shikaku was shoving food into his mouth with one hand and hastily scribbling and stamping paperwork with the other. Shikamaru set fidgeting for half a minute or so, elbow on table and cheek in palm before Shikaku paused in his food consumption to speak.

"Is there something?"

Shikamaru tapped his finger against the table incessantly. "I was overconfident. I thought I could figure her out quickly and analyse her like all the academy kids. But she has a lot more going on than those simple kids. She is a lot more complex. She is a lot more troublesome than me. When I'm with her… I feel like I'm nothing. I just… can't trust her."

Shikaku considered his words carefully, putting down his brush and stamp. "You've never been a prideful boy but I'm still glad that you can acknowledge your mistakes and be honest with yourself. That's the most important thing to learning."

Shikaku looked to the kitchen. "I felt the same thing, when I first met your mother. I was stronger than her. I had a better social status, mission record and intelligence. By all of society's metrics, I was her superior. But I was a stagnant fool, content to lounge about and rest on my laurels. I thought I knew everything. I thought I had everything figured out. She thought I was an idiot and brought me to this strange nightclub. She introduced me to 15 new people that night, half of whom had far less potential than me but had achieved more than I had ever aimed."

Shikaku smiled. "Then she gave me that look. You know the one. The one that told me that I was an idiot worth nothing in her eyes. That look stuck with me. I was irritated by it. What followed was three years of me chasing her around for answers that she continually spat in my face but that I was too stubborn and lazy to accept."

Shikaku sighed. "I'm going to be frank with you. You feel like you're nothing when you're with her because you _have_ done nothing compared to her. You recognise that you should be better than her but that you're not. Potential is meaningless if you're not going to use it. You've been a big fish in a small pond up until now. You're intellectually above all your classmates and you're just now realising that she is of the ocean. In terms of life experience, she's stronger than you. Humans are very sensitive to differences in social power even if they can't always articulate it. That unbalanced power dynamic is one of the reasons you can't trust her."

"That's… not very easy to correct."

"I wasted the first twenty years of my life doing nothing, Shikamaru. Do not make my mistake. Correct it now or that emptiness will follow you." Shikaku paused for a second, considering. "Talk to her. Tell me her response."


	4. Chapter 4

_An average talent multiplier is x1.0. A good talent multiplier is x1.5 – x2.0._

 _General stats such as INT and STR go from 0-144._

 _For future reference, I will be putting pertinent knowledge at the beginning or end of the story. Please read them._

* * *

They were halfway through their second game when Yoshiko finally addressed his strange tension.

"Do you have something to tell me, Nara-san?"

Shikamaru shrugged. His father had told him to talk to Yoshiko but he found himself reluctant to say anything. He didn't feel like talking about it. He didn't feel like doing anything about it. Sure, he could be better but there was nothing really wrong with the way things were. If Yoshiko was making him feel bad, he could always just leave.

He looked up at her calm and serious face. Yet, he didn't really want to leave. He thought too much about the inanest things to just forget. Leaving now would be placing a bandage and he knew that. The root of the problem would be unaddressed. He could do something with his life. Something meaningful. Something that could change lives. He could do that. Most people could do that, even if it was just handing out clothes or taking in a litter of kittens. That was the only concrete, long-term solution to the frustration and disquiet that chased him. The only way to make him feel like he was facing an equal.

He just… didn't really want to. Sleeping was easier.

"It's nothing," he said.

"The world won't wait for you to grow up," Yoshiko warned.

"… Are you a mind reader or something?"

She let out an amused breath. "No. I'm just privy to… a higher plane of information. The change in your feelings towards me is clear. You've also gained a small amount of willpower."

"A higher plane of information? Is that what you're calling your instincts now?"

She smiled. "Maybe."

"You rely on them too much."

"Maybe. But it's not like my instincts are all-powerful or tell me everything. Using the data gained from them and extrapolating it is a skill upon itself. Even if I lose my instincts somehow, that skill will remain."

"You're troublesome."

"Well, thank you. You're not too bad yourself."

"Shut up."

"… I'm arranging an event with the orphanages where all children are invited to play, eat and pet dogs at the local park. Do you want to help?"

"… Fine. I like dogs."

"Good. I shall inform your mother."

Crap. He couldn't back out now. Not that he'd intended to but still. Shikamaru didn't know whether to appreciate her intentions or find it troublesome.

* * *

 _2 weeks later_

 _The Hashirama Great Park_

The event was in full swing with caretakers ushering children into the park and children lining up to get food. Yoshiko looked at the crowd with a smile.

"Satou-san, I want to look at the children from above. Can you bring me to the best vantage point?"

"I'll need to carry you."

"That's fine."

Satou scooped her up and jumped up into the rooftops, landing on the tallest building nearby that oversaw most of the park.

"Thank you," she said, bring out her binoculars and scanning the crowd with a hidden cheshire grin.

In this game, combat was a relatively small part in most lives. As such, having it be the only thing measured in levels would be strange. To a metalworker, for example, viewing the levels of others in terms of their metalworking abilities may be more useful. As such, by going into 'metalworking mode' and essentially telling the system she was about to do metalworking, she could view everyone's level in terms of their metalworking skill and talent multiplier for metalworking specifically. To fully utilise this, she'd maxed out memory and unlocked 'auto-memory'. When activated, she could remember everything she saw, peripheral vision not included. By going into settings and using the thought UI instead of the gesture-based UI, she could and had trained herself to quickly think and automatically cycle through every single discipline so she could view all of someone's talent multipliers, though there were undoubtedly some disciplines she'd yet to discover.

She scanned the park full of children and spotted a few promising stats (for children, anyway) such as:

 _Umemoto Kazuto Lv. 10_

 _INT: 108_

 _WIL: 105_

 _Writing TAL: x2.43_

 _Affiliation: Himawari Orphanage_

 _Fukuda Sayuri Lv. 12_

 _WIL: 99_

 _Genjutsu TAL: x2.01_

 _Singing TAL: x1.80_

 _Dancing TAL: x1.73_

 _Affiliation: Konoha Orphan Home_

There were more than expected. She would have to-

 _Uzumaki Naruto Lv. 8_

She blinked at the numbers. Stood back. Rubbed the binoculars. Peered through again.

 **"What."**

* * *

 _The next day_

Naruto sat in his room, smiling alone. Yesterday was cool! The other kids had no parents to tell them bad stuff about him so they managed to play together! Some of the orphanage aunties were still mean but he managed to find a few friends!

DING-DONG!

A visitor? A friend? Naruto jumped to his feet and dashed to the door, grinning up at the pretty lady standing there.

"Hello, Uzumaki-kun. May I come in?"

"Yeah! Who are you?"

Pretty lady walked in and slipped her shoes off all pretty like. "My name is Ikeda Yoshiko. Nice to meet you."

She walked to his little table and sat on her knees really smoothly. "I saw you at the park yesterday."

"Are you one of the orphanage aunties?"

"You could say that. Actually, I am much more interested in education. In teaching children like you. I think you're very talented."

Naruto lit up. "Really? You think I can become Hokage?!"

"Hokage? Is that your goal?"

"Yes! I'm going to be the bestest Hokage ever!"

"Hmm… that would be difficult. Being as strong as a Hokage, I can believe but being Hokage is difficult."

"What?" Naruto said, confused. "So can I be Hokage or not?"

"Do you like homework?"

Naruto made a disgusted face. "Who likes homework?"

"A Hokage's work is 95% paperwork. If you average it out, you'll get to fight maybe once every month or two. The rest is sitting at a desk stamping things and meeting with boring and mean people."

"What?! But I thought Hokage were supposed to be super badasses!"

Pretty lady winked. "That's just the advertising. If they tell people the truth, no one will want the job."

Naruto's cheek puffed out. "Ji-chan lied to me! He said being Hokage is the best thing ever!"

"Maybe he likes paperwork?"

"No one likes paperwork!"

Pretty lady got up and hugged him. Naruto froze and looked up at her smiling face.

"Uzumaki-kun, how are things going at school?"

"Eh? Umm… everything's fine! I'm the strongest!"

She shook her head. "I can always tell when someone is lying to me." She kneeled down to look him in the eye. "It's fine. There's no need to be afraid. I'm here for you. If things are going bad, I'll help you, okay?"

"… Really?"

"Yes, really."

"… The teachers don't really like me."

"Uzumaki-kun, actually… I have another superpower. I can see the talents of others. And I believe you are talented."

"Really? You believe so?"

"Yes. You know how different people are good at different things? Some are good at cooking and others at running and so forth?"

"Yeah."

"You have very special and specific talents. You're not good at a lot of things but the things you're good at, you're _really_ good at. The best I've seen."

"Really?"

"Yes. Your teachers probably can't see that. They look out for common talents that most people have. You are very good at wind jutsu."

"But… they say I'm not good at ninjutsu."

"That's true to some degree. You're not particularly talented at the general category but you have a few subspecialties you excel at."

"… Sooo… am I good or not?"

"Hmm…" she looked around, her eyes landing on the huge pile of cup ramen in the corner. "Take ramen for example. Most people who can make pork ramen are also good at making seafood ramen, right?"

"Yeah?"

"There are many types of ramen and if you're good at one, you're usually a little good at others. But you're not like that. You're _really, really_ good at making pork ramen but you can't make any other ramen well."

"So I can only make one ramen?"

"You can only do certain types of jutsu very well. Namely, high chakra, low control, heavy damage jutsu. But most kids your age don't have enough chakra so they don't teach those jutsu."

"Wait, so I'm good at the super cool jutsu?"

"Well, yes."

"Ha! Take that, Iruka-sensei! Can you teach me?"

"I'm not a ninja. But I'll try to find you a teacher."

"You can do that?"

"Yes. But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"You can be a legendary ninja. I know that. But you have to work very, very hard. All ninja work hard so if you want to be the best you have to work harder than everyone else. Got it?"

"Of course! You can leave it to me!"

"Will you do your homework?"

"…"

She sighed. "All parents love obedient children. I like you because you seem like a hard worker. Do you really want to be strong?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then listen to this big sister when she says you have to do work. As I said, I know what people are talented at. I know how to make people strong. If you listen to me and do your homework, I'll make you strong, okay?"

"… Okay."

She held out her pinky. "Pinky swear?"

He shook her pinky. "Pinky swear."

She kissed his forehead. "That's a good boy. Here, I cooked you some meals. If you continue being good, I'll cook you more."

* * *

 _Two days later_

 _Gate of the Ninja Academy_

Shikamaru stopped in his tracks.

Chouji glanced at him curiously before following his line of sight. "Oh, it's- it's that girl!" He moved to walk forward but Shikamaru held him back.

"What's wrong, Shikamaru?"

"I want to watch. You can approach later."

"Why?"

"Just wait."

They watched as she embraced Naruto and chatted with him.

"What's she doing with Naruto?" Chouji asked.

Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't know. But Naruto… well, I don't know exactly what it is but there's something strange going on around him. Maybe she senses that."

* * *

 _The next day_

A maid opened the door and stared at him, wide-eyed. "Ho-Hokage-sama?!"

He smiled reassuringly at the maid. "Yes. Could I come in?"

The maid nodded. "Of course, sir. Please come in."

He stepped into the lavish home. Even though it was only a secondary residence, gold was still splattered everywhere. The carpets were lush, the walls adorned with expensive art and the lights made of crystal. He was led to the grand living room and amidst it was a little girl with dark under eye bags in a t-shirt and shorts. The living room table, floor and carpet was covered in sheets of paper with barely legible writing and over it all was the swat of the brush and the furious clicking of the abacus.

The girl looked up and all sounds halted as she stared at him.

"Sachiko," she snapped. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Well, he's the Hokage, so I thought-"

The girl cut her off. "No one enters my residence without my explicit approval not just because I want to chase unwanted visitors out. Do I look presentable?"

"… No?" The maid replied.

"Exactly. Introducing myself before him as I am is incredibly disrespectful." The girl stood up and bowed low to the Hokage. "I apologise for my unsightly appearance. Please allow Sachiko to escort you to the reception room while I make myself presentable."

"It's fine. I don't mind."

"Then I shall excuse myself." The girl disappeared before he could say that he didn't mind her appearance, not that he didn't mind her fixing herself up. His ANBU had dug up everything they could about her in such a short time frame and she used to be an orphan herself. Maybe her new parents were very strict with formality. It wasn't uncommon in important civilian clans.

Sachiko bowed. "Please follow me, sir."

He was escorted to a smaller reception room where he was served tea and an assortment of strange biscuits that were rather delicious. It was 15 minutes before Ikeda Yoshiko emerged again with full makeup and kimono. He had to hide his surprise at the massive transformation from dishevelled little girl to refined young lady in such a short time. She would've been great at disguises.

She bowed. "I am Ikeda Yoshiko, daughter of the main house of the Ikeda clan. I am honoured to meet you."

He nodded back. "There's no need for such formality."

She sat opposite towards him and Sachiko poured her a cup of tea before being dismissed. "What business does the Hokage have with me?"

"I am not here in my official capacity as Hokage."

"Ah. Uzumaki-kun?"

"Yes. The boy doesn't have many friends and I worry about him."

"I have an interest in education and charity. That boy has potential. He shouldn't be rotting away there." She had recently built a school and two orphanages along with personally funding the education of many children into good schools so he could believe that. She'd been an orphan herself so she probably felt a kinship of sorts with them.

"What makes you say he has potential?"

"Instinct."

"Really?" Shikaku had mentioned that in the report.

She smiled. "I guess that's a bit hard to believe, isn't it?" She looked him dead in the eye, smile now gone. "In order: Fire, Earth, Lightning, Wind, Water. For weapons: Shuriken, Kunai, Bou, Sword, Tantou, Tonfa. In general: Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Genjutsu. Sub-specialities: Sealing jutsu, Space-time jutsu, Barrier jutsu, Cloning jutsu. Non-combat: Model building, Metalworking, Drawing, Photography. Hobbies-" She grimaced, making a disgusted face. "Hobbies… the top seven… involve women. I'll leave it at that."

"…"

"…"

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "That's impressive, Yoshiko-chan."

"My instincts have never wrong."

"And… you believe Naruto is talented."

"I've researched all I can and consulted with a few ninja but it seems impossible to find teaching talent without some sort of accompanying animosity towards Uzumaki-kun. He could be a one-man army if he wanted to be. He has enough HP to tank just about anything and I've _never_ in my life seen anyone with so much chakra. All he needs is to nail down a taijutsu style and learn chakra-intensive, low control jutsu and he's set. My problem is his control. He only has low resultant control because of his insane chakra. All things considered, his base and multiplier for that are around average. But his intelligence isn't that high and he learns through bodily repetition. The abstract concepts and visualisation necessary for complex chakra control techniques are out of his grasp for now. At this rate, he'll be stuck doing basic chakra control exercises until he's 12 before he can even see a glimmer of his true potential. I can wait but he can't wait that long for results. Is there any way to restrain the amount of chakra he has?"

"He has too much of it. It would be an incredible strain."

She sighed. "I thought so. In that case, the only other option is to have him blast chakra until he's down to an acceptable level. That should also stop him bouncing off the walls. Do you have an easy jutsu he can channel a lot of chakra into?"

He stroked his beard. "Hmm…" He mentally ran through his rather extensive arsenal of jutsu, trying to find one suitable for him. "Well, it's not easy but the Shadow Clone jutsu expands a lot of chakra. The hardest part about it is gathering enough chakra into a huge and extremely concentrated mass the size of themselves. As well as not going into organ failure from having half their chakra sapped. But his chakra is naturally so dense and voluminous that he may be able to do it naturally."

Her eyes darted up and down for a while before they froze and her face slowly broke into a chesire grin. "Coupled with the clone's secondary effect… That's genius! Genius! Genius! Could you produce the amount of chakra needed for him to sustain training for an hour?"

"Why?"

"I need to know the number to do calculations and I'm guessing you don't know the exact number."

She could quantify chakra? Only good sensors could do that but given her chakra levels, he was fairly certain she was a civilian… fresh genin level at the absolute most. Curious, he obliged. After staring at a spot above his head for ten seconds, she flicked her wrist, activating the seal on her wrist and an abacus fell into her hands. Her fingers raced across the instrument. "For a one hour training session, he can easily create 700 clones with his current chakra with enough to spare. At that rate…" More clicks of the abacus. "Doing a simple calculation, we can get him started on wind jutsu in just three months. He can start channelling his chakra to his limbs in a month."

"You are very confident."

She shrugged. "It's a simple calculation making many assumptions such as Naruto picking up the jutsu instantly and that he will cooperate. There are many extraneous variables that can interfere and things never go exactly according to plan. It could be longer, it could be shorter. I'm not good enough to calculate error bars in my head yet."

"How exact are your abilities?"

"… Well, I know enough that even if you add all the health and chakra of every Konoha ninja, you probably still can't beat him."

Unless she knew about the Kyuubi… "You think so?"

"Yes. I've never seen health regeneration like that. Almost all of his chakra is locked down but even then, it's not enough. When you lift it later on, I can't imagine how powerful he'll be."

She could sense the seal? "That's interesting. Your… powers are strange."

"Yes. His chakra is weird though. I've searched but all its components do not add up to 100%. Far from it. I feel like I'm missing something."

A lot of Naruto's chakra went to maintaining the seal. Could that be what she sensed was missing? He wasn't sure about the girl. On one hand, he did get the impression that she was genuine in her desire to help Naruto and Naruto needed a friend dearly. On the other hand, she was a daughter to a powerful clan. They weren't a ninja clan so they weren't privy to Naruto's true nature, but when it came to light, he didn't want Naruto to become a political chess piece.

"I appreciate your concern for Naruto but please be careful about what you impart on him. He stormed into my office calling me a liar."

She laughed. "The boy has an incredible hatred towards homework. Don't worry, Hokage-sama. I quite like Naruto's will but I'm not his keeper. I don't have any say in his choices or life. I can only advise. As Hokage, I'm sure you can arrange far better teachers for him."

* * *

 _Two days later_

"Yo. I'm Hatake Kakashi. I'll be your sensei."

* * *

 _A week later_

"-and then he threw me into the lake! He's an asshole!"

"Your sensei seems like he has some… interesting teaching methods. I would like to meet him."

 _Later_

"Greetings, Hatake Kakashi. I am Ikeda Yoshiko. Nice to meet you." The rich girl had set up her own table and chair under a tree in the training ground while waiting for him and seemed to be filling out some sort of permit and other paperwork. She looked quite settled in with her maid fanning her while she sipped ice cold juice in sunglasses.

"Who are you?"

"A concerned citizen." She tilted her head. "You are an interesting character. Why are you Uzumaki-kun's sensei?"

He shrugged. "I'm as puzzled as you are. Hokage-sama's orders." He had his guesses. He was the Hokage's grandstudent and the Hokage seemed to think that it would be a 'nice break' to babysit the splitting image of his dead sensei. It wasn't. He wanted to kill something.

"I see."

* * *

 _The next day_

 _Hokage's residence_

"How's training going?" Hiruzen asked.

Naruto's face shrivelled into an incongruous mix of outrage and poutiness. "Kakashi-sensei is a complete ass! He's lazy, always reading those weird books of his and he's _never_ on time! He doesn't care at all! Yoshiko-nee would be a better ninja teacher than him!" He rummaged through his pocket and pulled out an amazingly crumpled letter. "Oh yeah, Yoshiko-nee told me to give you this."

He took the ball of paper and smoothed it out to read the beautiful script.

 _Hokage-sama,_

 _As a human being concerned with the health, safety and prospects of our most beloved and darling Uzumaki Naruto, I have met and evaluated the talents and mental states of multiple potential teachers, including one esteemed Hatake Kakashi of the Sharingan. Please allow this concerned citizen to humbly suggest a few names that may be associated with mental stability, proper conduct and handling around children and satisfactory teaching talent in order of recommendation._

What followed was a ranked list of names, several of which had been evaluated and approved for their potential as jounin-sensei. Most notably, Kakashi was _not_ on that list.

"Kakashi is an exceptional ninja."

Naruto looked rather incredulous and doubtful. "But he arrives late all the time! Sachiko-nee says not to follow him and that a hero must always arrive on time or people can get hurt."

"Well, she's not wrong. I would like you to be punctual. But Kakashi is still a very good ninja."

"He always messes up and breaks the training ground and never cleans up! Sachiko-nee says that property damage is a crime and that it's very inconsiderate to the clean-up people."

"Weeell… that's also true…"

"He always runs away whenever anyone's around, even when we're eating so I have to pay for him! Sachiko-nee says not paying the restaurant is bad and a crime!"

"Weeeell… having your subordinates or kouhai foot the bill is not _completely_ out of the ordinary."

"He also stole all my lunch boxes and I never get them back! Sachiko-nee says that's stealing and stealing's a crime!" Naruto seemed exceptionally angry and upset about this one. "They're all presents from Yoshiko-nee and they're _really_ pretty and tasty and expensive!"

Hiruzen sighed. "I can give you a second teacher. You can see if you like him better."

Naruto threw his arms in the air. "Yeah! No one can be worse than that stupid, one-eyed criminal!"

* * *

 _The next morning_

Naruto woke up to the incessant banging of his door and ringing of his bell. He glanced at his clock. 4.30am? He wanted to go back to sleep but the knocking only got louder. He hazily stumbled out of bed to open the door and was instantly shocked with a blast of holy light that burnt brighter than the hottest stars.

"GOOD MORNING, Naruto-kun! I am _**MAITO GAI**_ , your new sensei!" Before he knew it, Naruto was wrapped in Gai's iron embrace and was sailing across the village. "Let us begin a most GLORIOUSLY **YOUTHFUL** TRAINING SESSION!"

* * *

 _Three days later_

"I'm dying, Yoshiko-nee. I'm dying. He burst in before the sun rises and waits for me at the school gate. I swear I see that smile in my dreams!"

She smiled at him gently and kissed his forehead. "But isn't it nice? To have someone who care about you that much?"

Naruto's outraged expression vanished to a quiet sadness. "… Yeah."


	5. Chapter 5

_5 days later_

 _Yoshiko's secondary residence_

"Nara-san?"

"What is it?"

"I have a favour to ask you."

And she had that smile on her. She always had a smile and he was just starting to pick up little differences between some of them. And this one… this one was just troublesome.

" **No.** "

He was completely ignored. "Actually, I picked up a few exceptionally talented orphans the other day and I'm going to send some of them to a jutsu school next year. But some of them are a little older and none of them have any experience or previous training. I'm afraid they'll feel lost and discouraged during the first semester. Could you give them a starter course?"

"I'm busy with my schoolwork."

"Then it must be a miracle that you find time to come over three hours a day."

"Teaching and knowing are two different skillsets."

"I know that. Your teaching talent is decently good."

"I've never done anything like that. Just because I have the talent doesn't mean I'll be good."

"Everyone has to start somewhere and those children wouldn't have high expectations. It will be good practice for when you have to teach your own heir or take on your own genin team."

"I don't know what to teach them."

"I have already outlined the syllabus, booked the venue, set the date and time as well as contacted every one of their orphanages about the event."

"… You're trying too hard to make it difficult for me to back out. If I do, your reputation will drop."

"You still underestimate me after all this time? Why make it difficult when you can make it impossible? I've contacted your mother and she seems to think this is a _splendid_ idea."

Shikamaru stared. Yoshiko smiled. Shikamaru sighed. "I hate you. I hate you _so much_."

"Well, thank you."

* * *

 _1 week later_

The classroom was a small, rented gathering hall with wooden tables, chairs and a wheel-in chalkboard. He counted 14 little heads attached to nervous, eager and curious eyes that were beamed onto him with expectation. In his hand was a notebook filled with tips, lesson guidelines and profiles of all the students, put together by a chuunin sensei, the orphanage caretakers and Yoshiko. As per suggestion, he was in a henge of an adult to gain more respect and authority amongst the children.

"I'm Nara Shikamaru. Today, I'll be teaching you the basics of chakra…"

 _Later_

The lesson continued and ended without a hitch. The children were amazingly quiet and easy to control compared to his own academy class and were fairly diligent. According to the profiles, 5 of them couldn't even read hiragana but the effort was still made to follow some of the diagrams and pictures in the printouts. It could be that the orphans were just more diligent but it was more likely that they have been selected because of their diligence. Which meant Yoshiko could actually 'feel' that.

"Nara-sensei."

He looked down at the little girl. He couldn't remember her name. "What is it?"

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"As in?"

"I want to grow up faster."

"Why?"

"So I can get money."

"Why?"

"Because I want to grow up faster!" She said impatiently, as if he was supposed to just get it.

Shikamaru bit back his sigh. She was… what, 7? She didn't understand what she wanted. He supposed the will to do extra homework was good. "Can you read?"

"No."

Great. He couldn't give her a book or worksheets. "Then learn how to read first."

"How?"

"Ask your caretaker."

"I did! She said I didn't need to."

"Well, she's wrong. It's a lot harder to get a good job if you can't read." The girl looked guilty, as if she'd been caught stealing cookies. "What is it?"

"You knew I wanted a job?"

"… How else would you get money?"

"By getting a business?"

"That's also a job."

"… Oh."

"I'll find you someone to teach you." And by find someone, he meant tell Yoshiko and see if she did anything about it. He _could_ do it himself… but he didn't know how long it would take for her to learn and didn't want to chain himself down.

* * *

 _2 weeks later_

 _Yoshiko's secondary residence_

As Sachiko stepped in, her master was sitting in the living room again, eyes glazed and mind wandering. She'd been doing that more and more recently and Sachiko lightly put the biscuits and tea onto the table.

"Are you alright, Ikeda-sama?"

Ikeda-sama's eyes sharpened and focused onto Sachiko's face as she slowly moved to take the cup of hot tea. "Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You've been more distracted lately."

"Hmm… I guess. I can't seem to concentrate."

"Are you stressed? You don't take many breaks. Maybe your body is forcing you to stop working."

"… Maybe." She sipped her tea. "Sachiko… why do you live?"

What a sudden question. Maybe she'd just been thinking about it? "Why I live?"

"Yes."

"I used to ask myself that question a lot before you saved me. Why am I even alive? But after you saved me… that's right, I haven't really thought about it for a while. I guess…. I guess… serving you… gives me a purpose. I like being with you. You treat me well, the pay is good but most of all… I think the most important thing is your work. When I see the children happy with the food, I feel happy too. I guess serving you means making them happy them too. It's like I'm serving everyone and making everyone happy. In particular, Naruto-kun. He's a little naughty but that's just because he has such horrible adults around him. When I manage to teach him something, that makes me happy too."

"… I see. That's good. I'm glad you're happy."

"… Ikeda-sama… I'm sorry but… are you… sad?"

"I'm not sure. I guess I'm a bit down."

"If you start thinking about these kind of things, you start to feel sad."

"I… I am happy sometimes." She looked down at her papers. "But there's also a lot of things that I have to do first."

"I'm sure you can find other people to do the paperwork for you."

"I could but-" She sighed and shook her head. "No, no, you're right, Sachiko. I'm just… paranoid. I could outsource some of my work."

"Maybe you need to relax and calm down. Maybe you need a vacation."

"… Maybe."

* * *

 _3 days later_

 _Yoshiko's secondary residence_

"I'm going to the capital for a while."

"Why?"

"I've enrolled the children there. I plan to build a dormitory for them."

"… Those children… are really talented. Not only that, all of them are hard workers."

"There's no helping those who won't help themselves."

"Hmph. That event… you used that to scout out talent. What for?"

"I told you. I like seeing people reach their potential. I've already planned out all the builds for the children, though not as in-depth as I'd like. If you ever feel like working, come to me. I have things for you."

"What do you know of the ninja arts?"

"Most of them won't be ninja. If I wanted them to be, I could just enrol them in the Konoha Ninja Academy."

"Why don't you?"

"Becoming a ninja is not a path I would choose for anyone."

"Few choose the path of the ninja. It can't be helped. Training has to start young."

"If that's what you think. There are many bonuses when you're younger but the talent multiplier remains the same, I'll have you know."

"I still don't get how you can pull numbers out based on instinct. Surely they are inaccurate?"

"Who knows?"

There was definitely a lot more to her abilities than she was letting on. Shikamaru won't be surprised if they worked nothing like advertised. "I don't like cryptic bullshit."

"Liar. You'd be bored without it."

A brief smirk surfaced on his face. "Maybe. But I get the feeling that this puzzle is beyond my paygrade."

"Humble, are we now?"

"For now. But I _will_ figure you out."

Her lips slowly crept and stretched across her face as her eyes dimmed and her teeth bit into her painted lips. She shifted from her perfect kneel, her center of weight falling to the side as she rested her body on her left palm.

"I look forward to it, my dear." The ever soft, gentle quality present in her voice wisped to smoke and in its place, was a steel wire of playful amusement and absolute confidence.

She was daggling a piece of the puzzle in from of him. She was provoking him. She was intentionally fucking with him and that irritated him to no end because he felt, he _knew_ within him that he _could_ beat her. There was a primal part of him that lurched forward aggressively in response to the challenge, shocking the rest of his system that was just content to languish in comfort. He didn't _really_ want to do anything but he **wanted** to do _**something**_ and it irritated him that he was irritated because he knew that she was doing it intentionally and he was willing to bet that she knew that he was irritated at her for irritating him but she was still so confident about it which irritated him even more and-

He sighed. "What does everything have to be so complicated around you?"

That strange strangling of a smile was gone in an instant and replaced with a dainty bat of the lashes. "My sweet summer child, the world is as complicated as you make it out to be."

"I hate you."

"Such high praise. Sometimes, the best course of action is to stop thinking and just do."

"Why do I get this feeling that I'm being pushed around?"

"My goals and actions don't clash with yours. We're not in competition or fighting each other. In other words, you're playing a single-player game. Whether I win or lose at my game is irrelevant to your outcome. Your goal is to win, not for me to lose."

Nothing she said was wrong. Shikamaru didn't dislike her. He'd usually be lounging in bed, mind in a bored haze as he sluggishly thought of all the troublesome things he had to do but couldn't will his body to move. She gave him something to think about just with all the strange things about her. Her weird 'instinct' powers, mind for optimisation, doll-like mask and other stuff that just… didn't sit right with him. He was missing something. He didn't believe for a second that someone like her spontaneously came into existence and he believed her 'instincts' and math ability played a strong role in how she viewed the world. If he could just figure out how that worked…

He wanted to figure her out. He wanted to win but…

That required a lot of effort. Did he want to solve this puzzle that badly?

* * *

 _3 days later_

 _The Capital City of Fire_

It was a normal day of shopping. He needed to get gifts and a few new outfits but otherwise, it was a nice, relaxing day to stroll (with his entourage of guards and servants).

"Prince."

He turned to see a young noble lady with a maid following behind her. The crest indicated that she was of the Ikeda but for the life of him, he could not remember who this girl was.

"Ikeda-san."

"I saw you shopping and thought to greet you."

"I see." There was an awkward pause as he scrambled for something to say. What were the Ikeda famous for? Greed? But he couldn't- Money! Money lending! "How is your father's business doing?"

"Very well. The Ikeda are prosperous as ever."

"That's great."

Another pause.

The girl smiled. "As the Clan Head, he's very busy."

Clan head? That's right, Ikeda Osaaki had adopted a girl a few years ago, right? What was her name again? Minami? Misa? Miki? She'd never appeared in court so she must be young but this girl didn't look that young. She looked like she could be searching for matches already. Then again, he had heard rumours of her bad attitude.

"Will you be attending the daimyo's court this season?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm not of age. I'm here on vacation."

Where was the Ikeda estate? It was in the south but where in the south again? He really needed to pay more attention in classes.

"I see. Then I hope you enjoy your vacation."

She bowed her head. "Thank you. Then I shall leave you to your shopping."

He breathed a sigh of relief as she walked away. Luckily, she'd really just been here to give her greetings rather than curry favour. But just 2 hours later, he found her attempting to recruit a saleswoman at a clothing store.

"What are you doing?"

She turned around, an expression of surprise on her face quickly smoothed over and she bowed. "Prince."

He looked between the two of them. "Do you recruit people on your vacation?"

"Work never ends, my Prince."

"Work? You're involved with your father's business?"

"Oh, not really. I just have a couple restaurants and boutiques."

"Why?"

"I like education and children but the Ikeda clan aren't exactly a charity. If I want to build orphanages, I have to do it with my own money."

He imagined so. You don't get that rich by being overly generous. In fact, Ikeda Osaaki was known to be a horrible cheapskate on most everything but his wife's shopping allowance. Honestly, his courtship and marriage with Hirose Atsuko was the court romance surprise of the decade. Despite that, he wouldn't be surprised if Osaaki's love didn't extend to his misbehaving adopted daughter and he forced her to work for her keep.

"I guess that's good. It must be hard." What sort of well-to-do, noble gentleman lets their daughter worry about money? Honestly. She was such a short, pretty little thing dressed in flowers and sparrows. Just hire a spiritual teacher or get her married if she was too recalcitrant.

"Thank you. If I can be of use to my father, nothing is too hard."

She seemed like a nice enough girl. Of course, they probably were just pretty words but he could've always gotten this Miki girl mixed up with another one. He didn't exactly pay attention to women gossip. Why couldn't he remember her name? He should really know it in case he bumped into her again. Right now, he had to run before she figured out he didn't know who she was.

"That's good. Have fun on your vacation."

She bowed. "Thank you. Please enjoy your shopping trip."

He fled from the shop and once they were at a safe distance, whispered to his long-time servant.

"What was her name?"

"I haven't seen her before but I believe she is Ikeda Yoshiko, second daughter of the main house."

"Second daughter? He has two of them?"

"He adopted one recently. Her restaurant in Konoha is just called 'Yoshiko' so unless both his daughters have restaurants, that's her."

"And what's the name of the first one?"

"Mika."

So close. It would've been so embarrassing if he'd called her Miki.

* * *

 _1 week later_

 _The Capital City of Fire_

Leo sat on a rooftop, snacking on some ice cream. Fire Country was hot even this late in the year. He scanned the people milling below him. Useless. Useless. Boring. Mildly interesting. Weak. Useless. This vacation was quickly getting boring. Maybe two more days and he'd get back to work. He finished his ice cream and stood up, patting any dirt off his butt. He swerved his eyes to the corner. Where was that dango shop-

A red dot. Right at the edge of his map. This was potentially interesting.

 _Later_

Yoshiko, Sachiko and Satou stopped in their tracks as they spotted the dishevelled man on Yoshiko's hotel bed. He wore a button down and shorts with his hair haphazardly clipped short. There was an uneven, random line of what looked like green acrylic paint on the side of his face and ice cream residue on the corners of his mouth.

Satou put himself in front of Yoshiko.

"Ikeda-sama, run. He's an S-class criminal wanted basically everywhere."

Yoshiko's eyes flicked between the two men. "No. The chances of you holding him off are practically 0%. If he has business with me, there's no point in all three of us dying."

Satou shook his head. "You don't understand. Reonarudo is wanted for crimes more egregious than you can imagine. He tortures people as a past time and thinks nothing of burning whole cities down. There are many worse things than death."

Leo laughed. "You really like to exaggerate. Ah, and Leo is fine. 'Leonardo' is a mouthful, isn't it? I would like to talk to Anoushka."

"Who is that?" Satou demanded.

Yoshiko sighed. "Please leave. We have no way of holding him off. I'll talk to him."

Satou bit his lip and backed off, sticking an explosive tag to Yoshiko's neck on the way out. "Activate it if things go south. You will regret it if you're captured alive."

"Thank you."

Satou and Sachiko left the room. Leo sauntered over to the door and locked it. "Just so you know, I can knock you out faster than you can activate that tag."

"Your level and amount of chakra insane. I don't doubt it," Yoshiko replied.

Leo plopped himself back on the bed while Yoshiko remained standing. "Your level is fine but your HP and MP are ridiculously low. You took the civilian route? Isn't that boring?"

"Sometimes. There's some sporadic excitement. And you've taken the murderous psychopathic route?"

"Hah! You could say that. I prefer 'mad scientist'. We've got a whole new world to explore!"

"At any cost, I presume."

"Depends on what you consider a cost. If I had to give up my hand? Nah. But like… umm… killing 1000 kids or something? What does that cost me? Not much. My reputation is pretty bad already and I have made quite a bit of bank." He looked her up and down. "You're not doing so bad in that department as well."

"Well, thank you. What business do you have with me?"

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular. Thought I'd just pop by to check you out. Players are rare."

"Who do you know?"

"Hmm… there's the one that died a couple years ago and that other one I killed…" Leo scrunched his face up. "He was a dick. There's another one I want gone but Chrissy is just annoyingly hard to kill. I swear, with just how much firepower that kid has, he _has_ to have like x3.00 talent in every combat discipline." He sighed. "If only I had known. She's a real pain in the ass, I tell you. If you meet her, can you convince her not to kill me? Better yet, can you kill him for me? If you do, I will love you forever. Actually, maybe not forever. But at least for ten minutes."

"Between ten minutes and forever? Your errors bars are pretty large."

"I can't decide whether I find her cute and hilarious or annoying and potentially dangerous. Well, not potentially. Should be, probably, definitely quite dangerous. She can blow stuff up pretty well and she _really, really, really_ wants to kill me, you see. But if I'm ever permanently off with Princess, I'd totally try and kill Chrissy. Or at least mess with her. So I'm not sure how I'd feel if you killed him."

"Is Chrissy male or female?"

"Not really sure. Don't care to think it out. Sometimes I get the image of a guy, sometimes a girl so I just use whatever." Leo snickered. "It _really_ pisses her off."

"Transgender?"

"Not sure what you'd call it. Used to be a guy in the old world but you can't exactly choose your body so there's a 50% chance of your genitals being wrong. There was also this white guy from… I can't quite remember. Anyway, he was born here black as all hell and he was _soooo_ pissed about it. Spent half his time saying that he wasn't _really_ black because Lightning isn't Africa. Very hilarious and also very dead. Some people just can't settle in this world. Chrissy's only been here for 3 years and he's _really_ not adjusting well. Makes me glad that I was already insane and had a dick in the old world. How long have you been around?"

"7. You?"

"18 years and going strong. I'm an oldie. Don't piss me off or I'll slice you."

"Thank you for the warning."

Leo stared at her. "Are you seriously not scared of me? I could just randomly decide to burn you alive."

"If you'd like me to act scared of you, I could always do so."

"Hmm… acting… acting? Did you used to be a Bollywood actor in the old world?" Leo paused. "Anoushka is Indian, right?"

"It's been a long time since I've been called by that name. I may not respond to it."

"But you were called that for your whole previous life, right?"

"Not really. If you insist on an old-world name, Lily would get a quicker response from me."

"You changed your name?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"More people know how to pronounce Lily."

"But it's not like Anoushka is that hard to pronounce."

"How about you?"

"My name is and always has been Leo. I don't like changing names. But people really love making new ones up for me. Usually involving blood or death or terror. Horribly cliché monikers. I hear a new one every year. Seriously, people in this world are _horrible_ at naming things. I've done so many interesting things over the years and made so many contributions to science but they never incorporate any of that. I'm the reason cholera is down 70% in Water! _**Water!**_ But does anyone ever mention that? No! Don't they know how hard it was to get that achievement? It's all: 'Ah! Reonarudo-sama is so scary! Run!' I don't spend _all_ my time kidnapping and killing people, okay?! Sometimes, I feel like buying ice cream and cuddling with puppies! You can't outrun me and now you've irritated me! God, people are dumb." He sighed and shook his head. "So? What have you done?"

"Not much."

"Did you get rich or were you born rich?"

"Adopted."

"Lucky. I had to ship _a lot_ of drugs to get my money. So much that it's becoming a bit of a pain. I'm sort of running out of places to put my money so I was thinking of stopping but that's its own mess. Ah, I'll figure it out. But still…" He sighed. "You seem incredibly boring. I'm really disappointed. Do you have anything going for you at all? Hobbies? Specialities? Secret plans for world domination? I'm so bored I'd even accept a stupid star-crossed romance."

"My hobbies are private. Telling you my specialities seems like a bad idea. If I had secret plans for world domination they would be secret. I have no interest in romance at this point."

"Nothing? At all?" Leo pressed. "I can tell you that every single player I've met has had _something_ going for them. They were never just random nice, normal people from the old world who got randomly teleported. They were all wackos and… **exceptional** people in their own _special little_ _way_."

"Perhaps that's because only the exceptional survive long and hard enough to catch your eye."

"There _is_ probably some skewing of the data but still. Are you really that boring?"

"Yes. I'm a perfectly ordinary and pleasant civilian girl who loves sunshine, flowers and all things small and fluffy."

"… Ah. I see. You're a slimy-type."

"Slimy?"

"Slimy-type players are best eradicated if they interfere with my goals or left alone if they're not."

"The warning has been noted. Conflict with you would best be avoided."

"Good." He got up and stretched. "I'm a little more inspired now." He was about to climb out the window when he paused. "Ah. I lied a little. Slimy-types are _always_ best killed early. It's just that leaving them alone is usually the more interesting option." He smiled at her. "Go do something exciting and big, okay? Something beautifully planned and convoluted."

 _Leonardo has sent you a friend quest. Accept?_

 _Yes_

 _Leonardo has been added to your friends list._

"That will take some time."

"I can and have waited for years." With that, he disappeared out the window.

She waited for a while before closing the window and slowly sitting down, legs a little wobbly as cool relief poured over her. She moved her hair back and wiped the little beads of sweat that had gathered there.

"I hate capricious people," she muttered. "This will be troublesome."


	6. Chapter 6

_1 week later_

 _Yoshiko's secondary residence_

"You were gone for two weeks and you managed to build a dormitory, learn horseback riding and get attacked by an S-class ninja. How."

"You like to over exaggerate. The last one is really out of my control and the dormitory plans were well under way already. I just gave the go ahead. I also didn't learn horseback riding. That takes a few months at the very least. I just bought a horse and managed to hire a teacher to come to Konoha to teach me." She thought for a second. "I also bought a place for my horse, of course. She's a cutie. Do you want to meet Koko-chan?"

"That's not the important bit! Do you know the things Reonarudo has done?"

"The police were a bit hesitant but they did let me look at the file."

"And?"

"He's done a lot of things."

"You just met a monster."

Yoshiko hummed. "Monsters have feelings too, you know. They have their own goals, ideals and rationales that guide them. In other words, they are predicable to some degree. For that, I need to stay calm."

"You weren't afraid?"

"I won't say that. I'm human too."

"How did you escape?"

"He had no real intention to hurt me in the first place. If he decides to… well, there's really not much I can do."

"… You're not normal."

"It isn't as if I have no fear. I used to be a scared little girl too, once upon a time. But then I realised that being paralysed and scared gets you nothing. When that realisation was hammered and seeped to my bones, I started fighting."

"You're still a little girl, you know."

"Not really."

"Why are you in such a rush to grow up? Just enjoy your time. Once you're an adult, there's no going back."

"I know. But it can't be helped. When you grow up, you grow up. Isn't that right, _Nara-san?_ "

"Shut up."

Yoshiko sighed. "In time."

"… Are you happy?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Are you happy?"

"You want to talk about feelings?"

"Are you happy?"

"… You're troublesome."

"Yoshiko."

She sighed again. "I don't know. I'm content, to some degree."

"And what would make you happy? More money? More orphanages?"

"…" She looked at him, face somewhat blank, somewhat melancholic. "Life is suffering and one should stop desiring what is out of their grasp. I'm grateful I get to do what I do and I do actually love much of it but… some things are just…" She hesitated, looking side to side before sighing. "No, it's nothing."

"Nothing? Don't expect me to believe that."

"Maybe later."

"You'll just dodge again tomorrow."

"Maybe sometime in the future."

"You just don't want to answer, don't you?"

"In the future."

"All that talk of me not trusting you… you don't trust me either."

"It can't be helped. You're ultimately loyal to your clan and village. Your affection for me is limited compared to that."

"In other words, you want me to take the first step."

"The risk for you is much lower."

"What secrets do you hide?"

"What are you talking about? I'm a perfectly ordinary and pleasant civilian girl who loves sunshine, flowers and all things small and fluffy."

"You can't expect me to believe that."

"Why don't you?"

"I don't know. You're just very… cold."

"But I do good things, don't I? And my… 'coldness', as you like to put it, helps me do that."

"At the very least, you are not normal."

"You really like to exaggerate. It's true that ninja children don't usually dabble in property but if I were a son, having a few building projects and businesses is hardly unusual. In fact, I have not done anything extraordinary."

He sighed. "I guess I'll have to adjust my sense of 'normal' around you."

* * *

 _The next day_

 _The Konoha Ninja Academy_

"What are you thinking about, Shikamaru?"

He turned to see Chouji walking over with his school lunch. "Nothing much."

"You've been thinking a lot."

"I always think a lot."

"But you don't hang out with me as much."

"… Actually… I've been visiting Ikeda Yoshiko a lot."

"That name… sounds familiar."

"The girl you saw at the Akimichi feast."

"Oh! You're friends?"

"Not exactly."

"But you visit her a lot?"

"Yes."

"You talk to her a lot?"

"Yes."

"You like her a lot?"

"… She's just… a little different. Apparently normal but…"

"So you like her?"

"… I guess…?"

"But you're not friends?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I… We don't trust each other."

"Why not?"

"… I feel like there's a lot she's not letting on. I feel like she's keeping a lot of secrets."

"Then ask her."

"She won't tell me."

"Then don't."

"That doesn't solve the issue."

"But Mum says all ninja have secrets and sometimes it's rude to ask."

When it was put that way… if he didn't accept that she had some things she just didn't want to tell, he'd never make friends with any jounin. But it was just…

"I don't like what I don't know. I don't like that I can't know."

It was shameful, voicing and putting it like that. It sounded like such a silly and childish concern: the fear of the unknown. No, not a fear. He was lazy and unfriendly. He wasn't particularly strong combat-wise. The only thing he had going for him was his intelligence. It was the only thing he had. Perhaps his ego just couldn't stand that he didn't know something. He'd always looked down on overly prideful ninja but perhaps he'd been one of them, wrapped up in maintaining superiority. He just valued a different type of superiority.

"Is it okay to not know?" He asked, not really expecting an answer.

"That sounds complicated. Do you want to be her friend?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Do you want to or not?"

"I… want… to?"

"Then be friends." Satisfied, Chouji sat down and opened his bento, happily munching on the tonkatsudon.

"… You're happy."

"Of course!"

"Why?"

"Because mum cooked one of my favourites today! Look at this egg!" He said, excitedly showing how the pork and egg drippings seeped into his rice.

"That's too simple."

"You're too complicated, Shikamaru."

 _That strange strangling of a smile was gone in an instant and replaced with a dainty bat of the lashes. "My sweet summer child, the world is as complicated as you make it out to be."_

"I… like to make things very complicated, don't I?"

"Yes!"

"Should I be her friend?"

"If you want to, just do it! If you love it, just do it! That's what Dad says!"

" _I could list a thousand reasons and do a deep analysis but it all leads back to the same thing." She leaned forward. "I love it. I do it because I love it."_

Shikamaru snorted. How simple. It was so simple yet he'd been so stupid. He was supposed to be the smartest yet Chouji had so quickly, so easily, so instinctively grasped what everyone had been trying to hammer into Shikamaru.

Emotions were what drove and fulfilled humans. Not logic.

And for some reason, Shikamaru had assumed that he was above that.

* * *

"I want to be your friend. I want to do something."

Yoshiko's astonished look was almost insulting but the beautiful smile that followed was worth it.

"Not a moment too soon, Shikamaru."

* * *

 _The next day_

"So… I talked to her."

Shikaku quickly swallowed his rice. "Good job. It only took you…" he thought for a while "… 2½ months."

"I get it. I'm slow on the uptake."

Shikaku shook his head. "No, genuinely. It took me around 4½ years to have a proper conversation with Yoshino. 2½ months is good."

"… I think you're just slow, Dad."

Shikaku rolled his eyes. "So? What happened?"

"Somehow, I got a job."

"… As in?"

"An actual job. I've been hired as her part-time personal assistant."

* * *

His job honestly wasn't very hard, glamorous or particularly important but a week in and Shikamaru couldn't help but appreciate what he had been given.

Yoshiko's complete schedule.

No more dodging, no more cryptic messages, Shikamaru knew exactly what she was doing at any time on any day and it was crazy. Dance classes, singing classes, koto classes, horseback riding, calligraphy, painting, maths, history, art appreciation, science and those were just some of the classes. All 3 hours long and many twice a week. Only _after_ attending, practicing and doing the homework for those classes did she make time for paperwork, planning and business. She made more of an effort in some classes and didn't even bother doing her sewing homework but still.

She also had a very particular way of doing things.

"Just send a letter home saying you hate sewing."

"I don't want to."

"Why? It's obvious you don't value it. If something isn't valuable, get rid of it."

"It'll hurt my image."

"It's 6 hours of your time a week. That's 13 full days a year. You already take like…" he counted mentally "…10 lady classes already. Dropping one is no problem. You'll still be a good filial daughter. Your image won't be ruined. You worry too much."

"I suppose."

"Also, you have 12 hours of lady classes on Saturday. Drop one of them."

"Father is very set on me learning the koto and shamisen. Singing is my speciality and art appreciation is necessary for a lady."

"None of it is necessary."

"Image and reputation is everything to a lady."

He sighed. "Then just cut down the class time. Not every class has to be exactly three hours long."

"3 hour blocks look much nicer on the schedule."

"I don't care if it looks nice! 1 or 2 hours is still a perfectly fine amount of class time!"

"But it'll be obvious that I don't value it."

"It already is! You have 3 math classes a week and 1 flower class!"

"Flowers aren't that important."

Shikamaru sighed. "Look, you can hire and fire without your parents' permission and your teachers don't send reports back home. I don't think your parents even remember how long your classes are so cutting them won't raise an eyebrow."

In the end, he got her to cancel one of her sewing classes, reduce art appreciation to 2 hours and flowers to 1 which freed up 6 hours off her schedule. She still had 12 lady classes a week totalling 33 hours. No wonder she dazed off so much and was so tightly wound. Seriously, how much was there to learn about flowers and looking at art? He'd try shorting it again next week.

Other than convincing her to be less conscious of her image, he did menial stuff like drafting letters, cancelling classes and periodic checks on her establishments so most of his time was spent running around the village talking to people. He knew patience was a virtue and he would need it when he dealt with difficult civilian customers as a ninja but some people were just ridiculous.

"Sayuri-chan doesn't need to read!"

He crossed his arms, still in his adult henge. He'd taken to wearing it whenever he was dealing with people. "Her prospects are severely diminished if she doesn't."

"Look at her! She's a perfectly beautiful and fine girl! She doesn't need to learn that hard stuff! What she needs is a better attitude!"

He looked down at Sayuri's head, poking out from behind his leg as she clung to his trousers. "Look, lady. If you don't like her, I can find another place for her somewhere else. I can always have her transferred to a different orphanage who would be willing to let her learn." Technically true, but it would require a lot of paperwork, a few threats and some convincing.

"What are you saying? I'm only looking out for her! _You_ may be a weirdo but most men aren't like that! If Sayuri wants to get adopted, she has to quit dreaming and focus on proper studies!"

He sighed. Why couldn't she see that marriage wasn't a guarantee no matter how pretty the woman and that a backup plan was better? "I'll send over the transfer papers tomorrow. The Konoha Orphan home is a government institution. Sign them or I'll cut your funding." He couldn't actually do that, but he could get Yoshiko to stop sending money to his particular orphanage. He couldn't control the money the government sent them but he could cut food donations from other organisations. The woman did sign the papers and threw them back in his face. He didn't understand why she was so vehemently against it. Learning to read wasn't that hard or rare.

But apparently it was. It took another few weeks of dealing with the lowest class of civilians for him to fully comprehend just how different life was for them. Reading and going to school was frivolity. Food and money were constant issues and their mind set was extremely rooted. Working women were assumed to be poor women, being forced to work because their family needed extra income. The logic behind why the handler hadn't wanted Sayuri to acquire job skills was a lot easier to understand in context. Working meant Sayuri was lesser.

Stupid. Stupid, but he could see how it made sense in their heads.

All this rubbish and arguing took up a lot of time and he skipped school more days than not. Dad, taking an extremely hands-off approach and having gone through the classical Nara experience, was supportive of him finding the will to do anything. And since 95% of ninja work was dealing with civilians, travelling and filling out paperwork, Mum thought spending hours running on rooftops, talking to people and shuffling through a ridiculous number of official documents was better practice than sitting in class. As long as he kept up his physical practice, came in on test days and got above 90%, they were fine with it.

"There's a test on Tuesday," Chouji said as he handed Shikamaru his notes and a summary of the week's lessons.

Shikamaru grabbed them and instinctively begun to scan them. "Thank you."

"…"

"…"

"… Shikamaru, how are things going?"

Eyes still on the paper, Shikamaru nodded. "Fine. Troublesome. Useful."

"…"

"…"

"… Are you busy, Shikamaru?"

"… Yes."

It was a half-lie. He was busy, but he could certainly afford to come over more than once a week. He just found scouring the village and newspapers for opportunities and putting together business proposals far more interesting. He still enjoyed Chouji's company, it was just…

His world looked very different now.


	7. Chapter 7

Sayuri sat next to him, sucking on an ice lolly.

"Nara-sensei?"

"What is it?"

"Will I have parents?"

"Why do you ask?"

"They said that if I went with you, I wouldn't get parents because no one will want me."

"You have your friends in my class and you have me. That's fine."

"So are you my papa?"

"Not really… but…" He looked down at her wide eyes and sighed. "If you want."

"Yes!" She cried, wiggling her body side to side and doing a fist-pump. "I knew it!"

"You knew it?"

"You teach me and buy me ice cream and take me on walks and carry me which means you're my papa," she stated confidently.

"Is that so?"

"Yes! Kazuto-kun loses and I win!"

"I see. Are you excited for school?"

"Yes! I'm going to beat everyone!"

He nodded. "Good. That's the attitude you should have."

* * *

It was the middle of March when he finally met Yoshiko's parents.

"Happy birthday!"

Yoshiko bowed politely and accepted the gift. "Thank you."

It wasn't really her birthday. Or it probably wasn't. Being an orphan, no one really knew when her birthday was. Her parents had decided that her adoption day would be her birthday and apparently her birthday required a week-long banquet. He wondered if all birthdays need that. If her parents and sister all needed a week to celebrate their birthday, that was a month a year just celebrating birthdays. Yoshiko had heavily hinted that he may want to attend so he'd reluctantly agreed to come on the last two days.

He walked up to her. "Happy birthday," he drawled.

Yoshiko smiled. "Thank you. You look splendid."

"Shut up. Formal wear is stuffy."

"You look very smart."

He raised an eyebrow.

She let out an amused breath and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You look like a grumpy little porcupine who wants to curl up into a ball and die."

"And you look the same as usual. Just with more gold and ten times as much jewellery."

"You exaggerate." She squeezed his shoulder. When he didn't respond, her hand moved down his arm and squeezed his biceps. He sighed and offered his arm, allowing her to hook hers around his. She then begun to wrangle him over to the main table.

"Father, Mother, this Nara Shikamaru, heir to the Nara Clan. Nara-san, this the Head of the Ikeda Clan and his wife, Ikeda Osaaki and Ikeda Atsuko."

Everyone bowed to each other. "Nice to meet you," Shikamaru said.

"I'm glad my daughter has found some friends," her father said. "I was afraid she was too serious to make friends her age."

"She is. I've gotten 12 hours off her weekly schedule so she has more time to have fun." Half-lie. Getting 12 hours of lessons just meant she spend 12 hours on work now which he supposed was her fun.

"Is she that busy?" Her mother asked.

"Yes," he replied. "She had 60 hours of lessons a week before I convinced her to cancel some."

Yoshiko dug her nails into his arm but the damage was done. Her mother looked horrified. "You didn't tell me that!"

Yoshiko bowed her head. "My knowledge is extremely deficient compared to ladies of my peer due to my birth. I must make up for it by working twice as hard."

Her mother shook her head. "It's fine! You're already good enough for me and your father." She turned to look at her husband. "Isn't that right?"

Her father seemed to struggle for a second. "Well, your mother and I really appreciate your effort but you've already surpassed the minimum of what is expected of a lady." Her father's mouth soured. "Which is more than can be said for some ladies. You are my daughter. You will worry for nothing. We will make sure you take your place in court when the time is appropriate and we will find you an honourable and well-bred gentleman to wed. Your future is set and secure. As long as you don't slack, there is no problem with taking a break."

"I will make sure to continue working hard," she said.

Shikamaru sighed. "I will make sure she takes breaks. She hates sewing. She already knows how to make a dress so can she drop that?"

Yoshiko relaxed her nails and started smoothing his red skin as her father considered. "As long as her teacher approves."

"Her teacher has financial interest in expressing disapproval," Shikamaru countered. "Your wife should have a good knowledge of such things. How about she take a look at Yoshi- Ikeda-san's work?"

Her father twitched and looked down at him sharply even as his wife clapped her hands together and smiled. "That sounds good! I want to look at Yoshiko's work!"

"Her painting is impressive as well," Shikamaru continued. "They all look good enough to hang and she's running out of wall space. I think she's painted enough to impress a life time."

Her mother nodded. "Yoshiko has already been good at it. I still have the painting she gave me when we first met! I don't really think she needs classes, right, Papa?"

Her father nodded, seemingly indifferent. "Yes. If you run out of space, just send some over. We'll put it up on the walls."

Yoshiko nodded. "Thank you."

Her father swerved his attention onto Shikamaru. "The Nara are certainly an important clan in Konoha. Its heir must be impressive."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Not particularly. Other than convince Yoshi-" He sighed, scratching his head. "Other than convince Ikeda-san that there are more efficient ways of doing things, I haven't really done much."

He could tell her parents were somewhat taken aback at his response and Yoshiko reburied her nails into his arm. Shikamaru re-examined what he just said. There was nothing wrong with it but in these circles, he was probably just supposed to nod. But Yoshiko always lowered herself, right? What was wrong with him doing that?

Yoshiko smiled. "Nara-san is very humble. Thank you for receiving our greetings. I should introduce him to big sister now."

The moment her mother voiced her agreement, Yoshiko tugged him away from her parents, slowly removing her nails from his arm when they were a safe distance away. He pulled his arm away from her and rolled up his sleeve to check his arm. Two of her nails had broken skin.

"We should come up with a better communication system," he commented.

"I'll leave that to you."

He slid his sleeve back down. "In the meantime, don't press them so hard. I can take it but it still hurts."

"I was afraid you were going to get my math classes cancelled."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Do you think I'm dumb? There's no way in hell I'm touching that."

"Don't touch calligraphy. That's the most important 'lady class', as you like to put it."

"Why? It isn't particularly lady-like."

"Having a high writing level is very important. Don't touch it."

"Fine, fine. But you are cutting painting and sewing. Dance can be shortened."

She didn't reply, merely re-hooking her arm around him and dragging him away. "Take refuge with my sister."

"Why?"

"You'll see," was the vague answer she got as she hunted her sister who was sulking with a glass of sake in a corner table.

She bowed her head to her sister. "My honourable big sister, this is Nara Shikamaru, heir to the Nara Clan. Nara-san, this the first daughter to the Head of the Ikeda Clan, Ikeda Mika."

Her sister slowly stood up and returned his bow. "Nice to meet you."

Shikamaru returned the empty greeting. "Nice to meet you. I'm curious to meet Yoshi-" Nail dig. "Ikeda-san's sister."

Mika swerved her eyes between the two of them. "You're friends?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I guess. She's technically my boss but she doesn't mind if I smack her over the head a few times."

Mika gaped. "You'd hit her?!"

Yoshiko's nails were intent on slicing his arm open. "Ninja have a very different way of showing friendly affection," she said pleasantly. "I know a ninja who greets his friends by trying to kick their heads."

"…"

Yoshiko bowed her head. "It seems as if the two of you have something to talk about. I shall attend to the other guests."

Just like that, Yoshiko slipped out of his arms and glided over to the nearest group of guests. Mika and Shikamaru looked at each other for a few moments before Mika sat down and Shikamaru sat opposite her. Mika sipped her sake, periodically glancing at him while he tried desperately to stay awake.

"What's being a ninja like?"

Shikamaru jolted at the sudden question. Crap. He couldn't fall asleep. "I'm not a ninja yet."

"But you know what it's like, right?"

"Depends on what field you go into. If you're a bodyguard, you mostly just wait around. If you're an escort, you get to travel everywhere at a snail's pace. If you're an assassin, you gather information, plan and wait for the right moment. If you're a tracker, you can go in circles or have to travel harsh terrain to get your target."

"Isn't it exciting?"

"Not really. You get a lot of paperwork and unreasonable customers. Even combat-focused ninja spend an inordinate amount of time travelling and waiting."

"But it's an honourable job, isn't it?"

"Most of the time. Sometimes you get the wrong guy."

"You are… not very sunny."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Someone has to counter her optimism."

"You call her by given name."

"Not uncommon in Konoha. It's like a different world here."

Mika's face was flushed with alcohol. "Is that so? I want to go there."

"Why?"

She shrugged.

"…"

"… Do you like Yoshiko?"

"I guess."

"Why?"

"She's smart."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What does she do?"

"Lessons, business, charity."

"I can do that."

"I don't know you."

" _I can_ ," she insisted.

"Then why don't you?"

"…"

"…"

"… I don't want to."

"What do you like?"

"… I don't know."

"…"

"What about you? What do you like?"

"… I don't know."

Mika drank more sake and flagged a servant down to get her more. "Being smart is useless. If you want to succeed, you have to be like Yoshiko. Beautiful. Quiet. Graceful. She always has just the right words to say." She drank the rest of her sake. "Do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Drunk, disoriented and depressed is typically not a nice look."

She snorted. "You're rude."

"I'm restraining myself. It's compromise."

"Why does she keep someone like you around?"

"… In all honesty, I don't know."

Mika seemed to take this as a joke and laughed. "Do you really hit her?"

"It was figurative. But she does do some stupid things sometimes."

"Stupid things? Like what?"

"Not exactly stupid but she's still human. She's not perfectly rational or efficient. It took a while to convince her to hire a lawyer instead of trying to untangle Fire's law code herself."

Mika rolled her eyes. "That's stupid. What, does she think she can be a lawyer?"

"She could be."

"Why does everyone think she's so great? There are a million other girls just like her. She has no personality. She's a little doll."

"That's the most amazing thing about her."

"What?"

"None of you really know anything about her, do you?"

"I know what I need to know. You seem to be pretty taken with her."

"I don't really know that much about her."

"Then?"

"Having perfect manners and a pretty face is not so much a personality trait as it is a tactic. Being liked by everyone is not a natural thing. It's a skill. Take Hokage-sama as an example. She's on good terms with him through one of his soft spots. If the VIPs here don't like personality, then she will display no personality."

The new bottle of sake arrived. Mika's hands shook as she tried to pour it into the small cup before she gave up and decided to use the soup bowl as her cup. "Aren't you reading too much into it? If she's all for the children and doesn't do anything wrong, no one is going to say they don't like her even if they do. She's a main house Ikeda who was born a peasant. She has a lot of people who don't like her. Lots of people also don't really like the clan. Besides, she's boring to talk to. She refuses to say anything even a bit controversial. She has no guts."

"You don't have much interest in talking to her."

"Why would I?"

"She's your sister."

"Not my real sister. She just got lucky and stole the name."

"I think I remember something about you being adopted."

Mika quickly gulped her alcohol to glare at him. "I'm a proper lady."

Shikamaru pointedly glanced at the bottle and bowl full of alcohol.

Mika's face turned inwards on itself and she stood up and threw the bowl at him. The bowl shattered on the floor, spilling the liquid all over the carpet and drawing the attention of everyone nearby. He easily got out of his seat and dodged, not a drop of sake hitting him.

"You're just like everyone else!" She screamed, speech slurred and sake dripping from her fingers and lower dress. "You look down on me! You don't care about me! No one cares about me!"

She turned to stomp away only to trip and fall. Shikamaru sighed, walked over and roughly hulled her up.

"No one has to care about you, Mika," he whispered to her. "No one has to care about anyone. If that's what you want, you have to _make_ them care."

* * *

 _It hurts._

 _It hurts._

 _It hurts._

Mika awoke for the fifth time but this time, her body refused to go back to sleep. She glanced at the clock. How long had she been drifting for? 28 hours? No one had tried to wake her up. She rolled to the side but her head and eyes pulsed with pain. She wanted to sleep.

She wanted to sleep.

" _What is the meaning of this?! This is your sister's birthday and you tried to attack her friend! I even allowed you to drink after all your childish whining and this is what you give me?! I told you to stay in the corner and shut up and you can't even do that! You are a disgrace to our clan! If you weren't Shigeo's daughter, I would've kicked you out a long time ago! Go to your room and do not come out until I tell you so!"_

She wanted to sleep forever.

She missed her family.

* * *

"Your people finding abilities are something," Shikamaru said as he shuffled through the papers. "Every random staff member that you've picked off the street has performed exceptionally well after some training."

"I picked up quite a few people from the capital last year. It's bearing fruit."

"On your vacation?"

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity, could I?"

"Anyway, your marketing team is amazing. I didn't know things could be marked up so much."

"It's all in the packaging and branding. I've seen how my mother shops. She doesn't look at the price tag. There are already so many zeros. Add one or two behind and most don't notice. Many of these people will buy anything that looks expensive and nice, wear it once and then forget about it. The restaurants carry themselves by being 'exotic'. They'll drop a lot of money for a unique experience."

"That's good but there aren't a lot of people that rich. How about something more large scale? Your biscuits are easy to make and tasty. Open a cookie and sweets shop. Everyone likes those and you can expand much more easily. It's hard to find chefs skilled enough for your current restaurants and the contracts and seals you put them under to prevent recipe theft is very off-putting. You can have cheaper biscuits and more expensive ones to cater to different people."

"Then, we'll do that. I don't have that many sweets recipes but I can do that. It's not hard to compete with the local sweets."

"You always complain about the local food."

"Hmm."

"You also waste a lot of time. You don't have to meet and interview every single one of your employees."

"I want to see their talents."

"Then do it once a month with all employees you haven't met. It doesn't take much time, right? You don't have to book 30-minute time slot in your schedule and spend 29 minutes doing pleasantries before getting to the point."

"Fine. I'll invite them for lunch every month."

"You don't even need to do that. You're the boss. Just say you want to meet them, meet them and send them away."

"It seems rude to get them to come so I can lay eyes on them for a minute. Besides, treating them nice and courteously is a good way to inspire loyalty."

"Fine, fine." He put down the files. "You know, I thought you'd be more rational about some things."

"I'm rational. I just don't prioritise efficiency over all else."

"You care too much about what everyone thinks."

"I have to. I'm here at the mercy of my father."

He roved his eyes over her straight back, made-up face and dainty hands. "… Do you love them? Your adoptive parents."

"They're not bad people."

"… Troublesome."

"I can't help it. Love isn't something that can be owed. No matter how much you force it sometimes… love just doesn't come."

"Is there anyone you love in this world?"

"…I think I'll try my hand at caramel pudding."

"What?"

"Caramel pudding. It's a sweet."

"… I see."

* * *

It was around 10.30pm when Naruto finally collapsed from exhaustion and Gai had to carry him back to his home. He opened the door to Naruto's apartment to find the lights on and a woman cleaning the room.

She looked up and tossed the cloth aside, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she walked forward to gather Naruto in her arms. "You are Naruto-kun's sensei."

"Yes. I am Maito Gai, a jounin. You are?"

"Sachiko. Ikeda-sama's servant."

"Why are you here?"

"Ikeda-sama sent me to make sure Naruto-kun is alright." Sachiko looked up at him accusingly.

"Sorry. But Naruto did well today."

"Training until he faints can't be healthy for a growing boy."

"Naruto is strong. He'll be fine."

"This has nothing to do with strength! He's too thin."

"I'll make sure he gets proper meals. My student's health is very important." He tried to flash a smile at her but the glare he got back dissuaded him.

"I assume you're not the lazy one?"

"My rival may seem like that but he's really trying hard."

"Your rival?"

"Yes. We go back."

The air tingled as it grew colder and sharper. "You're friends? Close friends? Naruto-kun really likes you so I'd hoped you weren't a good-for-nothing."

"Good-for-nothing is going a little too far-"

"What else would you call a man who shows up at least 2 hours late to everything and reads degenerate 'books' around children?"

"Well, he's not good with children and Naruto is a bit… difficult for him-"

"So it's Naruto-kun's fault now? He's an adult and a teacher! He has a duty to lead by example and teach the children around him what is acceptable! Not reading porn in public and being punctual are common human decencies that shouldn't need to be explained! What if Naruto-kun learns from him? How is he going to take responsibility if Naruto-kun's reputation is ruined? As it stands, he's leading by bad example! If I'm not around to tell him not to follow that deadbeat of a man, who knows what Naruto-kun would've picked up?"

"He's been through a lot. He puts up a persona. It may not look like it but he's suffering so-"

"So what? I don't care. I don't care about him. He's an adult. He should've had all of this sorted out. I care about the children. I care about Naruto-kun. No matter what he's been through, he shouldn't push it onto his students! It's not fair to Naruto-kun! If he can't be a good role model then he shouldn't be around children! The adults around someone's childhood is one of the most important things in their development!"

"You're being very harsh on him."

She walked forward, pulled Naruto away from him and half-dragged him to the bath. Gai would've offered to help but he knew it'd make things worse. "I'm not harsh. You are too soft. That's why that piece of garbage turned out the way he did. If someone had taught him right from wrong as a kid, he won't be that way."

"Kakashi… had no parents."

She paused in her dragging. "Then he should feel their importance the most."

"I don't know if he does. Kakashi has always been alone."

"Always? How long have you been 'rivals'?"

"… A long time."

Sachiko scoffed. "Then instead of defending him, fix him. You're his friend, aren't you?"

* * *

"Kakashi."

Kakashi looked up from his book to see Gai uncharacteristically serious. "What happened?"

Gai hesitated for a moment- _hesitated?_ "Come with me."

Half expecting this Gai to be a poorly done disguise, Kakashi followed Gai to a remote training ground.

"I booked it," Gai explained. "No one will come."

"What is this about?"

"… I haven't been a very good friend."

"What are you talking about? You're always there when you can."

"Are you coping well?"

"I'm fine. Is that all?"

"Kakashi. I've been given off for a long time. If you try to run, I will find you and I will never give up."

"… I don't doubt it."

"Kakashi. Are you really fine?"

"… As fine as can be expected. I don't know what Hokage-sama was thinking."

"Naruto-kun is nothing like his father."

"Looks like his father, acts like his mother. I know. I figured that out. It doesn't help."

"I can ask the Yamanaka-"

" **No.** "

"Kakashi."

"No."

"You can't continue like that."

"I can."

"You're smarter than this, Kakashi."

"…"

"I don't know what to do. You don't know what to do. We should get someone who may know."

"Anything but the Yamanaka."

"They are experts for that reason."

"… You know why I can't."

"Hokage-sama will make an exception."

"I don't want to be an exception."

"You already are. He gave you Naruto."

"… Everyone else is dealing with it alone. Why can't I…"

Gai stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "They are not alone. No one is alone. Maybe I can't solve everything. Maybe I can't make you better. But I want to make you feel better."

"…"

"I'll be back tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and the day after that and I'll be back stronger and brighter every day. I won't give up on you, Kakashi. You are worth fighting for."

* * *

 _In the Country of Meadows_

Hitoshi opened the door to see the King of Drugs, Killer of Cholera, Shadow Ruler of Meadows and Saviour of Waterfall bawling his eyes out while carelessly waving a bottle of sake back and forth as he hugged and babbled to his golden retriever. Cocaine and heroin in its various forms were dumped carelessly on the ground. He was going to die of an overdose any day now and everyone would be glad of it.

"Reo-sama?"

Leo looked up. "Hiiiiiitoooooshiiiiiiiiii," he wailed. "Princess told me she hates me!"

"She always does that."

"But I think she really, really hates me!"

"You… didn't realise? She's tried to kill you at least 20 times!"

"But that's just how things go sometimes right? You get into a bit of a spat, you fight and then you make up! We always make up!" He sniffled. "But she told me she hates me and never wants to see me."

"She always says that. What's different?"

"She deleted me from her friends list!"

He had no idea what the friends list was and Leo's explanation of it was always nonsensical but Hitoshi knew enough to know that it was very important and powerful. "Then, make up."

"What do I do?"

"What did you do?"

"I killed Mohamed."

"Who?"

"The boyfriend."

Hitoshi let out a long, growling sound of exasperation and frustration. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"I wanted her back and I thought that would speed things up! I didn't think she'd be that mad!"

"You killed her boyfriend! Of course she's upset, you fucking psychopath! Why didn't you consult me _before_ you did something like that? I would've told you not to do it!"

"I didn't think it was that big a deal…" he mumbled. "Mi alma agrees, right?" The golden retriever perked up at the mention of its name and Leo smother its face with kisses.

"Aruma is a dog. He doesn't know anything."

"Alma is my beautiful baby _girl_."

"That's not important!" Hitoshi sighed. "Can you resurrect the dead boyfriend?"

"Impossible. I don't have his DNA."

"Why didn't you collect it?"

"Collecting it is impossible!"

"How? If you can kill him, you can take a sample from his body!"

"The body disappears!"

"What? What jutsu did you use?"

"That's just how things are."

He hated his boss sometimes. He _detested_ his boss, always. "I heard that she is doing huge trade deals with the Fire Daimyo over food. You have so much money you don't know what to do with it. I'm sure you can find a way to help her."

"Huge trade deals? Hmm…" Leo put down the bottle and snuggled further into Alma. "Maybe… no… that won't do… hmm…"

"She has a lot of deals that involve running a huge trade deficit. You could-" Leo perked up. "-lend at a very low-"

Leo jumped up. "That's it! You're a genius, Hito-chan! I'll pay off the national debt of Waterfall!"

"Wh-what?! No! Lending should be enough to-"

Leo turned around and scooped Alma up, twirling around the room and occasionally planting a kiss on its belly. The retriever looked squished and unsure of whether to escape. "Do I have money to pay off the debt?"

"… Most of it if we leave the personal stash untouched-"

"Great! Let's do that!" Leo looked down lovingly at Alma. "Don't worry, Papa will always love you! You'll always love me too, right?" Leo put on a more squeaky voice. "Yes, Papa, Alma always loves you! Now, feed me!" Leo's voice returned back to normal as he kissed Alma's face. "I love you too, my sweet little girl. We will be together forever! Nothing can make me hate you! Come on, let's go get lunch!"

"… … … … …" Hitoshi sighed. "Fine, fine. She had better forgive you."


	8. Chapter 8

"Daimyo-sama?"

Princess looked up to see her court lady. "What is it?"

The court lady flinched at her harsh tone. "No, it's just… you've been very upset ever since you got that letter."

Bloodlust rolled off the Daimyo. It sought out the corners of the room and filled the space with black fury. Thorns of murder lust sliced her skin, burrowing it deep within her bones and stabbing its way to her heart. The court lady started hyperventilating, trying to remember her kunoichi training but the fear management classes seemed like such a distant memory. She tried to swallow the bile that shot up her throat but her muscles were frozen and they refused to move. Just as the acid spilled out of her mouth, the lust rescinded and Princess looked down at the lady with disdain.

"You're new."

She hurriedly swallowed her vomit to reply. "Y-Yes. I was appointed to serve you just three days ago."

"Leave. Get me someone who can take it. Also, you're fired."

The court lady fled the room. "Arakawa-sama! The Daimyo- he-"

Shiori sighed. "Go."

Shiori opened the door and was blasted with killing intent. She sighed, stepped in and closed the door behind her. "Purinsesu-sama. What happened?" She got a growl in return. "Is it him again?"

Princess slumped over on her desk. "The stupid fucking bastard wants to get back together again."

"What did he offer?"

"He'll clear around 80% of our national debt."

"…"

"I know."

"… You still haven't found Muhanmado-sama?"

"He's dead. There's no point."

"Reonarudo-sama may have kidnapped and tortured him."

"No. Mohamed is dead." A new wave of bloodlust radiated out from the hunched over figure. "I want to kill Leonardo." She looked up at Shiori. "I want to kill."

"If everyone traded a life for another, the world would be dead."

"Don't patronise me. I _know_ that."

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

Princess sighed. "I will be leaving soon."

"I understand."

"You may leave."

"…"

"What is it?"

"What does Reonarudo-sama want?"

"Got cotton in your ears? I just told you."

"He offered to pay the national debt. He can't possibly just want to 'get back together' and then break up in a few months to a year. If he wants more… he's a man. Marriage is impossible."

Princess snorted. "Marriage? Leo? Are you crazy?"

"Why else would a man put up such an extravagant measure?"

"You haven't met him. Don't you go telling me how he would react."

"Perhaps it is time some of us meet him."

"Oh yes, let me just invite the ficklest, most internationally-wanted S-class ninja into my country. What could go wrong?"

"Forgive my ignorance but what is there in such a man?"

"Don't get the wrong idea. Just because I tolerate, understand and trade with him doesn't mean I actually like him. He gets me very nice gifts."

"A little too nice for a casual, fragmented relationship."

Princess stood up, walked over to Shiori and punched her in the face, smashing her nose and causing her to slam and bounce off the door onto the floor. Blood poured out of Shiori's nose, staining the fluffy white carpet. Princess walked forward, wiped her fist on Shiori's dress, then walked back and sat behind her desk.

"Do not speak so confidently of things you know nothing about. To Leo, it isn't that big of a deal. He probably came up with it while high and drunk in his puppy room. Now get someone to clean up the mess and leave."

* * *

Hinata peeked around the corner of the building. Nowadays, Naruto always got whisked away by a man with the most… amazing eyebrows and green jumpsuit so she hadn't seen him around… She missed-

Hinata blushed and slapped her cheeks. What was she talking about? She got to see Naruto-kun every day! It's just- She really liked their after-school time together. Not that it was really together. She mostly just watched him from afar for the 15 minutes she had before she was called away. She didn't dare approach him but he always looked so sad… But he wasn't sad now. That was… that was good. She should be happier for him.

She shook her head. This was her chance! She shouldn't be fretting about like that. She moved to peek around the corner again before thinking better of it and activating her byakugan instead. She couldn't see his brilliant blond hair this way but she could marvel at his chakra that shone like the beacon of light that he was. It was always so cheerful and bright yet _intense_ and strong. She'd been sure if he just studied harder and had better teachers he would be very strong. And she'd been right! Naruto-kun could defeat everyone in class! She was tempted to give him some tips but she was afraid she'd get something wrong or say the wrong thing so she just watched him train.

He ran through some kata, his movements a lot more smooth and fluid than before. He was really improving! His hard work was paying off! Naruto ran through a bunch of seals and she looked on curiously. It was a new jutsu, she wondered what he had learned-

 **LIGHT. BLINDING. SEARING.**

" **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

* * *

 _Yoshiko's secondary residence_

"Meal Set C today," Yoshiko said to Sachiko. Sachiko nodded and Shikamaru watched as she scuttled to the kitchen.

"You take Meal C when you're going to deal with difficult people."

"I guess you could say that."

"You know this is your fault, right? If you'd sent a letter asking your sister to be sent to a shrine, there's at least a 50% chance she won't be coming here."

"I can't do that. It would look like I don't want her around."

"No one wants her around."

Yoshiko sighed. "There are upsides. I'm fairly well-established here. After that fundraiser I threw and the exclusive shops I've opened in my name, most of the upper-class have at least heard of my name and good reputation. For good or for worse, my big sister is much flashier than me so she would make her splash. Next to my big sister, my attitude and work would stand out more. I'm sure most of the ninja nobility can sympathise with having to figuratively clean up after someone else. 'Poor girl,' they'd think. 'Why can't her sister be more like her?' I'm sure the tabloids would jump on contrasting our behaviours and birth stations. In doing so, they would undoubtedly mention my good work, which would hopefully draw more donors during the next round of fundraisers."

"It's amazing how you can put a positive spin on everything and make it seem like it's benefitting you and 'all according to plan'."

"Unexpected things happen all the time. Well, I expected them to kick her out sometime but not to Konoha. My point is, you have to use what you can get."

"Even your sister?"

Yoshiko turned to Shikamaru. "Won't you?"

"… I don't have siblings."

"You use Chouji-kun for academy information, notes and warnings about test days. Do you even hang out with him outside of that?"

"…"

"We all use each other. For companionship, for love, for connections. There is no reason for two people to be friends if one party doesn't gain anything." Yoshiko checked under her nails and picked a speck of dirt out from under it. "Take the Saturday off."

The two of them ate lunch quietly with Shikamaru reviewing papers and Yoshiko reading a poetry book. Mika made her entrance 2 hours later, complained about the house being too small and left for the main residence which she also found unsatisfactory. Shikamaru heard from Sachiko who heard from Mika's maid that she threw a tantrum after her request for a new house was denied. Which was fine, Shikamaru didn't really care, but then Mika started coming over to have her tantrums. Why she couldn't have her hissy fits alone in her room was beyond him. Yoshiko was usually out for meetings but if she was home, she'd push some money into his hand and flee to her room, pretending she wasn't in so it was _his_ job to listen to her. Yoshiko even created an official job description just to add 'dealing with family members upon request' to the list of things he had to do.

Serves him right for convincing Yoshiko to hire mail boys to deliver information. Now he had limited excuses for being outside the office.

"-they'd give anything to Yoshiko but not me. It's not fair! I was here first and I have proper upbringing! She likes to hang around the poor people and give away money! A proper lady won't concern herself with those sorts of things but just because she can smile prettily and say nice words, everyone likes her! It's like they forget who she really is and where she's from. You're an heir so you should understand. How would you feel if your parents randomly brought home a sad, homeless mutt and started treating it like a princess and giving it all of the love and care that belongs to you?"

Shikamaru, sat cross-legged on a cushion, took a sip of tea and turned over the page. "Un."

"Are you even listening?"

"Un."

Mika stomped over and made a swipe for the book. Shikamaru relaxed his muscles and his back fell backwards to the floor, dodging her.

"You're such a rude little brat! How are you the heir to the Nara Clan? I will tell your parents about your impudent behaviour!"

"Un."

"Don't test me! I will really do it!"

"Hmm."

This conversation happened around five more times before Mika actually visited his home to 'voice her complaints' to his mother. She came back to him the next day rather disgruntled.

Mika crossed her arms and glowered at him. "You're lucky you're the only son."

He wasn't sure what went down between Mika and his mother but he'd bet three months of salary that didn't go well for Mika. How was the girl already 15 but still acted like a little child?

"Hmm."

"Your parents spoil you too much."

"Un." He supposed she'd been shielded her whole life. She didn't grow up because she had no particular reason to. Her birth parents never equipped her with life skills because they assumed she didn't need them. But she should have the social acumen to figure out she wasn't wanted, right?

"You're such a child," she spat.

At this, Shikamaru couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing.

"What?" She said, face turning red. "Shut up! Stop laughing!"

Shikamaru tried to stop but that only resulted in him swallowing air and coughing while trying to laugh.

"You are unbelievable!" She shrieked.

For some reason, her shrill voice reignited his laughter and he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach while Mika worked herself back up to a rage. 20 minutes later, Sachiko came in to see Mika hurling everything she could get her hands on at Shikamaru while he easily dodged and caught everything she threw, voice choked from laughter. Sachiko blinked, left the biscuits and tea by the door, then shut it firmly.

Eventually, Shikamaru managed to secure all potential projectiles on his corner of the room to prevent further destruction and Mika was left, panting and red-faced as her legs gave way and dropped to the floor.

"Why…" she panted. "Why… are you laughing at me?"

"Because you're a laughing stock."

Instead of stomping over to scold him, Mika broke into tears. "Why are you laughing me? Why does everyone laugh at me? I hate you! I hate everyone!"

Shikamaru sighed. He hated crying girls so much more than angry, fire-spitting girls. "If everyone hates you, at some point, you have to ask yourself if you're the one who's wrong."

"It's not my fault that Papa and Mama died!"

"I work with orphans every day. Not even the 7-year-olds are as ill-mannered as you. At the very least, they know not to wreak someone else's house and throw things at people they don't like."

"Don't compare me to _them!_ "

"… I see. Your blood status is really all you have. That's why you cling to it so much."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! I am the daughter of- I am- I am…"

"And what else?"

She sputtered for a moment and got up indignantly. "I'm not taking this anymore! I'm writing to my parents!"

"And what would that accomplish?"

"I am a daughter- I am a daughter of the Ikeda Clan! I will not be insulted like this!"

"Which means all your power is dependent on your standing with your father and your clan. Which means you have no power. Shout all you want. If you have no power, no one has to care."

"You won't be so cocky when my family talks to your parents!"

"Go on. Write your letter. I'll tell them you trashed Yoshiko's house. We'll see who they believe."

Mika stormed out after that and she never came over again… that was the wish anyway. She came crawling back three weeks later.

"Do you have nothing better to do?" He asked.

"Shut up," she hissed. "I don't want to talk to you. Where's Yoshiko?"

"Out."

"What's she always doing out there?"

"Work."

Mika rolled her eyes. "Right. She's probably partying and attending events _which she doesn't invite me to_. I'm the older sister. They should send me the invitation first."

"You want to attend fundraiser campaigns and spend 4 hours trying to convince cynical old men to part with their money?"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not dumb. I've heard that she's a regular at all the fancy events."

"If by fancy events you mean smiling, making small talk and trying to gain connections, yes."

"You just love to make everything sound so negative. You get to meet important men at those events. I'll find myself a proper gentleman and get out of this ridiculous situation." Mika looked down at him. "She's probably doing the same thing and someone like you doesn't stand a chance."

Shikamaru's nose twitched at the thought. "That would the most troublesome thing in the world. I want someone kind, quiet and loyal with moderate intelligence and nothing more."

"You just described Yoshiko."

"Well, I suppose that's how most people think of her. Her instincts are pretty weird to everyone though."

"Her what?"

"… Virtually everyone knows of her weird 'instincts'. She displays it at every opportunity. How do you not know?"

"You are always like that. You are-"

"What did you come here for?"

"I want to see Yoshiko!"

"Why?"

"None of your business!"

"As her personal assistant and general life manager, her business is my business. Unless you need love or other girly advice, any business you have with her passes through me."

"Are you her gatekeeper?"

"Essentially. Yoshiko isn't very good at calling bullshit bullshit no matter how hard it reeks, you see. So she ends up wasting a lot of time entertaining dumb, self-important people and having lengthy conversations that really only take a minute. I don't care about that nonsense."

"So you're basically hired to insult people? I can see how you got the job."

"Compromises have to be made. Yoshiko would really hate it if I pissed off anyone important."

"I hate you!"

"Well, thank you. So? What's your business?"

"Hmph! I want a loan."

"… For what? Are you starting a business?"

"Father is so stingy. He barely gave me any money."

"… And how long was the money he gave you supposed to last?"

"What does it matter?"

"This is a trivial matter so you will be dealing with me."

"Trivial matter?! This is my life we're talking about! What if I run out of money for clothes and food?"

"Exactly. At best, it's a matter of one life. She's off doing work to benefit many more. If you run out of money you could just sell the dress and all the jewellery you're wearing now so it's not like your life is at stake. Do you know how many people she can feed with that dress?"

"I am her sister. She should care more about me than all those other people."

"On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love Yoshiko?"

"Shut up. I want to see Yoshiko."

"She's not in."

"When will she be in?"

"I can't say."

"Around what time?"

"Can't say."

"Why not?!"

"Getting a hold of a person's schedule is amazingly valuable information and I've been entrusted with it. I can't very well betray that."

"It's just a schedule."

"That is civilian thinking. To a ninja, it's a goldmine. It's a matter of security so I can't say anything."

"What utter nonsense!"

"Doesn't matter. I'm getting paid for this so I have to do my job."

"Then I'm waiting here until she appears!"

"That would be troublesome. I can't have you trash the place in case a guest arrives."

"I can sit quietly, you impudent little cretin!"

"Like you did at Yoshiko's birthday?"

"Shut up! I am staying and you can't make me leave!"

"I can. I have a legal right to evict trespassers."

"You _won't_."

"Try me. I will carry you out and dump you on the street."

Mika did try and Shikamaru did dump her onto the street while she wiggled and shrieked.

The next morning, an Uchiha officer knocked on his door during breakfast.

"Shikamaru!" His mother called.

"What?"

"He says you assaulted the Mika girl."

Shikamaru groaned.

* * *

"As you can see, officer. This is a misunderstanding." Yoshiko said, smiling pleasantly.

Shikamaru snorted. "Misunderstanding? She-"

"Nara-san. You will keep your silence." She turned back to the officer. "I may sleep there, but the property is primarily a workplace and my honourable big sister didn't realise that. My employee, as per my official instructions, removed her from the premises as she had no formal business. As she resisted, more physical means were required. My honourable big sister is new and rather unfamiliar with ninja and the amount of force they traditionally use compared to ordinary security guards. As such, she felt the amount of force used by my employee was excessive."

The officer clearly thought the whole thing was bullshit as well so Yoshiko's 'interpretation' of the event was quickly adopted as the official version and they were allowed to leave.

As they were leaving the police station, Yoshiko's polite smile faded. "I expected better from you."

"It's her fault-"

"It doesn't matter," she cut off, tone sharp and hard. "She is not a hard opponent. You should not have failed so spectacularly that you end up in the police station. You've damaged both our reputations by wasting their time."

"Her reputation also took a big hit."

"It. Doesn't. Matter. Your goal is to win, not for her to lose. Her outcome is irrelevant to yours. You always seem to forget that. You didn't think she'd call the police, did you? You got carried away with your emotions and underestimated her. You will not do this again and you will conduct yourself in a civil manner during working hours. I am docking your pay for this."

"…" She was right, Yoshiko always made sure she was on the right side of the fence, but it was still infuriating that he'd have to treat Mika politely when she was such a rude brat. Even though human relations was a huge part of his job description, he usually dealt with powerless people far below him on the social ladder and the equals he did deal with were usually reasonable, competent and polite. He didn't deal with irrational people he couldn't hit back in some way. He didn't understand how Yoshiko could just nod, smile and bow to complete idiots. Especially Mika. Didn't it grate Yoshiko at all that Mika was her superior?

They walked out of the Uchiha compound, passing by the Uchiha heir and Sasuke. Yoshiko paused for a moment, eyes wide.

"What is it?" He asked.

She stared for a few more seconds, enough for the Uchiha heir to turn behind to look at her. They locked eyes for a few seconds before Yoshiko shook her head and continued walking forward.

" _Kusoge,_ " she muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"No, it's nothing. It's just that… all men are born unequal."

"What are his numbers like?"

"I don't even want to talk about it."

They reached home in silence, Shikamaru unsure of what to say.

"Are you angry?"

"No. I'm just very disappointed."

"You're angry."

"…"

"Aren't you ever… bothered?"

"About what?"

"How some people act just cause they got lucky. Like your sister. She's done nothing to deserve her wealth or status but she acts superior and doesn't care about those who are less fortunate."

"Rich people can't help being born rich any more than poor people can help being born poor. Some of them don't like that it's just luck so they try and justify it. 'I have noble blood, I'm a superior race, the gods favour me', so on. My honourable big sister is one of those people, desperate to attach some meaning and worth to a life without immediately obvious problems and purpose. She's a product of her environment."

"She's 15."

"Civilians don't grow up as fast as ninja. Especially rich civilians. I've seen plenty of immature people in their 20s. 15 is not so old."

"You can't blame everything on the environment. I doubt she'll grow out of her mindset anytime soon."

"Unfortunately, I am a hard determinist."

"…"

"What is it?"

"No, it's just surprising. You always talk about repaying debts, taking care of the poor and working hard. Were those just pretty words?"

"Repaying 'debts' and gift exchange are very common ways of maintaining social bonds. I take care of the poor because I want to, not because I have to and just because my desire and reasoning for working hard are predetermined, doesn't mean I shouldn't work hard."

"… Do you ever get tired? Thinking in that way."

"… There are some lessons I wish I could unlearn. I think I'd have been happier that way."

"If you could be normal, would you be normal?"

"What are you talking about? I'm a perfectly ordinary and pleasant civilian girl who loves sunshine, flowers and all things small and fluffy."

"… Yoshiko…"

Yoshiko sighed. "It depends on my starting luck. If my starting luck is good enough to carry me through the rest of the game, I would like to be… a little happier."

"Don't you think it's weird? You're rich and you could skate by just fine in life with not a worry in your mind. Yet… there are times where you look very sad."

"… I think… humans need something to worry about and work towards. If not, existence seems meaningless." She paused. "It is meaningless, fundamentally."

"You're being bleak."

"Bleak? Not at all. Nothing truly matters. Everything is meaningless. Which means no one can tell me what is important or what is the 'true path'. Which means I create it myself. Which means I can do anything. Isn't that such a liberating thought?"

"… I've never thought about it like that."

"You're too pessimistic."

"It's dangerous. That optimism."

"To who?"

"… What do you think is right in this world then?"

"Objectively? Nothing. You?"

"… I don't know. If there is something, I don't know."

"Even if there is an absolute something… If there are a thousand minds, there are a thousand interpretations. The more complex the rules, the more subjective interpretations there will be. That's troublesome because they can't all be right. If there is an absolute moral code, I'd like it to be either simple enough for everyone to understand or so unfathomable as to be beyond our full comprehension. If it is simple then I must be daft. If it is unfathomable, investing the effort to find it doesn't seem like a worthy investment."

"That's unexpected. You'd just give up?"

"It's not like I just gave up. I've searched and I haven't found. It's interesting but I don't feel like investing any more effort. Unlike you, I don't like to tear myself out over things I don't know."

"It doesn't have to be something very simple or very complicated. It could be something in the middle."

"Maybe. But anything other than that is extremely unsatisfying. I hate getting things half right. I like nice, round numbers like 100% and there isn't much incentive to get the highest grade possible."

"You don't believe in an afterlife?"

"In this world, humans can summon gods to their will. Perhaps it exists but it is almost impossible to conclusively prove that such a thing exists without going down there yourself. I will hold off judgement."

"Shouldn't you try just in case?"

"Why would I limit myself for something I'm not sure exists?"

"But you do charity work. It's not like you need the freedom to do evil. It's not hard to leave out some offerings once a while."

"I couldn't care less if my sims started worshipping me and being praised and begged to all the time is troublesome. Who knows? Maybe the gods hate worship. Maybe they'd be very happy if someone came in and killed all humans. We frequently punch holes into the earth after all. In that case, worshipping them and 'doing good' may anger them."

"You don't believe in Shinto."

"That's right."

"Then what do you believe in? Do you follow the teachings of the Buddha?"

"… Well, I am acquainted with his teachings but I won't call myself a Buddhist."

"Your clan?"

"Of course they are Shinto. Every last one of them. You? Do you believe in the gods?"

"It's hard to explain chakra without them."

"I see. From my point of view, these 'gods' that the people believe in seem like natural phenomenon rather than any beings resembling humans." She looked him dead in the eye. "It goes without saying, if there are any rumours of me being unfaithful…"

"You will find a way to chop my head off, I get it."

"Just making it crystal clear. I'm glad we have such a good understanding of each other."

Shikamaru sighed. "I thought getting closer to you would help me understand you and get over my stupid fear… But… well, it does make me understand you and that's the problem. You scare me more and more with every passing day."

"Well, thank you. Are you in love with me yet?"

" **No.** You are _not the least bit_ cute."

"Is that so? That's unfortunate. You would be my first pick." Yoshiko burst into a fit of giggles, one hand delicately covering her mouth. "Don't give that traumatised look, Nara-san. You're the most logical choice. If I married you, would you make me give you my assets?"

"I might as well hack your hands off, spoon out your eyes and stuff you in a bird cage."

"Would you help me if my clan tried to claim my assets as theirs?"

"I wouldn't agree to marry you if I don't do at least that much."

"Exactly. I have a long and rare list of criteria and you tick all of the essential ones. I need a man who would allow me to own assets, conduct business, be my shield and to what he can to help me continue being independent. To satisfy my clan, he would have to be of respectable social standing."

"That's… not _that_ bad. There are a lot of kunoichi who are very bullish so Konoha ninja are a little more used to their wives talking back to them."

"For my mental health, I would prefer someone who I can let down my mask with."

"… Yeah, good luck with that. The civilian nobility wouldn't let you have your independence and ninja are basically trained to sniff out crazy. They can tolerate a little bit but they know when to run for the hills. There's a reason why Kiba's mum is a two-time divorcee."

"She seems like a perfectly reasonable if dominant and defensive woman to me."

"… You see that? That's the problem with you right there."

"I guess people aren't used to that… I'll just have to find a ninja who's… a little loopier than I could ever be. That way, he can't complain."

"… I pray for your future. I _really_ pray for your future."

"The sentiment is appreciated but I don't need prayers. I believe we're in agreement when I say action is far more valuable, right?"

He groaned. "Shut up. I'm doing things now."

She smiled a strange, soft little smile. "I guess. I wonder when you will take flight."

"… Why are you telling me this?"

"What?"

"That you consider me for marriage. I'll have my guard up for any moves you make."

She laughed. "Moves? I guess. Well, for personal reasons… I've decided that marrying you would be a little skin-crawling."

"… Why?"

"Biology. You'd be weirded out if I told you."

"I'm already weirded out by this insight into your mind. I'm stuck in the rabbit hole already. It's too late to climb out now."

She shook her head, smile still bright across her face. "Maybe some time in the future, my sweet little cherub. In the meantime, you can ensure you're not in the crossfire of my marriage search by finding me some eligible bachelors."

"… You are unbelievable. I hate you. I hate you _so much_. You _know_ I hate love stuff."

"Well?"

He sighed. "I'll draw up a list."

"Thank you, secretary-san. You're as reliable as ever."

* * *

Hinata stared up blankly at the hospital ceiling. Another surgery? She activated her byakugan and held her hand in front of her face. It was useless. She could see blurry lines trailing through her body but she couldn't see her tenketsu. It was useless.

She was useless. She shouldn't have looked at Naruto's light.

* * *

 _Author's Note: I find the title and summary to be lacklustre. If you so please, I would be grateful if you could do any of the following:_

 _Inform me on what you think are the core appeals/conceits/themes of the story._

 _Inform me of your impressions of the current title/summary._

 _Suggest a title._

 _Suggest things to include in the summary._

 _Thank you for reading and I hope for your cooperation in bettering this story._


	9. Chapter 9

Princess drifted across the row of sniper rifles, taking one into her hands and caressing its sides.

"They really are beautiful machines, aren't they, Mohamed?"

Her words rang through the empty space. She put the gun back on its stand. "Why didn't I see that earlier?"

The room was a large metal box filled with heavy machinery and rows and rows of metal weapons. Even now she could remember Mohamed's back bent over a desk. She'd sit there, watching. Maybe he'd notice her in two minutes, maybe twenty, maybe two hours. But when he'd look up, his face would break into the smile of a cherub as he shoved his designs into her hands and enthusiastically rattle off every detail. He'd munch on a carrot or sip some coffee as he painted her methodical world a true, brilliant gold with his words, unaware of just how much his passion and little hobby was changing the lives of millions.

A chat notification popped up. She steeled herself and opened it.

 _{Leo: Hi, Princess! When d'you wanna have our next date?}_

* * *

"Hinata-chan… I…"

Hinata looked up at Naruto's guilty face. "D-did my clan give you a lot of trouble for that? S-sorry about, N-Naruto-kun."

"I… destroyed your eyes, didn't I? They say you can't fight anymore."

"I-It's not that bad! I-It's just… just…" Hinata blinked rapidly. She couldn't be so weak! She clutched her forehead and to her shame, released a sniffle. "It's just… my sister will be glad and… well, it was going to h-happen anyway… so… so… I…" She looked down at her hands, fidgeting. It was disgraceful. It was disgraceful. It was disgraceful. Why was she like this? She could feel the eyes of everyone in the school grounds looking at her, judging her for her weakness. She could never be a Clan Head.

Naruto gently took her hand. Hinata's head peeked out, staring at his serious face and guilty blue eyes. He led her back into the school and she followed mutely, her hand limp in his. He locked them in a classroom, setting traps on the doors and windows. When had he become so grown up? Why had he developed so much as a ninja while she could only stammer and blush?

It was really pathetic.

"There's no class after this," he explained. "I'm sorry, for talking about that stuff outside. I should've known that it was hard."

It suddenly hit her that they were together. Alone. In a locked classroom. Her face felt like it was bursting and she opened her mouth to speak only to find that she needed to take in more air. Naruto looked extremely alarmed, arms out and floating about, unsure of what to do as she hyperventilated.

"Are you alright, Hinata-chan?!"

"I-It's-" Deep breath. "A-a-a-alright! A-alright!"

It took a few minutes before Hinata was able to calm down enough to talk, though her entire body was sweating and seemed on the verge of getting heatstroke. She tapped her clammy hands to her face, feeling the heat radiating from it. She must look like a ridiculous sweaty tomato right now. She was horrible!

"S-sorry, Naruto-kun. I just…"

"I know. If I couldn't fight, I would be pretty sad too."

"I-It's not like that… It's just… It's just…" Hinata swallowed dryly. She was such a coward… Besides, Naruto-kun was happy now. He didn't need her… he didn't need her saying unnecessary things. "I-I think you're very strong!"

Naruto's face lit up. "Really? You think so?"

Hinata bobbled her head up and down as fast as she could. "Your light… is very bright!"

"What do you-" Naruto's body slumped. "Oh."

Stupid, stupid, stupid, why did she say that? "I-It's not like that! I think… I think you're very great!" She blurted out.

"Really?"

"Yes! You're very strong and cheerful. Your pranks are very clever and you never give up! You're very kind and- and-" Her face steamed. What was she saying?!

Naruto opened and closed his mouth for a moment, eyes shining. "I didn't… you like me?"

"L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-like? I-I-I-you're-I mean, I-I-"

Naruto's beautiful and painfully hopeful smile faded. "You… don't like me then?"

"NO!" Hinata cried loudly. "I mean, yes! I mean, I-I like you!"

"D-do you… want to be… friends?"

Hinata nodded so vigorously she thought her head was going to fly off.

Naruto grinned and huggedhuggedhuggedhewashuggingherwhatwhat-

 _I've died and gone to heaven._

"Hinata-chan? Hinata-chan! Are you alright?!"

Hinata made a squealing noise.

"Hinata-chan?!"

Hinata managed to tweak her squealing noise to be somewhat affirmative.

Naruto released her. "So, we're friends, right?"

"Y-Yes!"

"I'll do my best to protect you!"

"P-protect me?"

"Yes! It's my fault that you can't fight."

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"It's not like I can't fight… I'm just… not very good."

"But you're the strongest girl in class!"

"Sasuke-kun is stronger."

"That's because Sasuke is a guy. You shouldn't compare yourself to him."

Hinata shook her head. "He's a second son. Yet I…"

"What?"

"I-It's nothing! Y-you don't have to protect me, Naruto-kun. I… I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not a burden, Hinata-chan! I'm sure you can get stronger!"

"I can't do anything but the most basic of the gentle fist. As a Hyuuga, I'm useless."

"Don't say that about yourself! You're amazing, Hinata-chan! Even if you're not good at that, there are other things you could be good at."

"The clan would not approve."

"Who cares about what those old geezers say? They suck! If they love you, they won't be so mean."

"I… I… I… I don't think… anyone… loves me."

"I'll love you, Hinata-chan!"

Her heart skipped. "R-really?"

"Of course! I believe in you! You can do it!"

"I'm not really good at anything. I don't have your chakra and I'm not as talented as Sasuke-kun."

"You can be! We'll go to Yoshiko-nee!"

"Who is that?"

"She can see the talents of others!"

"Is that a kekkei genkai or…?"

"What's a kekkei genkai?"

"… Umm… it's a special ability you're born with. Like my eyes."

"Oh. Nah, Yoshiko-nee doesn't have white eyes."

"… So… this person can see if I have talent?"

"Yeah! She saw me and told me that I was good at the really big jutsu! Then she got Ji-chan to gimme some teachers!"

"You have a grandfather?"

"Yeah! He's the Hokage!"

"Ho-Ho-Hokage-sama?! But-but you're not a Sarutobi?"

"Nah."

"Oh… are you blood-related?"

"Hmm… I don't think so."

"I see. You're really amazing."

"Not really. He's a pervert."

"N-Naruto-kun! You-you shouldn't be saying those sorts of things!"

"It's true!"

"… Do you really believe I have talent?"

"Of course! We'll go see her after school today!"

Hinata's face fell back into reality. "I… my clan… they'll pick me up… so I can't… they also don't like you…"

"Then let's go now!"

"N-now? But we have lessons now!"

"So? They're boring and useless."

"E-Education is very important-"

Naruto was already grabbing her arm and dragging her out. "Shikamaru skips all the time and he's top of the class. If that guy can do it, you can too! Come on! I'll teach you how run away!

* * *

"Sachiko-nee!"

The maid looked down at him disapprovingly. "You should be in school, Naruto-kun."

"Hinata-chan is more important!"

"… What happened?"

"I want Yoshiko-nee to tell Hinata-chan that she's talented!"

Sachiko looked at Hinata and she could see those soft eyes of pity and compassion. Hinata looked down, ashamed. "… Just this once. Come in."

She was sat uncomfortably in a room full of gold and shiny ornaments. It was a… strange aesthetic and she knew no clans that would decorate like that.

"Is this 'Yoshiko-nee' part of a clan?"

"Hmm… I don't think so? She's not a ninja."

"What's her surname?"

"I dunno."

"…"

"…"

"…"

The door opened and Shikamaru stepped out.

"Shi-Shikamaru-kun? Why are you here?"

"I work here. Why are you here?"

"Work?"

"Yeah!" Naruto said cheerfully. "Shikamaru works for Yoshiko-nee!"

"E-Eh?! What do you do?"

"Everything." He sighed and even the heaving of his shoulders was slow and languished. "Managing her schedule and visitors. That kind of thing. I hate her so much."

"Oh. Um… I… I see. Um… A-are your parents fine with it?"

"Nara parenting is very different from Hyuuga parenting. So, why are you here?"

"Naruto-kun says that um… this… the owner of this house can tell talents and so… um… I want to see if I can…"

She felt Shikamaru's attention on her intensify even though his gaze was as unfocused as ever. There was just something about the way he was looking at her that made her uncomfortable. "Her name is Ikeda Yoshiko."

Ikeda… Ikeda… "That's an important clan, right?"

"Yoshiko-nee is a part of a clan?! But she's not a ninja!"

"There are many civilian clans, Naruto-kun. The Ikeda are pretty big in the money lending and banking business."

"Really? That's boring."

"Well…" Hinata looked around again. "She's a very wealthy person, isn't she?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "She's also a very busy person. She's not in now. In fact, she's pretty booked up today."

"Oh…"

"But Yoshiko-nee could still see Hinata-chan, right?! She only has to look at her!"

Tell talent with only a look? Was that possible? But Shikamaru hadn't denied anything and if Shikamaru thought so…

Shikamaru rubbed his head. "I don't know her exact location. Besides, she would be very angry with me, not you, if I let you interrupt her. It's not anything urgent, is it? She'll definitely return sometime today so just wait."

They waited for a few hours. Shikamaru disappeared back into the room while Hinata sat listening to Naruto chatter about everything and anything. It was nice just sitting there with a cup of hot tea while Naruto's enthusiastic and lively voice flowed over her. She was almost disappointed when the doorbell rang and a lady wafted in.

Hinata immediately sat straighter.

 _She's so pretty but… in a stiff kind of way._

Naruto didn't seem to notice anything and barrelled over to her. "Yoshiko-nee! I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Sorry, Naruto-kun. I've been busy," her eyes led her head to Hinata. "Would you like to introduce me to your friend?"

"This is Hinata-chan! She's talented, right?"

Her face held no hint of surprise or curiosity at her presence, merely a blank sort of pleasantness. Hinata squirmed and got the feeling that Yoshiko had already known who she was.

"Nice to meet you," Yoshiko said smoothly. "I am Ikeda Yoshiko. You've come to make use of my abilities?"

"T-That's not it… It's just… I mean… If-If you don't want to…"

"It's fine. You won't be the first." Yoshiko's head arced towards Naruto. "We shall leave you here."

"Why?"

"This is Hyuuga-san's private information."

"But we're friends!"

"Do you want to let her know what happened two weeks ago?"

"Umm…"

"If she wants to tell you after, she can." She glided past Hinata. "Come. Let's go to a private room."

Hinata trotted after her, eyes roving around the the halls. "Your-your house is very nice."

"Thank you."

"…"

"…"

Yoshiko stopped before a door and slid it open for her. Hinata hastily walked through. It was a small meeting room. They sat opposite one another and tea was poured.

"Just to be clear, what exactly do you want out of this encounter?" Yoshiko said calmly.

"I… I want to know if I can be a good kunoichi."

Yoshiko got up and walked to a cabinet, taking out some paper and a pen. She flicked her wrist and whipped out an abacus. With one hand, her fingers raced across the abacus and with the other, she wrote a mix of numbers and strange symbols that Hinata couldn't understand. All the while, she looked towards Hinata but Hinata didn't feel any concentration or intensity from her gaze. Instead, Yoshiko's eyes darted all over the air in front of her, focusing on something Hinata couldn't see.

The air was still, the room was painted in aristocratic wealth and the women on the artisanal vases stared back at her. Hinata struggled against her instinct to fidget and play with her fingers. She felt like she should say something but Yoshiko was clearly busy and concentrated. On fulfilling her selfish request, no less. Hinata idly wondered how many people must show up at her door asking favours. It must be tiring.

Finally, Yoshiko's hands slowed down and she placed down her pen and removed her hand from her abacus. She picked up the papers she'd written on and scanned them, the combination of numbers and symbols seeming to make sense to her. She then got a new piece of paper and started writing more numbers and symbols. She then started asking Hinata some questions like when she'd started training, how many hours a day she trained, who her teachers were and so on. There was then another round of calculations and a severe frown formed on Yoshiko's face.

"I have good news and bad news," Yoshiko said after she finished writing. "Which do you want first?"

Hinata swallowed dry air. "Umm… whichever is fine?"

"I see three paths in your future as a kunoichi. The first option is to continue as you are now. Follow the training path set by your ancestors and do your best to become a Hyuuga fighter. I'll be frank. You're not cut out for the Hyuuga fighting style. You could make it to mid-chuunin comfortably. Maybe tokujo if you really push it."

Tokujo? For a main house Hyuuga to not even hit jounin was utterly disgraceful. She clenched her fists. "H-How can you tell?"

"I have the ability to see the talents of others. You can ask around if you want. Hokage-sama and a couple clan heads believe in my abilities. I'm not sure if your father believes but at the very least, he should've heard some rumours."

"That's… absolute?"

"I won't say I'm infallible. But if it helps, I will say that I've been right around 100% of the time."

"I… see." Hinata looked down at her fists.

"Well, that's the first option. With the second option, you will have to abandon the Hyuuga way. Why? Because you can definitely became a jounin. You can do it. You have the will and all of your numbers are decent to good. They are just not in the places that the traditional way requires to thrive. I can tell you where your talents truly lie. You will be jounin by 20. If you are willing to bleed for it, you can push into S-class in 20 to 25 years or so."

Hinata's head snapped up. "S-class?!"

"Yes. But you will bleed for it."

Hinata's mind raced. If she was just a chuunin, she was useless. But if she were a jounin… _maybe even S-class_ , she could be useful to her clan and make her father proud. Surely if it was to make her useful, her father would approve, right? Or… or maybe he won't care. He was holding the heir naming ceremony next week and everyone knew it would be Hanabi. He'd already stopped teaching her and her new teacher didn't even bother teaching her new gentle fist techniques and was constantly frustrated at her pathetic failures. She was a cripple. Would it really matter if she learned some things on the side?

No one would care.

"Will I really become a jounin?"

"Would you be willing to abandon your clan's way?"

"… I don't think… I don't think anyone would care. Besides, if I can be useful this way…"

In a blossoming moment, the stiffness in Yoshiko's posture vanished. Her eyes softened, her hands fell to her lap and a sweet smile of delight and pride flourished across her elegant face. Maybe Hinata's eyes were truly failing her because in a single instant in time, Yoshiko went from an aloof lady of class to a gentle and compassionate woman who _seemed to care._

"If that's the case, why not go all the way?" Yoshiko suggested, her voice lilting and warm.

Hinata shrank back. "Wh-What do you mean?"

Yoshiko rose and came round the table to sit next to Hinata and clasped her hands in hers. "Option 3. You can make S-class by 22."

"Wh-what? How?"

"I like you, Hinata-chan. You are determined, talented, respectful to elders and able to listen to instructions. If you are willing to work with me, I will work with you. I will create the best build I can for you playing into every niche strength you have and I will arrange for teachers for you. I will draw up all your training schedules and I will make you a legend. But I will not lie. You will have to be willing to bleed a few rivers and live and breathe on nothing but the will to be strong. Can you do that?"

"I… I want to be strong but I don't know if I can-"

" **I** _say you can._ If I'm wrong, I will give up everything I own. You have that potential. You have the potential to be an ace for your village. A reliable ninja that can be called to field to change the tide of a war. What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve it?"

 _A reliable ninja._

" **Anything**." The strength of her own voice startled her and she moved to clasp her mouth behind her hands. But Yoshiko held her hands tight and refused to let go.

"Good." Yoshiko pulled Hinata into a brief hug before standing up. "Your talents are best used for assassination but your character… I could make you a healer. Which one do you want?"

"I… I want to be useful! I am… I will be a Konoha ninja. I will be a part of the village. Even if I don't do it, someone else would. If… if I'm the best person for the job, I should do it. As a ninja of this village. That would be the best."

"Assassin it is." She motioned for Hinata to stand up and she stood. "I shall outline the details of your build and arrange for teachers. The main problem would be your father and your clan."

"I… don't think… they would care."

"Then I can leave it to you?"

"I-I think so."

Yoshiko nodded. "Talk to him after I've drawn up the schedule."

"B-But won't it be better to ask before…?"

"If everything is already arranged, it's harder for the Hyuuga to back down without embarrassment."

"But… what if he doesn't agree?"

"It will be fine. You are not the first I've made arrangements for. I shall give you a letter to help convince him just in case you're unable to."

* * *

 _Next day_

"Hinata-chan!"

Hinata looked up from her lunch. "N-Naruto-kun?"

He shifted uneasily. "Can we eat lunch together?"

"M-My… family…" Naruto's face fell. "I-I mean-" Hinata swept her eyes through the courtyard. There weren't many people and no one was really paying attention. "I mean… as long as they don't find out… d-do you know a place?"

Naruto beamed. "Yeah! The classroom?"

"Shhhhh! You go first. I'll follow after a few minutes, okay?"

"Sure!"

* * *

 _1 week later_

Hinata knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The study door squeaked open and she slid it shut behind her.

"What is it, Hinata?"

She walked over to her father's desk. "I… arrangements have been made for new teachers. For me."

"What do you mean?"

"I… do you know Ikeda Yoshiko?"

"I've met her at an event."

"Do you believe in her abilities?"

"I've never seen it personally. But I know a few who would swear by it. Thanks to her advice, Hoheto's kid is learning the sword and doing quite well as far as I know." His eyes bore down into her. "What did she tell you?"

"If I was willing to bleed a few rivers, I could S-class."

"S-class?"

"Yes. This is the schedule she gave me."

Her father took the papers. "This… requires you to skip a lot of school."

"Shi-Shikamaru-kun only goes in for tests and-"

"We are not the Nara."

"…"

He shuffled the papers around. "You will die from this."

"At-at least… I want to try."

"You don't have to try."

 _You don't have to try. It doesn't matter. You are hopeless._

She felt the heat, the crawling, biting heat rupturing and igniting in her chest, fuelling her fists and seeping to her skull. She put a foot forward, feet stamping the ground as her nails bit into her palm. "I want to a proud Konoha ninja! I will serve the people of Fire and fulfill my role as a member of the ninja clans! I do not take this duty half-heartedly! If I do not give it my all, what's the point?!"

Silence.

Hinata breathed heavily, the heat draining to the ground, leaving her pale and sweaty. She had just yelled at her father. She had just yelled at her Clan Head. She had just denied him in the most disrespectful manner possible. Why had she done that? She was so stupid! She was the one asking for a favour and now-

"This is what you want?"

"… Yes, sir."

He looked back down at the papers, sighed and gathered them up. She accepted them back with shaking hands. "Go do it."

"… Eh?"

"If this is what you want, go do it. Just go."

Hinata shakily bobbed her head up and down. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." She bowed and fled the room as fast as possible.

 _Go do it. Just go._

He really didn't care.

* * *

Hinata approached Naruto. "Do you… want to eat lunch together?"

"Yeah! The usual place?"

"…" She shook her head. "It's fine."

"Your family-"

"It doesn't matter."

* * *

The halls were tall and the long tables decked with bountiful food and drink. A band was stationed near the dance area, wafting traditional music through the air.

"I don't believe we have had the pleasure of meeting. I am Uchiha Itachi, heir to the Uchiha Clan, and this is my little brother, Uchiha Sasuke."

Yoshiko swallowed her drink and turned her attention to the brother. "I am Ikeda Yoshiko, daughter to the Head of the Ikeda Clan. It is my pleasure to invite you to my event. I haven't spotted your father and mother around."

"Unfortunately, they are currently unavailable and sent the two of us in their stead."

"I see. That is a shame but I'm glad to be officially acquainted with you. I've heard how busy you can be and I've only seen you around once or twice. It's a pleasure to finally have a good look of your face."

"It is indeed a shame that we haven't met sooner. I've heard about your good deeds in the service of Konoha. As a ninja of this proud village, I am grateful for your work."

"No, no, not at all. I could never match the deeds under your name." She turned to look down at the child hiding just a little behind his brother's leg. "I'm sure your brother will catch up with you in no time."

Itachi nodded. "My brother is a very talented child and I am confident in his future as a ninja."

Sasuke's lips turned down. "I'm not as good as my brother though."

Yoshiko shook her head. "Not at all." She paused a little, head leaning forward, eyes squinting just a little. "I am sure you will surpass your brother."

The eyes of Uchiha Itachi drilled right through her skull. "Is that so?"

She straightened herself back up and met his eyes. "If he plays to his strengths and walks his own path, I am confident in his abilities."

"…"

"…"

Sasuke squirmed uncomfortably as he looked back and forth between the two of them.

Yoshiko's face broke into a smile. "You must be hungry. How about the two of you take a look at the menu? I specially prepared it for this event."

Sasuke nodded. "I'm hungry."

Itachi looked down and patted his head. "Go on and eat."

"But-"

"Sasuke. Go."

Sasuke reluctantly separated himself from his brother and trotted off, leaving the two of them to resume their staring contest.

"How about we move to one of the private balconies outside, Uchiha-san? This way we can drink out of sight from the children."

"That sounds like a good idea."

A few chats with the wait staff later, the two of them were seated in a table overlooking the forest. Alcohol and appetizers were provided and Yoshiko stirred her soup before taking a sip from her spoon. Itachi observed her for a moment before copying her.

"What is this soup?"

"Lobster Bisque."

"Did you make this?"

"I instructed my chefs how to do so."

"I've heard you invent all the recipes in your food chain."

"Well, I guess that is so. I'm… very heavily inspired though. I cannot take full credit."

"From where?"

"Many places. It's a dream of mine to see more of this world."

"Do your parents forbid you?"

"Hmm… well, I'm sure they would object to me travelling to certain places but it's mostly that I can't bear to leave this place."

"You love Konoha?"

"I've set up my home here and made my mark here. It makes me happy to see the children I've helped. If I take a trip around the world, who knows what could happen to them."

"I'm sure your family could manage it."

"I'd hate to burden them with something I started. How about you? I'm sure it's not fun and games but you've seen quite a bit of world, haven't you?"

"I've seen many thing, yes. Unfortunately, in this line of work, it tends to be the unpleasant."

"The ninja craft… it's not exactly a ground breaking revelation but the effect it has on the mental status is quite significant. It's not good for the children."

"It's necessary for the security of Konoha. We must start young or their bodies will be too rigid."

"I will leave ninja matters to ninja." She finished up her soup. "There are, after all, severe differences in our hierarchical structures. I find ninja to be a lot more straight to the point."

"It's a matter of efficiency. It can't be helped."

"It's not a point of contention for me. My most wonderful secretary is rather blunt due to a ninja upbringing. It is expedient."

"It is indeed."

.

.

.

"What do you think of my brother?"

Yoshiko pushed her soup away and smeared garlic butter on her bread. "I'm glad you asked. His numbers are wonderful."

"Numbers?"

"Surely you've heard."

"Enlighten me."

She smiled back. "Your numbers are some of the best I've seen. The amount of legendries packed into this little village is truly staggering. You… are fortunate to have been born into the Uchiha Clan. Your natural talents match up remarkably well to your clan's specialities."

"My brother?"

"Somewhat."

"… Do you truly believe he can surpass me?"

"How long did it take you to learn your first wind jutsu?"

"Around 10 days."

"How long did it take for you brother to learn his first fire jutsu?"

"Around a week."

"He's better at ninjutsu than you."

"But that's somewhat of a false comparison. It's true that I have more experience and knowledge on how to execute a jutsu but the difference in learning speed between a first and second affinity is not to be underestimated."

Yoshiko blinked at him. "And… what does that have to do with anything?" She said slowly.

"You cannot compare how fast I learn wind jutsu with how fast I learn fire jutsu."

"I'm just demonstrating that he can pick up jutsu faster."

"Yes, but you cannot compare learning speeds of first and second affinities like that. The learning speed of a second affinity is significantly slower."

Yoshiko chewed her food, paused, continued chewing and finally swallowed. "They don't… Do the Uchiha check the affinities of their children?"

"… No."

"Okay." Yoshiko nodded. "Okay, okay, that explains _a lot_ about your brother's skill set." Yoshiko drew in a deep breath and heaved it out in a large sigh. "Your brother is lightning."

"… Ah."

"…"

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"It would be a rather large oversight if that were true."

"My sympathies."

"…"

"…"

"It's been a pleasure talking to you. I would grateful if you tell this to no one."

"No one?"

"No one."

"I shall not mention it. Please do update me on your brother. I would like to know if I'm wrong."

Itachi nodded. "I will make certain of that."

* * *

"Hito-chan?"

"What?"

"Princess is still mad at me. Why?"

"For the hundredth time, _you killed her boyfriend._ Of course she's mad."

"But that was what the gifts were for! You yourself said it was a pretty big gift."

Hitoshi sighed. "Look, if you kill someone dear to someone else, they are going to be mad for a very long time. You should know this. That's why you've threatened to kill all our families. That's why everyone is scared of you."

"Yeah, I get that, but why?"

"They don't know what you could do to them. On the other hand, you regularly check their minds."

"So?"

"They don't like that."

"But how else am I supposed to make sure they don't try and kill me?"

"You don't hire people who want to kill you!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because it's wrong!"

"Why?"

"If people don't want to work for you, you upset them when you make them do so."

"But why don't they want to work for me? They get their sick days and year-end bonuses and everything. I only kill their family if they betray me or screw up really badly. As long as they don't do that, it's essentially the best job you could have in a world with so few labour laws."

"Maybe because you ship drugs and they don't support mass murderers?"

"They're just researching on how to quantify intelligence or working on better slave seals. Nothing to do with drugs at all."

"Slavery is also-" Hitoshi sighed again. It was hopeless. "Look, just finish up your ice cream and we can go, okay?"

Leo was happy to leave it at that, licking more ice cream of his cone. "Soft serve is great but I still like gelato the best. I wonder if it's a player. Hito-chan. Investigate this shop, okay? I wanna know everything about how and who runs it."

* * *

Shikamaru heard the doorbell ringing and looked up to check the clock. It was already time for Yoshiko to return. When had it gotten so late? Yoshiko walked into their workroom a minute later, face and body even more plastered up than usual. She plopped herself down on the couch jerkily, looking rather like a child had broken all the limbs of a plastic doll and abandoned it haphazardly on a couch.

"Welcome home," he said.

"I'm home."

"How was it?"

"Good."

"…"

"…"

"You look tired."

"Hmm. You should be home by now."

"I intended to."

"I'm sure your mother misses you."

"I don't want to hear that from a girl who abandoned her family to pursue business."

Something snapped in Yoshiko. She picked up the plant on the table and threw it at him. Shikamaru caught it and stared at her.

"Learning from Mika now?"

"I'm tired," Yoshiko snapped. "I'm tired and grumpy. I am not in the mood."

Shikamaru held back his 'you started it' comeback. This was a rare event. "What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk."

Deciding to let it go, he continued doing his work while Yoshiko lay on the couch.

"Nara-san."

"What?"

"Do you think I'm a good person?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"You're the only person that doesn't seem to think so."

"Well, it doesn't exactly look good to say the charity girl is a horrible person."

"Nara-san."

"… I… probably."

"Do actions or intentions determine a man?"

"… The ninja in me says actions but the human in me wants to say intentions."

"Which is more important?"

"I don't know." He paused. "You always make me feel like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I don't know anything."

"It comes with age. The more you learn, the more you learn just how much you don't know. I hardly know anything too."

"You are depressing to be around."

"Really? You are a naturally pessimistic person. My theory is that being around me makes you think more so you think more pessimistic thoughts."

"I don't know about that."

"Think of all the wonderful things you have yet to learn. Won't the world be boring and predictable if you knew everything?"

"Yes. There are also many terrible things to learn too."

"There's really no helping you, is there?"

"I can't help it. That's how my mind works."

"May I recommend meditation?"

"It doesn't work."

"I will give you a special two weeks off to go to a temple and learn prayer and meditation from the Buddhist monks."

He looked her up and down. "That's impossible."

"I'll find a way to survive."

"Look at how tired you are when I'm handling all the troublesome stuff."

"I was fine before you came."

"Yes but you've expanded drastically ever since I've come. And don't tell me you'll find a replacement. You're horrible at job delegation."

"I'll have you know that I'm excellent at job delegation. I just have very exacting standards."

"You have a micromanaging problem."

"Well… yes. That's why I keep you around."

"I still can't figure out if you actually like me."

"Of course I do."

"You're not being very convincing."

"And how exactly would you like me to prove that I like you?"

"… I don't know."

Yoshiko sighed and got up, walking over to him and putting her arms around him. He stiffened up, unsure of what to do.

"Nara-san, I-"

"Okay, step one, quit with this 'Nara-san' nonsense."

Yoshiko looked extremely constipated.

"Well?"

"Shikamaru-san-"

"No."

"Shikamaru-kun-"

"Remind me how much you love me again?"

"… Shikamaru."

"Yes?"

"… I forgot what I was going to say."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, patted her shoulder awkwardly and squirmed out of her hug. "You're tired, you're emotional, you aren't thinking right. Go clean up and sleep."

Yoshiko straightened herself, started to walk to the door before pausing. "Na- Shikamaru… do you think… you will ever feel warmer towards me?"

"… I don't know. I mean… don't get me wrong, the stuff you do is good… it's just…" He sighed. "I don't know. The way you talk? The way you walk? You talk in numbers when considering the intangible. Your emotions, your intentions just… doesn't feel real. Genuine. Warm. Passionate. Alive. For all intents and purposes, you seem like a perfectly good if pragmatic person. All ninja strive to be good and pragmatic. But… I don't know. I'm just not convinced. You may be doing good but I don't feel the spirit of compassion behind it. Especially seeing your performances at the events."

"… If you'd seen my… 'performances' at the charity event first and foremost… would you have considered me a warmer person?"

"… Probably. You're pretty damn convincing when you've got that smile and little bow going on."

"So… if I come across as genuine, it's an act. If I don't, I'm not a 'good' person despite my actions. There's no win state for me, is there?"

"… I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. I can't change that."

"Sometimes… I feel like I could save the world from starvation and all the diseases known to man and I'd still be all alone. Just because I was born cold." She bit her lip. For a split second, the image of Mika crying flashed in his mind and Shikamaru was briefly hit by the conviction that she was going to cry. To his eternal relief, she simply turned around and continued walking.

* * *

I've updated the summary. The title and summary are still subject to change so if you want to keep track of the story, I suggest bookmarking it in some way. There have been past readers who have lost my stories because of title changes.

Onto more important matters:

I suffer chronically from the writer disease I call middle blankness, where the connecting bits to the big set pieces are loose, draggy and uninteresting. I hate that and that was a huge problem in my previous piece. So until I get to the big moments, I'm just writing whatever I like because if I don't like it, it's not that interesting. I like character arcs so I wrote one. I like Hinata so I wrote Hinata. She is part of a bigger picture but this chapter basically only exists because I just like it and I'm curious to see if the audience actually likes this chapter. So if you like just nice little pieces like this, leave a note down. I only posted this because some people like my writing and if people don't like things like this, I will cut the arc out. I would probably still write it because I like writing it but I wouldn't post it.

Since this story was a fever dream birth, it's not exactly planned and I'm basically out of ideas for middle pieces. So if you have any strange ideas, characters, moments, story arcs, character arcs or basically whatever else you want to see in writing, review or PM me. The next chapter won't be out until I have enough ideas to fill a chapter and the chapter after that is the one I'm gunning for. Hopefully. Plans never survive contact with the enemy (i.e. my own writing-related hang-ups). I know many people who have nice ideas who don't have the motivation or skill to make them happen. I will write it if I like it. If it doesn't fit the story but I really like it, maybe I'll write it as a one-shot.

Basically, I just want to write but I can't because of idea drain so I've been smacking random things in frustration all week. Please help.


	10. Chapter 10

_Zombies_

* * *

The clock ticked. Yoshiko lay on the couch, her limbs and the folds of her clothes jumbled and haphazard. Shikamaru took the image of her in and glanced at the clock. It was only nine in the morning.

"Yoshiko."

"… What?"

"What are you doing?"

"… I don't know. What am I doing?"

"That was a rhetorical question. You have to get up for a meeting in an hour."

"Hmm."

Shikamaru sighed. "You know, I'm supposed to be the lazy one."

"Hmm."

"Yoshiko."

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Hmm."

"Yoshiko."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

"Hmm."

No witty comeback. Crap. "Yoshiko. What's going on?"

"I don't know. What am I doing, Shikamaru?"

"You've said it over and over again, haven't you? You're doing the maximum good in this world."

"… Does this world matter?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Nothing feels very real. Isn't it ridiculous how fast I can rise with basic knowledge and education?"

"Your education is very comprehensive."

"No, it's not." She paused. "Not by my standards."

"Your standards are ridiculous 90% of the time."

She cracked a smile. "They are otherworldly."

"… If this is about me saying you're a bad person, I don't actually think that. I mean, you're a bit weird but the children really appreciate you. I'm going to be a ninja and I'll probably make a lot tougher decisions than you for the greater good. You're not even sacrificing any lives or hurting people to achieve the maximum good. You're just… doing the best you can with what you have. That's what everyone does."

"… Are you happy? Doing the things you do?"

"There are a lot of ridiculous people you have to deal with but…" He sighed. "I'm only going to say this once but teaching the kids is the best part."

"… That's good."

"… If you're stuck in meetings all the time, you only see the numbers. Why don't you go out? Meet the people you've helped?"

She nodded slowly. "Okay."

"I'll… make space in your schedule."

"… Un. Okay."

* * *

The orphanage worker bowed her head and turned to the kids. "Say 'thank you'."

"Thank you, big sister," the kids chimed.

Yoshiko smiled and nodded back. "You're welcome."

They spent the next five hours playing with the kids and handing out food, clothes and toys. He kept a close eye on her and as the day wore on, her smile faded bit by bit and she moved somewhat sluggishly. Eventually, she excused herself and left. He followed her a few minutes later to the top of the roof where she sat, staring up at the sky as if it held all the answers to the universe.

"How did you get up here?"

She didn't bother turning to face him as he sat next to her. "The same way you did."

"By sticking your palms to the walls with chakra?"

"Hmm."

"… I will never get you."

"…"

"So, why are you up here?"

"… I could be doing something else. Something more productive. Something that would benefit the children more in the long-run. Handing out toys… I can hire someone to do that."

Shikamaru sighed. "You can't keep thinking like that. You're not a machine. You can't do thing _perfectly_ efficiently. Sometime, you just need to roll about the grass and play with kids, okay?"

"Hmm."

"… We are really similar, aren't we?"

Yoshiko cracked a smile. "Hmph."

"… Do you think I'll be like you? In a few more years."

"I sure hope not."

"…"

"…"

"… You don't like yourself very much."

"I'm temperate towards most matters."

"That's troublesome."

"Hmm."

"… Then why charity? Why children? Of all the things in the world you could've chosen, why did you take the altruistic path?"

"… You are what you think. Peace comes from within. Live in contentment. Those are lessons I have always believed in and… still do. Yet I can never strike the balance. Am I doomed to imperfection? What a silly question. Of course I am and there is nothing to do of it though we would then get into the definition of perfection…" She smiled, paused, shook her head and sighed. "I'm still such a silly little girl, don't you think?"

"… I won't say that but… no one really knows anything."

"You're right."

"…"

"… I think I'm going to go vegetarian for a while."

"What's that, suddenly?"

"No, I just feel like it."

"… Really?"

"It happens sometimes."

"… Well, if you ever want to visit a temple… would your parents hold it against you?"

"I don't think so but… hmm… I think too much."

"That makes two of us."

"… Shikamaru, if you ever want to leave-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. Stop thinking. Now."

"… You're mean to me."

"I'm not mean. Everyone else is too gentle with you. And you're too gentle to them."

"It can't be helped."

"Yes it can be. Your lash batting is a calculated choice." He gestured to her. "Look at you now, sitting and look like that."

She blinked down, seemingly surprised at her sloppy posture and moved to correct herself but he grabbed her legs. "No."

"But-"

"No."

"…"

"I don't hide anything, Yoshiko."

"That's a calculated choice of yours."

"I really hate you sometimes, you know?"

"Well, thank you."

"…"

"…"

"… Who are you? Really?"

"Well that's a question."

"Yoshiko."

"Who knows."

"…"

"…"

"… That's just sad."

"It's that way for everyone."

"No. No, it's not. Not even close to the same level."

"For ninja-"

"No. Not unless you're a spy."

"…"

"… Did it have to be that way?"

"It's just how I've always been. Only the strong can change the world. The weak must bend to its will and I have always bent."

"But you're strong now."

"Brittle. At any point, all my power can be revoked. From my father, from my clan, from a stray kunai that slices my neck. The likelihood of those scenarios happening aren't discountable either. It'll definitely happen by the time I'm of child bearing age."

"… I could… marry you?"

"… Is that a question or an offer?"

"No, it's just… weird." He scrunched his nose. "I don't want a girl."

"Maybe in five or ten years you'll change your mind."

"Probably."

"…"

"… But what would actually change? We'll live together, eat together, talk about our day. Maybe we'll have to go to a few more events. I'd take care of all the clan politics and you'll produce a son. Aside that, nothing will be that different."

"Maybe you'll find a girl you love."

"What are the chances of that?"

"Who knows? These kinds of matters are hard to predict. But in case you change your mind, I don't think I'd mind if you spent your nights in the arms of another woman. Just don't make things complicated by getting her pregnant or getting the relationship tangled in politics."

"I don't like that."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just seems wrong. Besides, I don't think I'd want you with another man."

"Hmm."

"… I feel like I know you a little more now."

"Really?"

"A little."

"I've done such a terrible job."

"… We're friends, aren't we?"

"Yes."

"…"

"… Maybe at home. At our office. Just sometimes. I don't know… I don't know how to… it's not a light switch."

"… Thank you."

* * *

"Ikeda Yoshiko… Ikeda Yoshiko… nope! No idea who that is!" Leo exclaimed spinning round and round on his spinning wheeled chair.

"This is her picture."

Leo snatched it and stopped spinning, causing his chair to slam his leg against the table. "Ow!" He rubbed his leg while flipping through the file. "Oh. It's Anoushka."

"You know her?"

"Yes, no, not really. So she _does_ do things to get rich. I'd wondered. What food does she make?"

"Page 57."

Leo scanned over it and whistled. "What is this menu? It's all over the place! Wait, how many restaurants does she have?"

"Her businesses are page 7."

He flipped to the right page, slowly squinting as he ran over the information. "Why the hell are there so many schools on here?"

"She's big on charity."

"Charity? Her?"

"Yes."

Leo scrunched his nose up. "Hmm… maybe she's like Princess. I really don't get women sometimes."

"Men can give to charity too."

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I just… I dunno. I kinda felt she was more like me than Chrissy." He scrunched the paper and threw it away, folding his arms on the table and plopping his head down on them. "This is so disappointing. Why does she have to be a good person?"

"Most people are."

"Yeah, but not us!" He stamped his foot on the ground repeatedly before jumping up. "Disappointing! Disappointing! Disappointing!"

Hitoshi slowly backed away, grabbing a pipe from a shelf and tossing it at Leo. Leo half hopped, half stomped out into his puppy room.

* * *

 _Five hours later_

Hitoshi cracked the door open. Leo was lying in a pile of puppies with a tub of gelato in his hands and other sweets scattered around him. Leo took a bottle of vodka and a bag of powder, dumped it into the tub of vanilla ice cream and mixed it up with a wooden mixing spoon. Hitoshi spotted around five tubs of ice cream off to the side with many more bottles surrounding them.

How was Leo not dead?

Just as Hitoshi was closing the door, Leo launched himself at him, wrapping his arms around Hitoshi's waist.

"Hiiiiiiiitoooooosssssshhhhiiiiii~~~~"

Hitoshi hesitated. "Yes?"

"I want all the gelato!"

"I will order more."

"Noooooooo!" Leo buried his face into Hitoshi's stomach. "I want all the gelato and all the cheesecake and all the chewy caramel and- and- I want everything! Everything!" Leo sobbed. "I miss my custards. I miss my churros. You think she could make them?"

"What?"

"Anoushka. You think she could make them?"

"Um… I don't know… she's successful in the food business but I don't know if she makes them-"

"She makes them. She makes them. Only she could make them. She makes tomyum and carbonara and pierogis and everything. The menu is from everywhere and anywhere." He squeezed tight and Hitoshi choked. "If she can make fucking macarons, she can make my churros, right?"

"I… I suppose?"

"I want churros. I want churros!"

Hitoshi sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll send her a letter, okay?"

"Kay!"

* * *

Yoshiko took the letter and flipped it over, pausing.

 _To Anoushka,_

 _From Leo_

"What's wrong?"

"This is from Leo."

Shikamaru jumped out of his chair and zoomed over to her side, snatching the letter and looking at both sides. "How do you know it's him?"

"The writing."

"He showed you his handwriting?"

"I know it's him."

"Do these symbols mean anything to you?"

"No."

"I'll hand this over to intelligence."

"I want to see it."

"No. Leo is an enemy of Konoha. You shouldn't be in contact with him."

"Can't you just say I realised it was him after reading the letter?"

"No. Besides, you have no idea what he put in the letter. It may have passed the standard checks but standard won't do it."

"…" Yoshiko's lips thinned. "… Fine. Go do your job, ninja."

* * *

"It didn't work?"

"No."

"…"

"What did you write?"

"I just asked her to make me churros!"

"Does she even know how to read your cipher?"

Leo paused. "Umm… I think so? I mean, if she changed her name to Lily, she must know English, right? Crap! I didn't think of that!" He hugged his bottle tighter. "Then again, my English isn't that good… but I'm good enough to ask for churros! I want churros!"

Hitoshi sighed. "So? What's your next brilliant plan?"

Leo absentmindedly swirled his ice cream around, seemingly mesmerised by the swirls of honey brown he was creating. "I just want churros."

"Is it really that important? She's always in Konoha so even if I want to send someone to convince her-"

Leo burst into a fit of giggles. "You're genius! Great! I have a huge backlog of jutsu I wanna try and I never really liked Konoha anyway."

"… Oh. Oh no."

* * *

It was a bright and sunny day in Konoha when huge rock suddenly blocked out the sun and fell from the sky. The reflexes of a few ninja split the rock into smaller pieces but the fragments still thundered down. As the dust cleared, a boar, cow and goose the size of the Hokage monument emerged, their limbs flailing about and sweeping men off their feet. The shockwaves of their footsteps ripped apart buildings and debris slammed into fleeing civilians.

Meanwhile, mobs of new attackers ran in from under their feet. Their skin pale and peeling, eyes dead and bodies scrawny, the child-like figures flung themselves at the ninja with an eagerness for death. At times, they clung to the ninja and self-destructed. Many were walking machine guns and they stood there lifeless as bullets left the holes drilled into their bodies and killed everything around them without discrimination. Others were batteries, chakra fuel tanks who served to power the main force and who died once their use was over.

Above them all was an army of pigs with angel wings, floating about the battlefield and fending of aerial attacks. Atop the biggest and pinkest one was Leonardo with binoculars.

"The zombies are working well!" He chimed. His eyes drifted to the top right. "Hmm… Where was her house again… eh? Oh, right! She would be in a shelter now!" He patted his pig's head. "Let's go, pink cloud!"

The pig crashed down next to the shelter. Surveying the dead civilians, Leo paused.

"Oh… Anoushka was a civilian, right?" He looked at his map. "Oh good! She's alive!" He ambled over to her location and fished her out of the rumble. Her clothes were ripped and there was a beam straight through her torso.

"Hi!"

She blinked back at him. "Greetings." She straightened herself and pulled the beam out of her torso, leaving behind a woundless stomach.

Leo eyed her health bar critically. "Geez, you really don't have much health, do you?"

"My level is high enough that I don't die from splash damage." She looked down at her ripped clothing, smoothing her hand over her thigh. The cloth covering it had been destroyed but her leg was unharmed. "I need new clothes. I look suspicious like this."

Leo shrugged. "Eh. Just say I ripped the clothes off you. Anyway, why didn't you reply to my letter?"

"It got seized by Intelligence. It looked like a weird cipher after all."

"… Oh. Right. I guess that makes sense."

"Why didn't you just write in Japanese?"

"I always use English when writing to fellow players."

She surveyed her surroundings. "And? Why did you invade?"

"Can you make churros?"

"… Yes?"

"Make me churros!"

"…"

"By the way, that wasn't a request. Make me churros. I can't invade your mind or cause you physical pain but I can kill your family, destroy all your businesses and umm… umm… oh yeah, I'm sure I have a few lolicons on my staff list somewhere… meh, I'll have to consult my old-fashioned director of suffering." Leo grinned. "Doesn't director of suffering sound like a fun title? So much better than 'head of the department of interrogation'. Bleh. She doesn't even really interrogate people these days. Names are fun!"

"Did you invade Konoha just to get me to make churros?"

"Well, you never leave the village and I had a few jutsu I wanted to field test. Konoha people are also super annoying. And rich. And serial hoarders of sweet, sweet jutsu. I've always wanted to kidnap a few of their heirs but they are soooo overprotective over them. So I invade and loot them for knowledge and a little gold on the side! Isn't it a wonderful plan?"

"So the churros thing is just a side quest?"

"No! The churros are the _main_ quest. All those fancy jutsu are great and all but they can't beat churros."

"… I'm on your friends list. Why didn't you just message me?"

Leo froze.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… I… um… didn't think of that? I forgot I added you."

"…"

"…"

"… I sent you a message to ask about the letter too."

"You did?" Leo went through a few menus. "Huh. You did."

"And you replied."

"Yeah but…" He scrolled up. "Yeeeaaah, I was totally wasted. I can't remember it at all. Hey, look! I told you I wanted churros!"

"The message in question was highly disorientated. No reasonable person would look at that and think you were serious."

Leo looked at the message.

 _Leonardo: Chuuuuuuuurrooooos! I want churros!_

 _Anoushka: Is that all?_

 _Leonardo: I just want churros. Make me churros. I want churros. I want churros! I want- awww, Alma is so cute! Look at her lil' paws! She's- noooooo stop! You can't drink alcohol! Shuuuush. Come here. See! I have your favourite beef! That's a good girl. I love you so much. You're so cute! I wish you could eat chocolate. Chocolate custard! Can she make custard? Hey, can you make custard?_

 _Anoushka: Are you drunk?_

 _Leonardo: Yiiiiip!_

 _Anoushka: Bye._

 _Leonardo: Kay, kay. Bye-bye!_

"Soooo... can you make chocolate custard?"

"... I don't have the recipe."

"Ok, can you make the recipe?"

"Probably."

"Good answer!" He grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"Kidnapping you!"

"Why?"

"To bring you back to my lab so you can give me churros and custard!"

"I can invent the recipe at home. I have all the available equipment and help set up already."

"Don't worry about that! I'll build a new building for you if you want."

"I can do that myself. I'll text you the recipe."

"Yeah but what if I want you to make me churros?"

"You have the same eyes as me. You can see who has talent and I'm sure you have a few good chefs on staff."

"Yeah but they're not _you_. They're not from the old world. They'll never have that touch."

"I can train one-"

Leo swerved to the side. "Company~~~"

A group of three ninja surrounded Leo. "Put down the girl!"

 _New message from Anoushka_

 _I will be playing unconscious. Please mention the letter and churros._

 _Enter chat_

 _Leonardo: But why?_

 _Anoushka: Our relationship is already suspect because of the letter. They will suspect I willingly went with you.  
_

 _Leonardo: So?_

 _Anoushka: They could seize my assets. You may not be able to come to my restaurants anymore._

Leo twirled around, holding her limp body into the light. "Nope! She's on my staff list now! She'll be stuck in the kitchen making me churros and custards and caramels and ice creams and gelatos and soft cream and frozen yogurt and sundaes and- and- and um... popsicles? Yeah, lots of things!" He threw her up in the air and caught her before hugging her. "If you really try and kill me... well, that's not possible with your levels. But you can definitely succeed in killing her. Wanna have a go at it?"

The ninja hesitated. "Why are you attacking?"

"Stalling for time? Sure! Cause I wanted churros!"

"What are churros?"

"The most amazing food in the world!" Leo frowned. "Actually, no... but it's still pretty amazing. And she can make churros so I'm taking her!"

"… So why did you attack?"

"Because I wanted churros!"

"Yes, but why did you attack?"

"Are you guys dumb? Churros! I wanted churros! She wasn't leaving Konoha anytime soon so I came to her! I even sent a letter beforehand warning her! So you see, it's her fault. If she'd just given me the churros, none of this would happen."

"…"

"…"

"… You attacked our village… for food."

"Yep!" Leo smacked her once. "Now I have my very own recipe generator! Happy times~!" He swerved his head to the side. "Ohhh, reinforcements! Hmm… oh, this one would be nasty. Bye-bye!" Leo hopped on his giant pig with her slung over his shoulder and flew away.

* * *

 _Four days later_

 _To my most honourable Father,_

 _Thank you for all that has been granted to me. Thank you for giving me a home and the ability to serve. Unfortunately, I am not able to repay you now but I have not given up hope. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and that has proven true thus far. My captor is besotted with my services and I hope to one day convince him to do the right thing. He is a careless and self-serving man but not inherently cruel. Don't worry. As long as I obey quietly, nothing too distasteful should befall me._

 _I may not be able to touch the lives of as many people here but there are still things that I may do. Many of his 'staff' are slaves. He has many buildings filled with the wives and children of desired 'employees'. I can't do much but I can give them food and company. In that sense, I am luckier than them. I will try my best to give him no reason but please stay safe._

 _I do not wish for all my work to be naught. Please. Until I return, hand all of my work to Shikamaru. He knows everything about my work and what I want. He has a good heart and I am sure he will continue my work. It wasn't easy to convince him to allow me to send this letter. Please._

 _Your daughter,_

 _Ikeda Yoshiko_

* * *

 _Three days later_

"Are you alright, Shikamaru? Shikamaru? Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru slowly looked up at his father's face. "Yes." He picked up his chopstick and dug them into his rice. "I'll busy."

"You don't have to take up her work."

"She'll return."

"There's no such guarantee." Shikaku said.

"Yes." He chewed his rice. "If she's given up hope, she'll probably send another letter. But besides that… I don't know what I would do with myself if I stopped."

Shikaku sighed. "You've been caught by the work trap."

"Un."

"Chouji isn't happy about that. Chouza says he's rather upset."

"It can't be helped. I like him but… it's in a more distant manner. As in, I appreciate him but talking to him… I don't have anything to talk about with him."

"Well, that happens. Children grow up at different times and friends drift apart."

"I don't want Chouji to grow up."

"… Well, if this is what you want to do, I won't stop you. Just remember not to abandon your duties to the clan."

"I get that."

"…"

"…"

"… Even if she returns, she may not be the same person. I've seen what Reonarudo does to his slaves. We have to stop people from killing themselves in the interrogation sector. Some of them don't even look human anymore. It's likely she would return as a spy."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

"She is somewhat suspicious."

"The letter, right? It is strange that they would share a code."

"There is a connection."

"I wouldn't be surprised."

Shikaku looked at his son carefully. "How do you feel about her?"

Shikamaru stared at his rice listlessly and shrugged. "I… she's… she's always there but not really. She always looks at things as an outsider. Including me. Including everything. It's just… distant. It's hard to form a connection with anything inside that shell sometimes."

"So how do you feel about her?"

"I…" Shikamaru took another mouthful of rice and chewed slowly. "I… even though she's not always there… she's always there. No, as in, she's just always physically around. And she always lives in the back of my mind. I have to know her plans, her location and her associates. Always. I always have to pay attention to her. I always have to watch her. I always have to know her. And now, she's just… not there. And it's weird. And… I don't like it. I think about what she would do and how she would do things and what she would say and… and everything. I don't know."

"Son, you miss her."

"Well… I… she was always a major presence in my daily life. My entire job was literally to manage her life so… I'm back to doing not much. And it's getting weird."

"You miss her."

"… Yes. I miss her."

"It's a natural thing."

"I don't know. I just didn't think I would."

"…"

"… What are her chances of returning?"

"If she really has no affiliation with him? Slim. Once her use is done, she'll be killed or experimented on. Especially with that strange ability of hers. Her brain has probably already been cracked. The best outcome would be for her to get ransomed back."

"So she's screwed either way. If she doesn't come back… she's dead or worse. If she does, she's a spy and she likely will never reach the same level of influence in Konoha circles."

"Yes."

"…"

"Sometimes, life is about picking the option that screws you over the least. You can't always win."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I don't know about that. She always takes the dumbest situations and make it seem like she intended it all along with some sweet and flowery language. She likes this phrase… what was it… 'history is written by the victors'. As long as she wins the war, she can rewrite all the lost battles. I wouldn't be surprised if she made it out without an affiliation and I wouldn't be surprised if she was affiliated all along."

"If she makes it out, there's a high chance her mind will have been corrupted. Reonarudo is known to employ mind controlling seals."

"But there's a chance she wouldn't be."

"Slim. Very slim. Then again, according to our profile, Reonarudo is an extremely volatile character that changes plans on a whim. If she can catch him on a good whim, there may be a chance. But don't get your hopes up."

* * *

 _Author's notes:_

 _This was a flashfire story so I'm surprised I even wrote this much. Either way, I will not guarantee further chapters but I do still have interest in this story. I don't like some of the first bits, as is expected. As a general rule, I do not like my work if it's more than a month old. I have some nice set pieces in my mind for this story so I'll try to write them out. I did have to skip some interesting scenes to get to this but so be it._


	11. Chapter 11

Leo shook her awake. She opened her eyes and jolted at the sight of the bright sky.

"Hello, sleeping beauty. We're currently cruising at umm…" he looked down past his flying pig "… let's just say 1,000 kilometres. We'll be in Meadows soon."

She sat up, smoothing up her torn clothing. "I see. Will I get new clothes?"

Leo eyed her critically. "Yeah… I don't really like that kimono. I don't like your dress sense in general. No kimonos in my house. Also, your makeup looks terrible. I hate makeup. Wash it off."

"Do you have anything I can cover up with?"

"Hmm… it doesn't really matter but…" Leo flipped through his storage and pulled out a hooded cloak. "Here."

She equipped it. "Will I be working with others?"

"Huh?"

"When making recipes."

"Oh, well, I have many zombies at base. You can pick any one of them if it means I get churros faster. I'll make sure everyone knows you're a Class 1C so nobody will touch you." He clapped his hands together. "I know! I'll gather everyone in the hall and make the announcement! That way, you can do talent assessment and pick the best ones out of everyone! Go, me!"

"Class 1C?"

"Oh, I have a sort of caste system in all my bases. Let's everyone know their places better. To motivate them a little, you can get upgraded or downgraded within your level but transferring between classes is rare. Classes go from 1 to 5 and levels go from A to E."

"That sounds like an interesting system."

Leo grinned. "I know, right? I stole it from another player and made it better by adding the levels. That way, the lower classes are less likely to rebel because the level As and Bs are busy maintaining their level and dominating the Es and the lower levels have hope of progression and revenge against people of their own class. That way, they're more focused on gaining the system than taking it down. And once they've gained from the system and participated in their corruption…" Leo laughed. "Humans are so simple! In order to stay on the moral high ground, they start rationalising. Before you know it, they are supporting the system as the natural order of things. It's amazing how corrupt people can get if you hand them a little power. It's always hilarious to see the Class 4As and 5As abusing the Es as if they have any importance. Infighting and small-mindedness is always funny."

"And how do you deal with those who rebel?"

"We have mental health checks. I have a system of mind readers who all report back to me. All rebellious thoughts are noted and they are reconfigured once they pass a threshold. The Class 1s and 2s all have personal files. The tricky and important ones have mental checks, slave seals _and_ rooms in my insurance building! Rebellion is impossible."

"Insurance building?"

Leo's eyes lit up. "Oh, it's a marvellous bit of engineering and architecture! I'll give you a tour! It's completely secure. Escape is impossible yet the inside looks like a luxurious hotel. It has gyms, swimming pools, casinos, spas, anything you could want! I love all the pretty lights!"

"What's it for?"

"Hostages, of course!"

"I see. You seem like you have a pretty efficient system there."

Leo's eyes positively sparkled as he grasped her hands. "Really? You like it?"

"Could you give me a tour?"

Leo let out a muffled high pitched squeal and tackled her to the ground. "Finally! Someone who appreciates my work! Even Princess and Hitoshi gave me that silly disgusted look!" He pulled back to look at her face. "I knew I wasn't wrong, I knew it! You're one of me!"

There was a deep rumbling noise and the pig vibrated. Leo smiled. "We're in Meadows!"

They landed five minutes later at the edge of a small town. Despite its size, it had a huge fortified wall and the gates swung open for him. People kneeled with their heads buried in the soil as the two of them passed through the streets.

"There's a lot of shops for such a small place."

"It's close to the border so I stop here a lot. I'll show you my tenth favourite sweet shop later!"

"Okay."

They walked into a large clothing shop with shining floors and no other customers. There were men's and women's wear, accessories, makeup, jewellery, shoes, everything. The shopkeeper locked the doors and put up a sign saying 'Reonarudo-sama is visiting'.

"How may I serve you, Reonarudo-sama?"

"I need clothes for my friend over here. Meet Anoushka! She's kind of cute but the makeup and stiff clothes ruin everything."

"Are you looking for casual wear?"

"Yeah."

"Please come over here."

The shopkeeper passed clothing after clothing to Leo. He chucked most of them and handed the approved ones to her.

"You may wash your makeup here, Anushika-sama. The changing rooms are right next to the toilet."

Leo tapped his feet against the ground. When she emerged, he blinked. "What."

She looked at him blankly. "Is it that surprising?"

Leo sputtered. "You look like a kid!"

"Yes."

"But-but-you-"

"Makeup. High shoes. Long dresses."

Leo squinted at her tight tee and jeans. "I thought you'd look good in it but… nah, you'll just attract all sorts of wrong attention."

"Then I'll change back-"

"I hate those stuffy kimonos. No dresses in my house."

"I'll wear a skirt-"

"No! I hate those too."

"So no dresses, no skirts and no pants."

"Yeah!"

"…"

"… Oh wait."

"…"

"Pants. You can wear yoga pants."

"Those don't exist."

"Then I'll make them exist."

"And until such a time, what do I wear?"

"Umm…"

"Skirts with shorts underneath."

Leo considered this for a moment before nodding. "Knee length. With a nice button down." He beamed, looking extremely pleased with himself. "There! And you can wear some flats and you'll look like a smart office lady! It's still stiff but it kind of suits you!" He nodded to himself.

"With makeup."

"But-"

"It's makeup or me looking like a kid."

Leo scrunched his nose. "Seeing you as a kid is super weird. Grandma fits you better. Actually, how old are you?" Leo gasped. "I'm old enough to be a grandpa! I never thought of that!"

"So I'll get her to arrange it?"

"Yep!" Leo turned to the shopkeeper and waved his hand carelessly. "Go do that," he ordered.

She emerged in an off-white button down, straight black skirt and heels, her strides long and her hips swaying slightly from the change in heels. Leo walked up to her and stuck his face right in front of hers as he studied her face.

"Hmm," he said. "How much makeup is that? I can't tell."

"Does it matter?"

Leo shrugged. "Well, it looks natural enough." He scanned her body again and nodded approvingly. "You look smart and fancy. I'm sure everyone will like you."

After a quick break at the coffee shop, they took to the skies. Leo took a nap on the pig while she did a few Sudoku puzzles. They arrived at break of dawn. Fires were lit to announce his arrival and everyone knelt, stock still with a few sneaking some peeks at the woman that arrived with their master.

"Welcome to the puppy base!" Leo said as he flourished his arm dramatically.

"Puppy base?"

"Well, the official name is… umm… you can look it up on the map but I call it the puppy base because it has the biggest puppy room."

"Puppy room?"

"I have a room full of pups in all my bases."

"That sounds like a splendid idea."

Leo grinned. "Right? Hitoshi-chan thinks it's dumb and a waste of money but puppies are never a waste and god damn it, I have money to waste."

The pair walked into a large hall. Fearlessly standing before them in the middle of the room was a dark man with hooded eyes and a scruffy beard and moustache.

"Hiiiitooooshiii!" Leo cried gleefully as he dashed over to the lean man, picked him up and twirled him around. "Lemme read your mind! I missed you!"

Hitoshi sighed and the both of them stilled for a moment, eyes cloudy before Leo's smile widened and he put Hitoshi down.

"I'll introduced Anoushka to everyone tomorrow… well, today now."

Hitoshi did a quick scan of her, giving her a nod and acknowledging her presence before looking back at Leo. "What headband do you intend on giving her?"

"Hmm… 1B? Red would look a lot better on her than blue."

Hitoshi gave a well-worn sigh. "Reonarudo-sama, status is very important. Please don't hand her such a high position because you think red looks better."

"But it does! Most of the clothes I got her are white and black because I didn't like the look of colour on her and I like the red-white-black scheme a lot better than blue-white-black. Besides, what's the real difference between 1B and 1C? She's still going to be among the top 10 highest ranked staff in any base she's in."

Hitoshi gave up and shook his head before turning to her. "I am Takayama Hitoshi, Reonarudo-sama's second-in-command."

She bowed her head. "Anoushka. I presume myself to be a food researcher. Pleasure to meet you."

Hitoshi nodded. "The same." He turned back to Leo. "I'll get Anushika-san signed up. Your dog misses you."

Leo's eyes brightened. "My poor girl!" Without another glance, he vanished from their eyes.

Hitoshi beckoned her to follow. "I'll enter you into our records and give you your headband."

She followed. "Headband?"

Hitoshi gestured to his own forehead where a single black dot on a white cloth lay. "It shows your status. The number of dots are your class and the colour is your level. It's like the ninja forehead protector. As long as it's clearly visible, it doesn't have to be on your forehead. At the registry, you'll get a handbook and orientation materials and I've specially arranged a zombie show you around."

"Zombie?"

"Broken doll soldiers. Classless slaves. Stick children who've given up on life. You'll know one when you see one."

"I see."

"… What's your connection to Reonarudo-sama?"

"Why do you ask?"

"No matter how much he likes food, 1B is an absurdly high rank to give to a cook. I believe the highest rank in the food department is a 3C. What's more, you're getting a bypass on the standard security measures."

"You mean the mind reading and slave seals?"

"Yes."

"Who know? Maybe he likes seeing me with a single red dot in the middle of my forehead."

Hitoshi watched closely as she smiled at a joke he couldn't grasp. "You have history with him?"

"You could say that. Or maybe it's the red dot on a white background that does it for him. Who knows?"

"Reonarudo-sama's mind works in strange ways on a good day."

They continued this manner of chat until they reached an office where her chakra and blood was taken and put into a book and a headband.

"If anyone tries to take the headband, the office will be alerted and the headband will burn," Hitoshi explained.

She took the headband and placed it around her neck. "To prevent fakers?"

"Pretty much. Trying to pass off as another class is punishable by death."

She scanned the office, taking note of the colour of all their headbands. "I see."

"Well, there's your zombie. See you around."

Hitoshi left and a little naked boy with protruding ribs bowed to her.

"Anushika-sama," his voice rasped. "Please follow me."

She followed the boy as he showed her around.

"This is the administration building."

"This is the cafeteria for 4s and 5s. The mass kitchen is behind."

"These are the lower dorms for 4s and 5s."

"This is the gathering hall. It's general purpose. Bookings can be made with the administration."

"These are the 5th set of training rooms. Bookings can be made with the administration."

"This is the 3rd weapon room."

"This is the weapons repairing room."

"These are the zombification building."

"This is the zombie residence."

"This is the discipline building."

"This is the insurance building."

"These are the upper dorms for 3s."

"This is library. Different sections require different levels of authorisation."

"These are the study areas."

"These are the research labs."

"This is the animal holding area. Animals and failed zombies stay here."

"This is the medical area. You will be called for a check-up periodically."

"This is the mental health facility. You will be called for a check-up periodically."

"This is the food hall for 2s and 3s. 1s can go here or get special room service."

"This is where the food department works. It includes multiple cooking areas, storage areas for different ingredients and a lab."

"These are the private rooms for 2s."

"That is the Great Master's building. Special authorisation or invitation is required to get in."

"This is your private suite."

She dismissed the zombie and was greeted by a maid. "Good afternoon, Anushika-sama. I am-"

"Leo told me I would get to choose my staff. Did you hear anything about that?"

"N-no… I was told to be here…"

"Do you know who chose you?"

"I think it was the administration office."

She looked at the maid for a few more seconds. "I don't really like you."

Fear entered the maid's eyes. "Umm… I'm sorry! Is there anything I can-"

"No, it has nothing to do with you. What were you doing before?"

"I cleaned the private rooms. Before that, I was a scullery maid."

"If I can't find someone better then you, I suppose you could go back to doing that." The maid twitched. "What's wrong?"

"No, it's just that I got promoted to serve you. Being a D or an E means you get pushed around a lot…"

"I see. I'll be in the gathering hall in two hours. You'll get your answer by today."

* * *

Yukari stood at the back of the gathering hall with the rest of the kitchen staff. None of them were really sure what the gathering was for but everyone immediately stiffened up when the Master burst through the door to the balcony in the front overlooking the masses with a golden retriever in his arms.

"Greetings, my workers!" He declared. Behind him emerged a severe-looking lady. Her hair was in a tight bun and her headband was around her neck. Yukari couldn't see the dots from this distance. "This is Anoushka! The newest Class 1 and my personal friend! I wouldn't accept any type of nonsense or foolishness around her! Now, she's going to be help me with some very important work and I promised her she can pick anyone to help her. I expect complete obedience from anyone she chooses." He looked back at Anoushka. "Take it away!"

Anoushka approached the railing of the balcony and pulled out a pair of binoculars and an abacus. The hall was tense as they waited for her to finish looking over the crowds with only the light clicking of the abacus ringing through the air. After what felt like an hour, she put down her binoculars and said something to the Master. The Master _put down his dog_ in order to pick her up and jumped off the balcony, landing on the stage in front of the crowd. He then jumped back up to the balcony as she walked up and down the rows of men. Occasionally, she would stop in front of someone to ask them questions and ask them to stand by the side. It took quite a while for her to get to the back of the hall where Yukari was and Yukari caught a glimpse of the single red dot on her band. 1B.

As if sensing her thoughts, Anoushka stopped in front of Yukari. "How long have you been working in the kitchen?"

"Umm… Six years, ma'am!" Yukari hesitantly stuttered. Her heart pounded. As a 5C, Yukari's life was fairly average. She'd worked hard to get promoted. She didn't want to ruin it by accidentally offending a Class 1.

"Are you from this country?"

"Yes! A small village a little south!" She squeaked.

Anoushka's cold, pale face examined her's for a few more seconds before coming to a decision. "You'll do. Go stand by the side."

"Y-yes ma'am!" She scurried to the side as her heart sank and rose and sank again. She prayed this Anoushka wasn't as fickle as the Master and some of the 1s and 2s and she prayed she wasn't going to be cleaning up corpses or be involved in experiments. There was a chance of promotion but if she messed up…

Being a zombie was a fate worse than death.

* * *

Osaaki opened the shrine door to the sorry sight of his beloved wife kneeling and crying before the shrine. He padded over to her and knelt beside her, gathering her in his arms as she sobbed and wailed. The light and bounce that Yoshiko once filled her was hollowed out and replaced with grief, desperation and sorrow, dark emotions that a lady such as Atsuko should never have to know and for the hundredth time, Osaaki swore revenge on the Country of Meadows. If it meant war with Earth, so be it.

"She'll come home, right?"

Osaaki kissed her forehead. "Of course she will. She has always been blessed. She will be protected her."

* * *

"Ikeda-sama will come home, right?"

Shikamaru turned towards Sachiko as she fiddled with the sleeves of her dress. He turned back to looking out the window. "Accidents happen and miscalculations are always possible. Perhaps this is naïve but I believe she will return. From what I've researched, this Reonarudo isn't very careful or thoughtful and gets drunk a lot. She could probably convince a man like him to do something stupid."

"I've heard a lot of horrible things about Reonarudo…"

"It's alright. She has always had that annoying ability and sense of hers. She'll find a way." Shikamaru sighed. "I hate her. She's so annoying, making me so busy. Where does she get off, dumping all her work and baggage on me?"

"Umm… I may be wrong, but I think you chose to-"

"Shuddup."

* * *

Two weeks in and most of Yukari's fears had subsided as she settled into her new routine. She was Anoushka's general personal attendant and did things like clean the mistress's suite, pick out her clothes, pass messages and so on. When those were done, she headed to the food department to help out with her mistress. As it turned out, her mistress was just here as a chef and most of the day was spent trying out combinations of flour, water and eggs. She oozed calm and never gave impossible orders to everyone's relief. Yukari would've wondered why her mistress was so highly ranked if not for the Master popping in every day to chat with her.

"Hey, Anoushka?"

"What is it?"

"How long till the cake is ready?"

"One hour."

The Master pouted. "It looks tasty."

"It will take an hour. I can't change the laws of physics and chemistry."

The Master made a grumbling noise and everyone stood on edge. Nothing good happened when the Master was grumpy. Anoushka simply sighed. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"Yes. I managed to dig up some saffron from the spice cabinet." Anoushka handed him a plate of rice.

The Master's eyes rounded. "Is that- That is-"

"Yes. Paella is popular the world over so I know a bit. I don't think this is authentic but I'd like to hear your thoughts."

The Master took a spoon and slowly chewed the rice. To the shock of everyone in the kitchen, he started crying.

He sobbed, choked on the food and hastily tried to swallow it. Anoushka handed him a glass of water.

"How was it?"

"It- it tastes like fancy box paella." The Master sniffed and and wiped away his tears but they kept falling. "Ma used to throw random leftovers into it."

"I see."

The Master looked down at the plate. "Don't you miss it? Your home."

"I've never had one."

"… That's… sad."

Anoushka raised her eyebrows. "Sad? Me?"

Master looked her in the eyes. "Yes. Sad."

They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Anoushka closed her eyes and broke eye contact. "I've never felt strongly with any group. Not a family, not a country… maybe not even a world."

"I loved my Ma and my woman more than anything. They're probably dead now though."

"How about Princess?"

"Princess? She's the most entertaining thing in this world. I fell for her a little when she punched me in the face but I'd turn her into a zombie in a heartbeat if I could get my Ma back." He studied Anoushka carefully before patting her head. "Make more of this. I'll give you anything you need."

* * *

"What's wrong, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked up to see the concerned eyes of Hinata and looked back down to the ground. "Yoshiko-nee is gone. Kidnapped."

"Kidnapped?! During the invasion?"

Naruto nodded.

"Who?"

"They don't know."

"I-I see."

"…"

"… It-it'll be alright! We'll rescue, right? We'll get stronger and rescue her!"

Naruto thought about it for a moment before nodding. "You're right, Hinata-chan! We'll save her!"

* * *

 _Two weeks later_

 _Anoushka's private suite_

"Umm… Anushika-sama?"

Anoushka looked up from her papers to look at Yukari. "What is it?"

"What's… what is your relationship with Reonarudo-sama?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Nothing! I'm just curious."

"It's not that different from your relationship with him. He just happens to like me more."

"R-really? You're not his… girlfriend or anything?"

"It has yet to occur to him that I am a woman."

"I-I see. You're… just friends?"

"… Why are you here?"

"Y-you chose me to serve you…?"

"No, why are you in his service?"

"I get two meals a day, clothes on my back and a futon to sleep in. I even make enough to send a little back home and it's one less mouth to feed for my family. It's impossible for a little farm girl like me to find better work. Reonarudo-sama saved our village from the famine three years ago. He may have his bad parts but he's the best thing that has ever happened to this country."

"Even though he floods the country with drugs and regularly enslaves and tortures people?"

Yukari frowned. "It's not like the Haga dynasty was any better! The people who take drugs are the wrong ones, not Reonarudo-sama. Most of the zombies are gamblers, criminals or foreigners sold by their parents and their countries. They were doomed anyway. When we were hungry, Reonarudo-sama fed us. When we were sick, Reonarudo-sama took care of us. When we were attacked, Reonarudo-sama protected us. He's a great man!"

"Then you are here of your own free will?"

"Yes!"

"I see. And I presume most people with any status are here freely?"

"Only the zombies are really slaves. I heard that some of the 2s didn't like it at first but I don't see how they can complain when they have such nice food and their own rooms."

"Ethics aside, from what I've seen, many of them are renowned researchers and other intellectuals. They probably had a life of relative comfort before. To them, this is a downgrade."

"Yeah but now they get to do important work for Reonarudo-sama. Many people would love to be in their position."

Anoushka sighed. "Well, it's an interesting system."

* * *

Leo sat with her in one of his many private rooms as he munched on the omelette.

"If I still believed in Him, I'd say you were a godsend, Anoushka." Beside him, Alma whined and brushed her snout against Leo's arm. Leo patted her head and gave her a piece of egg. "But make a portion for Alma next time."

"Christian?"

"Yeah, catholic. My aunt and her family were protestant though. It was super awkward sometimes. But I was never really serious about it and I don't really care about any gods. You?"

"No affiliation."

"Your family?"

"Hindu. My eldest brother converted to Islam though."

Leo winced. "Oh, _god_."

"It was a little awkward at times."

"I can just imagine the family dinners. I hate family gatherings. Just the thought of it makes me shudder. Everyone pretends to be nice and love you but you know half of them are ashamed to be related to you. I prefer politics so much more. At least the politicians are honest to themselves about their desire to kill you." He paused to take another bite. "Also, I can read people's minds and enslave them in this world. Makes things _soooo_ much easier."

"… Do you really want to return?"

"Return? Nah. I just want to be able to visit once in a while. I wasn't really good for anything in the old world. Here, I have almost everything I want. You?"

"… The innate power difference between players and NPCs cannot be understated. It's a little… boring."

"Who were you?"

"I switched jobs a lot. You?"

"Failed scientist, you could say. I had a small alcohol and drug… thing. And I wasn't good at organisation. But now, I have many splendid, talented and motivated individuals doing that for me! Ah, life is wonderful."

"Doesn't it get boring?"

"Nope! I can get almost anything I want!" He frowned. "Except good food apparently. Japanese food is nice but it sure gets boring after a while. And it's like spicy doesn't even exist."

"It is rather bland. No spices."

"I would bet. I look forward to eating the fruits of your labour."

"Should I train your kitchen staff?"

"Yes! More food, the better! Just walk into the kitchen and start yelling at them. You have a high enough rank to do that."

* * *

Shikamaru slammed his head into the desk. "Arggggh. I'm dying."

Sachiko came around the corner and placed some cold soda on his desk.

"Sachiko-san, have I ever told you how much I loved you?"

Sachiko smiled and flipped her hair. "No, but you are welcome to tell me more."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. He dispelled his henge and downed the soda. After consuming half of it, he placed it back down and suddenly said:

"I wish I was a girl now."

Sachiko raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"It's awfully tiring to keep up that henge but I don't get respect unless I look like an adult. Yoshiko can just put on a kimono and some makeup and she looks fancy as hell."

"Do you want to be married off and pump out babies?"

"I suppose not. But at least I can laze about and paint my nails. If I'm pregnant, I'll have even more excuse to do nothing."

"Perhaps that's how it is for the upper-class folk," Sachiko said stiffly. "Do you need anything else?"

"No."

Sachiko turned and walked away.

* * *

"You should come home more often," his mother admonished.

"Hmm."

She sighed. "Is there anything you want for Christmas?"

"I want a little brother."

"…"

"…"

"…"

Shikaku sighed. "I guess."

"Shikaku?" Mother cried.

Shikaku looked her in the eye. "It means date nights once a week."

"… You could do that?"

"I'll file it under 'matters of clan security'. Hokage-sama wouldn't deny my leave."

She considered. "Hmm… okay."


	12. Chapter 12

"Are you alright, Nara-sama? You practically live here."

Shikamaru sighed. "Date nights once a week apparently means getting drunk and stumbling through the door hitting and flirting with each other. The traditional homes have _very_ thin walls."

"Hitting?!" Sachiko voiced incredulously.

"Yeah. Dad says something snide, Mum elbows him, Dad pinches her, Mum smacks him, Dad knees her and before you know it, they're wrestling in the middle of the living room and I'm curled up with my blanket around my ears. They've also been a lot more… friendly lately. So I'm hiding out here until they get it out of their system."

"I… see. I suppose ninja are a little different. Still, it's not good for a young boy to be too far from his mother and father."

"I'll go back when Yoshiko comes back."

Sachiko sighed. "The two of you are really twins."

"Nah. I'm human. She's a solid block of ice."

"I'm sure she's the type of lady who's sweet to those she loves."

"Then she doesn't love anyone."

* * *

She startled as hands reached up from behind her and pinched her cheeks. She whirled around and backhanded the person who grabbed her only to freeze as Leo laughed and backed away.

He rubbed his cheek. "You _really_ don't have much strength, do you?"

She lowered her hand and closed her book. "It can't be helped."

"No talent?"

"Did you need to come through the window? It's late."

"It's convenient. And I don't really pay attention to the time." He glanced at the clock. "You're up late."

"I don't need sleep."

"But you still feel sleepy, right?"

"Anyway, all doors are open to you here. There are more security measures on the window."

"I put them there. I know how to dismantle it."

"Really?"

"Well, my research team developed it and my talent for ninjutsu is pretty crazy. I may also have acquired some Uchiha sperm _waaay_ back by getting one of my agents to jerk off a horny teenage genin and gotten some eyeballs out of the deal. Actually, I've gotten a surprising amount of power by jerking off people with fancy eyeballs and stuff. Bypasses a lot of the usual security measures."

"I would've thought that sort of thing would be much more common here."

"One of my breeders died when the babies literally _ate_ its way out of their mother. So, you know. It's a bit harder to do that sort of stuff legally. Ethics and all that stuff but I'm sure they still try. They're just not that good at it because they haven't figured out how to poach the best medics and researchers. In general, it's much harder to do than normal because chakra compatibility and other genetic factors. Kekkei genkai pregnancies are full of shenanigans but my fertility lab is the best in this world. In order to-"

He spent the next two hours regaling grand tales of 'material acquisition' and 'standard procedure'. She sat there, nodding, humming and chiming in at the right moments while flipping through a few books. Leo didn't mind her multi-tasking and babbled on proudly about all the advancements he had made. He paused after a while and sat there, staring at her face.

"What are you reading?"

"A collection of taijutsu moves."

"But you can't use it right?"

"It's still interesting."

"Is that so?"

"I'd be a ninja if I could."

"You must have had a really bad dice roll on your stats."

"Pretty much."

Leo pouted. "That's such a shame. I would love to be able to punch you in the face without you dying on me."

"Why would you want to do that?"

"I like punching things." He paused and thought for a moment. "Oh! Especially women I like! Maybe that's why I want to punch you sometimes."

"…"

"Oh, um… not in that way. Um… how do I explain it?"

"…"

"You're really not bothered?"

"About?"

"What I do."

"There is nothing I can do about it one way or another. Worrying about what you can't control is detrimental."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"Then what is it?"

"I meant… you know, morally. Don't you think I'm disgusting?"

"While you seem to vaguely acknowledge the existence of common moral doctrine, you do not stand by or even understand them at times. You do not make decisions in the moral realm."

"You like to use a lot of big words."

"… Simply put, you are morally no different from a cat that plays with its food."

Leo burst out laughing. "That's a nice way to put it! Are you calling me a monkey?"

"In the best way possible."

"But aren't you disgusted somewhere inside you? You may think that but isn't there an instinctual icky feeling inside of you?"

"Would you believe me if I said no?"

"Hmm…" He stood abruptly and slung her over his shoulder before hopping out the window.

She sighed and stored her book away. "Must you?"

"It's faster this way!"

"Where are we going?"

"The dungeons! We're going to torture someone!"

The scenery zoomed by too fast for civilian eyes to catch and they arrived at a building to the left of the food hall. He opened it. Everyone bowed as he walked past them.

"Could you put me down now?"

"Oh! Yeah, sure."

She walked beside him. The facility was brightly lit and most people milling about were Class 4s and slaves. Many slaves were naked with protruding bones and bowed heads. A few flicked their eyes up to meet hers before averting them. Her gaze locked onto a shelf.

"That's…"

Leo followed her gaze. "Yeah, those are guns."

"You made them?"

"Stole them from Princess. She was _suuuuuuper_ pissed about that. Had to buy her three new castles. Most jounin have techniques to enhance their kunai throws so it's kinda useless to them even if the fire rate is higher than they can throw. Still, we're working on combining the bullets with seals and such stuff. It's super expensive at the moment but I'm really wanna see how insane we can make guns. For now, we give them to zombies."

"That sounds interesting. How long does it usually take to train a zombie?"

"Depends. A month to fully train them to do stuff but maybe a week to break them enough. They learn pretty quick to obey and keep their head down, especially the little ones. My director only needs three hours! Her genjutsu is really scary."

"Do you usually use genjutsu?"

"It's much faster and cheaper than the old fashioned way. Medicine is crazy expensive and medics are _so_ hard to get. I've managed to poach a few righteous ones for medical research but surprisingly few people are willing to heal my zombies. Kids are also really easy to kill. This is basically the genjutsu training ground. The old fashioned stuff is for the tougher ninja with high genjutsu defences."

"I see."

She was led to a cell with around a dozen kids crammed inside. They shrunk back a little as they entered the cell, their eyes tracking their movements. Leo glanced over them.

"Umm… well, they're quiet enough but not quite zombie enough. My genjutsu is only okay but…" Leo placed his hand over the closest kid. The girl backed away but Leo grasped her face tightly so she couldn't move away. "Listen up, kid. When a superior grabs you, you don't run away. Got it?"

The girl started screaming and thrashing about, her voice shrill, cracking and chocking as bile burned her throat. Her gnarled fingernails tore at her captor, chipping and breaking as they did little more than mess with his clothes. She kicked and bit and cried and screamed and puked, all to no effect as he tilted her head to the side to avoid any bile and saliva.

He lifted his hand up and sighed as the girl turned to the side and retched. "You're lucky it's me. You struggled too much. You could've scratched someone up like that, you know? That would be nasty for you." He fished her up by the hair. "Let's try that again, shall we?"

Her sobbing intensified. "No… please! No! Please! I'll-"

He sighed impatiently. "Why do people always misunderstand when I try to be nice? That wasn't a request. I was kindly informing you that we will be doing this again. You do not have a choice. You will not beg, you will not struggle and you will not try to change the mind of your superiors. Got it? We are doing this again until you stop struggling."

The girl started her shrill shrieks for a few seconds before her voice gave out and she coughed and choked on her own liquids. Her stick arms flailed with less force each time and her legs scraped against her captor's boots.

Leo paid her little heed. Instead, his eyes were trained on the expressionless face behind him.

"You really didn't react."

"If I thought this was distasteful, I wouldn't react. It would just give you ammunition anytime you want to disturb me, ultimately resulting in more casualties. Either way, I wouldn't react."

"You say that but natural human reactions aren't easy to suppress. Look," he said, waving the girl about by the hair. "I'm a man of my word… mostly. Well, not really but I'm gonna have to put her under again because she struggled. I doubt she'll get it this round so I'll just put her under until she passes out. Either you really don't care or you've seen some shit."

"I don't see why it can't be both."

Leo laughed and released the girl. She collapsed into a pile, sobbing and coughing. Leo looked down at her. "Hey, could you die quieter? Thanks." The girl put her hands over her mouth and curled up into a ball.

He walked away from her, instead choosing to pinch the cheeks and disturb the neutral face in front of him. She stared down at him, utterly unimpressed by his attempts as he slung his arm around her shoulder.

"What would disturb you?" He whispered conspiratorially in her ear.

"What would I tell you that?"

"Because I can take away everything you have and throw you in a dungeon?"

"A valid point. Living a life with no adequately spiced foods."

"Come on, you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure. If the world were to end in an hour, I would simply accept it and move on. It can't be helped. Why panic?"

"Hmm… what if I destroyed all your businesses and killed all your acquaintances?"

"There's nothing I can do if you decide to do that. I'll just have to build new businesses and find new acquaintances."

"Seriously?"

"Is it not perfectly reasonable?"

Leo shrugged. "I suppose. But that's boring! Even I have things that disturb me!"

"Like?"

"Dog killers."

"And?"

"Umm… people who eat with blood on their hands and under their fingernails."

"Fair enough."

Leo sighed. "Ahhh… I'm bored. Say, what do you find interesting?"

"… Learning… perhaps."

"That's boring… no, on second thought, I like that too. I just don't like reading stuff. That's boring."

"You just have to flip through it."

"But then you aren't absorbing it, aren't you?"

She looked at him weird. "You just have to activate auto-memory and-"

"You have auto-memory?!"

She blinked. "… Yes?"

"I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised. _You_ would do that."

"I'm surprised you don't have it."

"Levelling up memory is _soooooo_ tedious. I've tried it a dozen times but my brain cells died after like 15 minutes."

"But you've been around for a while, haven't you? Just from the passive gain and everyday casual use, I'd have thought you'd have gotten it by now."

He shrugged. "Turns out, alcohol and drugs give you a serious debuff to a ton of EXP gain. Especially memory."

"It's very useful and not that hard to get. It's just a lot of grinding."

"If it's not fun, what's the point? I hate grinding. I let other people do the grinding for me and then I just suck their brains out."

"We are… much more like zombies than they are."

He laughed. "Yeah, we're not really human anymore. After all, we-"

"We shouldn't talk here."

Leo looked down at the girl who curled further into a ball. "Well… the zombie training can be left to the scrubs."

He slung her over his shoulder again and stepped out of the cell only to stop to wave at a woman. "Oh, Kokomi-chan! So nice to see you! Lemme read your mind!"

The woman turned around, her movement stuttered a little as Leo invaded her mind. "Reonarudo-sama. And that is?"

"Oh, that's Anoushka."

Leo put her down and she straightened herself. She glanced at Kokomi's headband. 1A. "I am Anoushka. I do food research. It's a pleasure to be acquainted with you."

"You too. I'm the best mind breaker around and I'm in charge of networking. I've heard some things about you."

"Only good things, I hope."

"I've heard you're close with Reonarudo-sama."

"I-" She was cut off as Leo squeezed her within an inch of her life.

"Anushika is my new toy and food dispenser! She's a VVVVVIP. She is a completely unique fountain of knowledge when it comes to food. One of a kind. Can't find it anywhere else. Completely, really, truly, irreplaceable. No… Actually, it's technically possible but statistically speaking… hmm… someone of her type with her food knowledge would come maybe once in 3 centuries. Basically, I will be very pissed if anything happens to my paella machine. Much more pissed than if someone killed you, Kokomi. Oh, but I still love you, don't worry. You've been very useful and it's going to be _pretty_ hard to replace you when you die. I'll ruin whoever kills you. Actually… hmm… nah, even if it's Princess, I'll at least give her a bit of trouble."

"… The message has been noted."

"Good!" Leo re-slung her over his shoulder. "Then, bye-bye!"

He hopped out of the building. When they were a little further away, she whispered into his ear.

"That woman is an Uchiha. And her name is not Kokomi."

"Yeah! She's the one who jerked off… a whole bunch of people actually. The Konoha boys trusted her because she was an Uchiha and they thought she knew the importance of keeping the bloodline within the clan. Combined with scary acting skills, alcohol, drugs and genjutsu, lots of little genin fooled around with her. In fact, the eyes I have in my personal inventory are one of her son's. It's a shame human generations are so far apart. I have to wait like twelve years before the boys are fertile enough for me to basically have an infinite amount of sperm from all the bloodlines. She didn't bare all of them, obviously. I have many nice women who will bare kids for me for dirt cheap prices. I have a few dorms dotted around the country just for those lovely ladies. I'd show you but they are really quite plain and boring buildings."

"I'm surprised Konoha hasn't tried to raze you to the ground."

"They don't know. Kokomi faked her death splendidly once the fact that she was a whore and a cheater spread around. The whole 'I-can't-get-married-and-my-honour-is-ruined' shtick. A _lot_ of committed guys who thought she was in love with them were feeling very betrayed and it was getting a bit suspicious."

"How did you get her on side?"

"Oh, that was easy. While she was out, I murdered her sensei and genin team then broke and enslaved her. She was like 13 and very insecure. Cakewalk. Didn't even really mean to. I was just enjoying a walk and saw she had some really nice stats in the right places. Did you know that random walks are a great way to get random encounters?"

"… I see. That's… that's interesting."

* * *

"Good afternoon, Anushika-san."

She looked up to see Hitoshi, the second-in-command and personal babysitter of Leo. "Good afternoon, Takayama-san."

"What are you doing in the library?" He asked, peering over her shoulder to look at her choice of literature.

She shut the book and let him read the title before putting it back on the shelf. "On my quest to browse through every book in every section in every library I'm authorised to be in."

He raised his eyebrows briefly. "That's going to take you a few years to get through this base alone. This base has one of the most extensive knowledge networks."

"I'm a fast reader. What about you? What brings you here?"

"I was just wondering if you were up for lunch."

"What about at my residence? I've been training my maid's culinary skills and getting her to learn the new recipes I've been creating. Would you like to try it out?"

"That would some time and I wouldn't want to trouble you. I can get room service to deliver any time."

"Actually, it's about my lunchtime and I always get my maid to make extra. There's more than enough for the two of us and it should be fresh and hot by the time we get back. Wouldn't you help me eat some of it?"

"… Very well. I look forward to seeing your work."

She turned and walked in the direction of her residence with Hitoshi beside her.

"Speaking of your work, shouldn't you be working now? Why are you reading about ninjutsu?"

"After popping in at various hours of the day for well over two months now, it has occurred to Leo that I never seem to be sleeping or otherwise unoccupied. He is rather astounded, and delighted but mostly astounded, at my ability to resist the forces of sleep. Told me I was 'crazy' and that he 'didn't actually expect me to work 24/7 but whatever'. I took that to mean that an hour or two outside of work was permitted."

"Your lab is 24/7?"

"Yes. I have four shifts. Leo did grant me near infinite manpower, after all."

"He is a man of instant gratification. I suppose it's no surprise he prioritises food so highly."

"It's a little more than that but yes. How is your work going?"

"Thankfully, Reonarudo-sama hasn't come up with any overtly insane ideas recently." He looked her dead in the eye. "That rushed Konoha invasion was a complete pain to organise and he was _absolutely convinced_ it was a good idea."

"Well, was it?"

"It turned out… alright. We had some losses and some gains. I am _not_ a fan of making enemies of Fire though. In that sense, it's almost worse that we're allied with Earth."

"Wouldn't they attack if there is no alliance?"

"Maybe. Probably not. They obviously have internal problems now. That's the only reason why they haven't declared war. That and because Reonarudo-sama's organisation is _officially_ not affiliated with Meadows. If they attack us, we can do enough damage that Earth will be ready to pounce either way. It doesn't benefit Meadows to be caught in a proxy war between the two. Earth is… well, the daimyo isn't pleased with what we did but the Tsuchikage was all for it. He was very happy that we gave them a smack, that warmonger."

"You met the Tsuchikage?"

"No. I read the mind of our ninja ambassador but I would've known either way. The Tsuchikage has a long memory and a temper." Hitoshi sighed. "I hate being Head of All Things Diplomatic. Reonarudo-sama _never_ makes my job easy." His tone was bitter and harsh.

"His job titles are very literal."

"Yes, they are. By the way, your official title is 'Head of Sunshine Foodies'."

"'Sunshine Foodies'?"

"He was drunk and staring at the sun at the time and he declared the start of a bright new world or something of that sort. That really scared me. You seem to provoke some unwelcome ideas."

"I've never been much of a destabilising factor. That is certainly interesting."

"In any case, I took the liberty to make sure all the nameplates said 'Head of the Food Department' instead."

"Well, thank you."

"Don't worry about. It's just part of my job description. I always print 'Head of Diplomatic Relations' on all of my name cards. A lot easier to garner respect that way."

"From what I've heard 'All Thing Diplomatic' is a lot more accurate. Why are you here?"

"My wife and two daughters are in the hostage building and I have a slave seal on me. I'm not sure but I think I've had at least three major memory wipes. Probably because of rebellious thoughts."

"I see. How many people are actually here of their own will?"

"Mostly the lower retainers. He steals a lot of the intellectuals. This is a research facility so there's a higher amount of them than usual. There's also a much higher level of security as well. Escape is not possible. Do you know why he doesn't impose the usual security measures on you?"

"The game won't be fun if you could impose permanent status effects on other players. I've never come across one that allows you to do so."

"So… he's created a game and that's why he doesn't want to-" Hitoshi shook his head. "He's so arbitrary. And what 'game' are you playing?"

"I'm not sure. He makes up the rules as he pleases."

"That's no fun."

"He has very little self-control."

"… Does he want you to escape?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I get the feeling he's disappointed you're not stronger."

At this, she paused for a second. "… I can see that." She mulled over it for a few more seconds. "I see."

* * *

She stepped into the training room and was hit with a burst of chakra and bloodlust. In the middle was Leo, throwing about intensive jutsu like it was nothing. Around him were ninja with the forehead protector of the meadows, doing their best to coordinate a plan of attack.

"Oh, Anoushka! Come in, come in! We're almost done!"

She stepped in and leaned against the side of the walls, arms crossed over her chest as she examined the fight. Leo's HP was full and his MP recharged faster than he was spending it.

He cast an area jutsu and all the ninja around him were thrown against the wall with incredible pressure, bones snapping. Her back was flattened against the wall.

"Leo, stop!"

His eyes met her's. They trailed up above her head, froze and he instantly cancelled the jutsu, horrified.

"NO ONE IS TO STEP NEAR ANOUSHKA! ANYONE WHO DOES IS WORSE THAN DEAD!"

He appeared in front of her, hand hovering and face white. "I thought you said you could withstand collateral!"

"From you haphazardly landing your pig. It was the pig's stats, not yours. If you intend to hurt me at any time, I will die from you pinching my cheek."

"How… how close was I?"

"12 HP."

His eyes were fixated on the nearly empty bar above her. "If a ninja accidentally bumps into you now, you are dead."

"Pretty much."

"You… you stay here. You stay away from the door." He turned to face the room. "All of you are to guard the door! No one is to come in!"

The ninja looked at each other and one hesitantly spoke up. "Most of us can't move."

Leo pointed at the medic. "You! You can move."

"I have to heal them-"

"I don't care! You go stand by the door and make sure no one comes in! Tell the first person that passes by that all jutsu is banned in this building!"

The medic looked like he wanted to protest but he hastily scurried away.

Leo turned back to her. "How long till you recharge?"

"About 15 minutes."

"… You _really_ don't have much HP." He ran his hand through his hair. "Being around you is like being around a glass doll sometimes." He growled. "Why aren't there more, tougher people who also know how to make ravioli and pizza and dim sum?"

"About that… I actually came here to ask for time to train."

"I thought you weren't about that sort of thing."

"I don't have talent in many things required of a ninja. My multiplier on physical strength alone is probably enough to disqualify me. That doesn't mean I'm horrible at everything."

"I don't care, just get your defence up. I can't have you dying on me in my own base because I forget and smack you."

"Even if it takes away from the research?"

"If you die, all the food is gone! I'll get Hitoshi to arrange something for you."

"It's fine. As you know, conventional training methods don't suit us."

"Fine, whatever. Grab any trainer you want. You're a Class 1. You can just walk up and demand their attention."

"Can I read the books in the library?"

He thought about it for a while. "Most of it is fine. Go to Hitoshi for the authorisation."

"I understand."

* * *

"Boo!"

She turned towards him. "What do you want?"

Leo put on a fake pout. He knew he looked ridiculous but she still didn't laugh. He dropped it and sighed. "You're always in the library now."

"If you're worried about the food research, it's going smoothly. I've trained the staff to the point where they can carry out my orders competently enough. I just need to supervise."

"I know. I just came from the lab and I've seen the report."

"…"

"Anoushka… doesn't it get boring?"

"What gets boring?"

He waved his hand briefly. "Learning. Grinding. Life."

"… That's not like you."

He hugged her from behind. He wasn't quite sure why he liked to. She was warm but he knew if he cut her open, he's find nothing. They were zombies, through and through. "… You know, life was fun at first. Cracking my brains out on seals and stealing mind control jutsu from mind readers… the first years were hard. But I loved it. Now… now I have a cheat sheet. Once you have a slave seal, mind reading and someone's family, you can do anything you want. That's all you really need to start a nice little organisation. Once you find and enslave the right people, that's it. All you have to do is wait and not die and you'll see your empire rise. I have found someone who is better at seals than me. I've found someone who is better at mind reading than me. I've just about found the best people in every category. I'm not really needed." He sighed. "Life is boring sometimes. There's just not enough endgame content."

"Did something happen?"

"Not really. I just got bored of drinking."

"You're sober."

"Medical ninjutsu. I hate being sober. I hate being drunk slightly less." He squeezed her a little tighter. Her breath hitched and he dropped her faster than a blink, eyes darting up to her health bar in time to see her health recover just a blimp.

Still… he'd just hugged her a little tightly. And that had damaged her enough that he could _see_ it. If he hugged her for long enough, she would die.

 _Die…_

"Say… Anoushka?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think it's possible to revive a zombie? To revive us?"

"… As in?"

"There are techniques in this world that allow you to bring back the dead. From what I've gathered, when someone's HP reaches zero, their data gets stored and you can retrieve it with a jutsu. But I usually need DNA and all of our DNA gets removed when we die. If you stick around long enough, I will kill you accidentally. It would be very convenient if I could just revive you again."

"… My source of knowledge is not infinite. Eventually, I will run out of recipes."

"I know. But… I don't know. I don't know. If that happens, I think I'll just release you."

"… Really?"

"Really."

"Takayama-san will not approve."

"I know. But… like I said, once you figure out the basics, life is incredibly boring here. You're not annoying and you're smart. That's enough reason for me to let you out and hope you do something interesting."

"Do you just want to watch the world burn?"

He grinned. "Hell yeah!" He froze. "Oh. I…" He smiled. "I guess I do! Say, hypothetically speaking, what would be the most fun way to destroy the world?"

"… Enhance canine intelligence, enchant everyone to fall madly in love with dogs and welcome our new overlords."

He laughed at the image. "You know me so well!"

"You're not hard to know."

"I'm a simple man. You, on the other hand… why do women have to be so complicated?"

"I thought I was pretty straightforward."

"Yeah, but like… don't you get bored? You don't do anything interesting."

"These books are interesting."

"Really?"

"Some of them. Then what's interesting? Alcohol?"

"I have everything I want. What about you? Don't you want to be powerful? Don't you want to do anything? You're a player and you know how to gain the system. That's the best kekkei genkai in the game, easily. I'd trade a hundred sharingan just for our ability to see levels and talents. It's crazy OP. Yet you started a stupid orphanage and opened a bunch of schools. Why waste your time on them?"

"Leo… can we die of old age?"

"I'm not sure. I've never seen another player stick around for long enough to try it. For some reason or another, we seem to annihilate each other pretty quickly."

"If you had to guess?"

"No… no, I don't think we can. We can't grow and stuff. But I don't plan on sticking around for that long. I want to go out doing something crazy that I love. But I haven't figured out what yet."

"Then there's time aplenty."

"Maybe not. I could decide to kill you right now. Wouldn't even be hard."

"To live is to suffer. When I'm dead, I can't be upset about being dead so it's quite fine."

"… It's upsetting that I can't upset you."

"Why do you want to upset me?"

"Dunno. Cause it'll be fun? Is there anyone you love in this world?"

"Not particularly."

"Is there anyone? Anyone at all?"

"No. I have few people in my life."

"… That's sad. That's really sad."

"Do you have anyone?"

"I have Alma."

"And?"

"I had myself a girl a while back. She got killed. I set off three wars in her honour. Well… actually, nah. It was in my honour. If she found out, she would throw me out the window. Quite a few people she liked got killed, after all. But as you said, she's dead. She can't find out. So I should be safe."

"… Why do all the women you like have violent tendencies?"

"Who knows. Maybe cause they remind me of my Ma? If Ma could see me now, I'm sure she'd stab me to death. You kind of remind of the other girls I like but…" He gasped. "Oh! Maybe that's why I'm sad that you're not trying to stab me to death! Say, how do I make you want to stab me? You have no family and nothing you like a lot. Torturing you would just force you into sleep mode and you are _so_ easy to kill."

Her face was blank as he paced about the room, working himself up to a frenzy and tearing his own hair out. The hair strands vanished as they left his head and immediately reappeared in their rightful place.

"I can't think of anything," he muttered. "The physical methods to deal with NPCs don't work because of the sleep function. The mental methods to deal with other players, other people of my world… those don't work because you just… you just don't do anything!" He whirled around, face red and mouth curled back into a snarl. "Why! You're not like Chris or even Princess! You could be- you're me! Why can't you just- argh! Why don't you have any _**ambition?**_ Why don't you fight me?! Why don't you hate me?! Everyone does! Fight me! Destroy me! I want something in this goddamned world!"

"To be content with life… isn't that the goal? Isn't that your goal?" She closed her eyes. "I… work pretty hard to achieve that. I'm not always successful but that is the best route. And here you are, trying to destroy that for your temporary amusement. If you kill me now, I will have no regrets to tie me to this world. Aren't I… what you'd like to be?"

"…"

"Well, that's also a lie. I would lie if I said I was content all the time. I would lie if I said I was happy all the time or never experienced any sadness. I would be lying if I said the kidnapping didn't upset a number of my plans. But it can't be helped. This body knows no pain so if my mind knows no anguish, I am, in a sense, invincible. All things are transient. Remove your attachment to the current state of things and accept the inevitability of suffering. Change what you can and worry not of those you can't. That's the path."

"… That's… a lot easier said than done."

"It has been done before."

"… I was wrong. I was wrong. You are not like me. I… always wanted something to love in this world. Something to care about, you know? But there is nothing here for me. With a bunch of numbers, I can sum up every soul and overpower them. I want to go home."

"Can you?"

"… No. No, I don't think so."

"Then abandon that desire. It will do you no good."

"Easier said than done."

"I know."

"…"

"…"

"… Go. Go. Just go. Go back to Konoha, go anywhere. You can't stay here. I will kill you by accident during an episode and no one will stop me. No one will stop me."

She nodded and walked past him. "I wish you the best of luck."

* * *

 _Author's note: I have a few ideas, none particularly appealing to me. Where should the story go from here?_


	13. Chapter 13

"If you have a slave seal, a mind reader and someone's family, you can do whatever you want with them. I've said this over and over and over again, haven't I?"

Hitoshi eyed Leo warily. Nothing good came out of these moods of his. "Yes."

"Hmm… I was wrong. No, maybe not but I'm really reliant on those things." Leo sighed. "I am a greedy man. I want everything and I want nothing. No matter how much I eat, I am still missing something. What is it, I wonder?"

A heart? A conscious? A shred of humanity? Hitoshi didn't speak his mind. He'd long learned that arguing ethics with Leo was like trying to train a cat to fly. He'd have a much easier time just killing it. Leo didn't just ignore ethics. He fundamentally didn't seem to be able to internalise them at all.

"I don't know," was his reply.

* * *

She was greeted with the tears of her mother, the joy of her father and the interrogation of the world.

"I don't think you should continue," Osaaki said firmly. "It was your business that caught his attention. I know you really want to help, but you've done more than enough for the world. More than anyone could've asked or expected. The Nara heir is handling your work just fine."

"But-"

"No. Your safety comes first. I know you came from… humble backgrounds but you are a daughter of the Ikeda Clan now. Their problems are not yours."

"That's right!" Atsuko agreed. "What's most important is that you're safe and happy here."

Yoshiko looked down at the floor, despondent. "Then… what am I supposed to do every day? If I can't work… what am I supposed to do?"

"Take a break. Make some friends," Osaaki suggested. "Have you had your first blood?"

"No."

Osaaki nodded. "Then it's still early. We don't know exactly how old you are but you're still pretty small. We have a few more years together as a family."

"Can't I stay with you forever?"

Osaaki shook his head. "I would love to but there is no future for a spinster. It's for your own good. Don't worry. I will find you a wealthy and prestigious gentleman who will treat you like a fine princess. You are young, beautiful and talented. You are hardworking and determined but also obedient with a pure heart. Even without the full backing of the main house of our great clan, you should be a desirable match. You should be able to charm your future husband and it is my wish that you will have a marriage full of love and prosperity like your mother and I."

"Why can't I just stay with the clan? I can be helpful."

Osaaki sighed and patted her head. "That's the agony of daughters. Someday, they will grow up and they will leave the family for a new life. You can't keep them forever. At most, you have twenty short years with them. It's part of becoming a woman. If you have any worries, you can always talk to your mother and the other women in the clan. Many of them know what it's like to start life anew as a wife of another clan. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Marriage is a joyous occasion that marks a new chapter in your life. You will have a husband and children and eventually grandchildren who will fill your life with happiness and warmth. As long as you have a good husband and a good clan, everything will be fine and I will make sure your match is good. There is no more need for you to spend late nights worrying about your restaurants and schools. You will no longer have to worry about scary terrorists and criminals. Stay in the compound and accompany your mother only on her shopping trips. You will want for nothing."

"Can I go back to Konoha?"

He scowled. "Konoha is a complete mess. They have proved that they can't protect you. And what's more, _after_ they've failed to protect you, they have the _**audacity**_ to put you through interrogation and demand a mind reading. I know what the check for 'seals' entails. It completely violates the dignity of a young girl. Who do they think they are?"

"I'm sure they're just concerned about safety. I can't blame them. Besides, I'm not any safer here. Konoha, on the other hand, is filled with skilled ninja. I don't think anywhere is fully safe from Leo."

Osaaki let out a distressed breath.

"Don't worry. I had a talk with Leo. I don't think he intends to chase me."

"You can't trust the word of vermin like him."

"He promised me nothing. He sent me away because he was afraid of killing me in one of his drunken episodes. At the very least, he doesn't want me dead and he doesn't want me near him. In that case, I don't think he will come for me. If he's going to come for me, it doesn't make sense to release me."

"You can never know with those monsters."

"Leo… Leo is a simple man with simple needs and simple wants. He crackles when he's happy, wails when he's sad and drinks when he's bored. You'd know it if you met him."

"Does… he visit you a lot?"

"Yes. He's bored most of the time and he seems to like talking to me."

"Is he drunk a lot?"

"It is a rare day when he's sober."

Osaaki and Atsuko exchanged looks before Atsuko knelt down to her level and looked her in the eyes. "Yoshiko, did he do anything to you? Don't worry. We wouldn't tell anyone. You can tell us anything."

She shook her head. "He didn't do anything. His main vice is alcohol. He wasn't interested in me. He mentioned that he only liked women who can take a punch in the face and who wanted to stab him. That's why he sent me away. He didn't want to punch me accidentally."

Osaaki and Atsuko looked incredibly disturbed.

"He's a horrid monster," Osaaki declared. "But you're safe now. You don't have to worry about him."

She nodded. "I'm not worried at all. I think you're more worried than me."

"… It is my duty to protect this family. You should leave all the worrying to me."

Atsuko got up and grasped Osaaki's hand. "Don't be like that, my dear. The family will always worry about each other. I'll worry about Yoshiko's safety and I'll worry about your health and happiness. Always."

Osaaki smiled. "Thank you. But you shouldn't have to worry about anything. Just focus on being happy."

"You also shouldn't have to worry. You do things on your own too much. I will always be there for you."

They stared into each other's eyes for a while, smiling, until she cleared her throat and interrupted them. "If I can't stay in Konoha, can I at least visit? I want to see Shikamaru."

Osaaki raised an eyebrow. "Shikamaru? The Nara heir?"

"Yes. I'm sure he'll want to see me. I want to make sure he's not working too hard and that he's not too depressed. He thinks too much."

"You shouldn't be too close to him. He may get the wrong idea."

"I'm sure he won't."

Atsuko smiled sadly. "No, my dear. It's fine now that he's a boy but the boy will be a man soon and things will be different. A man and a woman shouldn't be together so often if they aren't betrothed or married. I know you trust him and he seems like a fine young man but even then, people will talk. A woman must hold her honour and virtue in the highest regard."

"I can't marry him? He's the heir."

Osaaki and Atsuko exchanged looks again before Atsuko turned back to her. "Heir to a ninja clan, my dear. Life as the wife of a ninja is very difficult. He will away more often than not. He may be killed one day and you will be left a widow with nothing to your name. Your children will be sent off to fight at a tender age and chances are, you will see one of them pass before you. You are a fine lady. There is no need for you to go through that hardship."

"But-"

"Listen to your mother," Osaaki cut off. "I don't mind you being friends but I don't want to see my grandchildren die in battle at the age of seven. As I said, I will find you a nice, proper man to marry. You shall marry no drunk dullard."

"… Will I love him?"

"I'm sure you will," Osaaki said firmly. "I will make sure he is kind to women and in the years of courtship, I am sure love will blossom."

"But can I at least visit? I… didn't get to say goodbye. I can't leave it like this. Surely a visit is fine, right?"

There was a short silence as everyone looked at Osaaki. Finally, he nodded.

"One week. You may stay in Konoha for one week."

She bowed. "Thank you, Father."

* * *

"So… how have you been?"

Yoshiko sat across Shikamaru. The tea chilled on the table as they faced each other, Yoshiko in her yukata and Shikamaru in his pyjamas.

"I have been fine."

"How did you escape?"

"I didn't. He released me."

"How did you get him to release you?"

"I did absolutely nothing."

"…?"

"He lost interest and I'd produced enough food. He had no reason to keep me."

"He could've killed you."

"It was a gamble. But he thought I was a rare thing and liked me well enough. He was also afraid of accidentally killing me. I banked on him liking me enough to release me but not being interested enough to lock me up and keep me in a cage. Luckily, I caught him in one of his rare melancholic moods and he released me."

"… I understand if you don't want to talk about it but… how was your time there?"

"It was… fine. It could be a lot worse. I saw some nasty stuff but that was about it. I was mostly in the lab making recipes and ordering maids about. Other than not having to worry about budgeting, it's not much different."

"You are really alright?"

"I am fine. How about you?"

"I've been fine. Everything is going well. I've been keeping a diary of reports for when you returned so you can catch up quickly."

She smiled briefly, though it vanished quickly and her eyes locked to the ground. "Thank you, Shikamaru."

"I'm a secretary. That much is expected."

"… Not anymore."

"… What? Are you firing me?"

"No. Well, maybe yes. I don't have to read the reports to know things are going well. I've seen some new buildings and I knew you would do well in my place. That's why I entrusted it to you, after all. How… how do you feel about a full-time job?"

"… I… asked my parents for a baby brother. I don't know if they'll deliver… but…"

"Good, good. Then, this is really what you want to do, right?"

"… Yes."

"I'll… be signing over ownership of everything to you. Permanently."

"… _**WHAT?!"**_

"Father has prohibited me from-"

He got up and slammed his hand on the table. "THEN CHANGE HIS MIND! You could do that!"

"If I begged and wept for months, maybe."

"Then do that! You could do it! I know you would do it if it meant you got what you wanted!"

"… That would buy me a few years at best. In the end, there's only so long I can delay the inevitable."

"And what is that?"

"My marriage."

"I'll marry you! I will never take this away from you!"

"They don't want me marrying in a ninja clan."

"Well, you could… do something about that! Change his mind! Create some sort of scandal and lower your value on the marital market! When that happens, I'll be there for you. My father likes you and I'm sure he'd approve of you as the clan matriarch."

"That would defeat the purpose of a little brother, won't it?"

"Then so be it. I'll guarantee your freedom for what, sitting in a few extra clan meetings? I'll be fine."

"You will have to serve as jounin commander or some other important post-"

"So what? That's an honour in itself."

"It would take up your time-"

"I would have you. I won't have to work here all the time if you can handle it. _You_ _ **can't**_ _marry a nobleman_! If there's one thing I learned from the annoying women milling about the compound it's that marriage is the death of a kunoichi! They go from being the terror of men to little house pets. I cannot bear to see you like that! I can't- your obedience should only ever be an act! You can think and make decisions better than whatever rich pampered boy they marry you to."

"… Would that be so bad?"

"… _**What?!"**_ He spat.

"Would it be so bad? To retire and be the wife of some rich man. I would spend my days smiling, entertaining guests and arranging flowers. It's not the life I thought would be for me but… Atsuko seems happy enough. Osaaki has all but sworn upon the graves of his ancestors to find me a man who will be kind. At least to me. Atsuko is barren and Osaaki loves her anyway. With my abilities, I can confirm whether any potential suitors would treat me right. I believe that there is some happiness to be found there. I don't need riches or great achievements. I believe… I can be content there."

He gritted his teeth. "… You… can't. You can't! As a ninja, I will not allow it! You're… it would be such a waste! You're destined for so much more! In this world where the fires of war erupt every ten years, we _need_ people like you. I don't care what your clan says, that is not your place. Someone like you… people should sing praises of your compassion and abilities. And they do! You can go to any orphanage and any school around here and the teachers and orphanage workers are eternally grateful for your work. They don't care what the noblemen think. They don't care what the ninja suspect. _They love you_. Just the other day, I met a teacher who burst into tears because I sent over proper school supplies. You saved them. Not me. I was a good-for-nothing before you showed me my path. You saved them so don't try and foster them off on me now!"

"… I am not that great. I'm sure I've made an impact on their lives but I won't go so far as claiming that I 'saved' them. Shikamaru, don't you want another former kunoichi as a wife? Someone who will train your children, protect your back and raise them with her full attention and love? I can't do that if I'm busy caring about all the children in the world and trying to find them homes."

"I can train the children myself and you _will_ protect my back. The kunai, the blood, the enemy ninja, I can handle that myself. That was never the point of the matriarch. The matriarch keeps things together at home. You will protect me from a thousand migraines by dealing with the council and the people in my place. As for caring for children, I would rather have a wife that cared for all the children of the world rather than just her own. We are raising ninja here. We are raising children who should expect to die in the service of others, be it the family, the clan or the country. We can't have them thinking they're more important than all the other children in the world combined. They will have to understand that their mother is working for the good in the world and strive to meet her shadow. If they can't understand, they aren't fit to be ninja."

"…"

"Is there any reason you really don't want to marry me?"

"… Not really…" She said slowly. She moved her hand over to rub her womb. "It's just… I can't imagine… doing it with you."

Shikamaru's tense posture relaxed a little and his eyes softened from their glare. "Look, we only really need one son. Two is preferable but one is really all we need. Hell, a daughter would be fine too. Ino is an only girl and she will lead their clan. The Nara aren't any pickier. You'll have to do the same thing with another man either way. After the first child we… we don't have to do that anymore."

"What if… I'm barren? What if I can't produce any children?"

"Then the family line continues. If my parents have another son, he will inherit after me. If a daughter, she or her sons will inherit. My father has a brother so if both my father and I die, he will inherit next. Then my cousins. We'll be pestered a lot but it's not the end of the world. We just need to consummate the marriage. That's all."

"…"

"Why?"

"… I suspect I may be unable to have children."

"Did something happen?"

"I haven't bled yet and I suspect I never will. Don't ask why."

"… Do you want children?"

"Not particularly. You?"

"Not particularly."

"…"

"I want to marry you."

"…"

"I'll never find another girl who will fit me quite like you. I want to marry you."

"We are only children."

"I know. It's not like I have a crush on you or anything. It's just… after watching all the horrible, dysfunctional adults around me dance their stupid marriage dance, I know a wife is more than that. More important than punching rocks is the ability to figuratively punch my political enemies in the face. That's what my mother is for. My father married her because he liked her and because she took no nonsense from anyone. I can think of no one more suited to the job than you."

She smiled weakly. "And here I thought physical attraction was the most important thing! But in all seriousness, satisfying your husband's sexual desires and producing children has traditionally been the main role of wives, aside from keeping the house in order. It's all fine now but what about when you come into manhood? Will you really stay celibate on account of me?"

"…"

"…"

"… I… would like to say I would but I don't know yet. I haven't really experienced that sort of thing now and I've seen many men disregard their wives for others. I don't understand what's so important about it. In… in the worst case scenario, the absolute worst… you did mention that you would be… you know, fine with…" He trailed off and looked up at her.

"I would be fine with you taking lovers as long as you are discrete. And if they're with child… I would be fine with taking them as my own. What matters is that they're yours. The Nara seem fine with bastards so whether they are mine is of little relevance. In all honesty, it spares me the headache of bearing one myself."

"I would be disgracing you."

"I don't imagine my family would be pleased. Honour is useful to have but I don't hold much emotional attachment to my honour."

"You don't hold much emotional attachment to anything."

"That's true as well."

"… Sorry, I said that. I shouldn't… I would never hurt you. I don't know much about sex or what a man wants but if I'm going to marry you, I want to do it properly. I know you don't care about your honour but… I care. I care about your honour. I don't want people looking down on you. I want people to see what I see. I want people to love you. Maybe there will be prettier women. Maybe there will be women more willing to entertain my desires. But they will never be as important as you. You… you helped me gather my life together. You showed me what I wanted to do with that rotten brain of mine. I will never forget that. There will be no one else with that claim. There will be no one else."

"… If you're going that far… if you will do your duty as a husband, I shall do my duty as a wife. I will warm your bed when you need me to."

"Yoshiko…"

"It's fine. It's true that I find it a little strange but it's nothing a little time won't fix. It's not as if I have strong feelings or convictions either way. When you grow into manhood, I suspect I'll get over it. I don't want you to have to struggle when the fix is not that hard." She smiled. "I want it to be a proper marriage too. I will… I will eventually learn to love you and honour you as a wife should."

"You'll… marry me?"

"To be honest, I didn't try that hard to convince them. I will find a way. I will find a way and I will see us married. I will handle my parents and you will handle yours."

"Then, it's a promise."

She nodded. "It's a promise."

* * *

"You're up early again," Shikaku commented. "What is it?"

"… What sort of girl do you want me to marry?"

Shikaku sighed and put down his chopsticks. "Is this about Yoshiko?"

"Yes."

"She's… fine. I personally don't trust her. But I can't deny the impact she has had on you. If nothing else, she will be a competent matriarch. We will see. You are still young. There are many other girls out there. Many other kunoichi. Many other better matches. You should keep your options open."

"I have time. But Yoshiko… Yoshiko only has two or three more years at best. Things are different for her."

"… We will see. In two years' time, if both of you are still not promised with no better prospects, we will see about arranging a courtship. If the courting goes well, only then will we talk about auspicious dates and marriage locations. But with her current reputation and lack of ninja background, you will be making your marital life and clan affairs more complicated than it has to be."

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm sure she'll handle it just fine."

"She is talented," Shikaku said slowly. "But political talent is not the most important quality in a wife. A wife is the woman you come home for. A wife is the woman who will lift your spirits when they're down. A wife is the woman who will deflate your ego when it rises too high. She will be the bearer of your children and the teacher of your heirs. She will steer the house tightly so it may be in order when you return. She will share in your joys and shoulder your sorrows. And when you pass from the realm, she must be strong enough to maintain the house alone and bare the title of 'widow'. Can she do that?"

"It sounds to me as if she's already fulfilled half of those requirements. The other half can't be fulfilled until we actually get married. I have no doubts. She is much more like us than like them. For her children, for any child, she will kneel, speak or fight with not a hint of shame. Whatever needs to be done. She said it herself. To save a hundred children, she would strangle a child herself. I have no doubt she would with no remorse or regrets. She will do what needs to be done and you will not hear a word of complaint from her. I have no interest in the companionship of any other girl. Ino on her best days cannot compare to her shadow."

"Those of your age are still little girls who have never killed a man and never struggled to feed themselves. I understand your frustration. I was the same way. But that innocence is what we strive to protect. They should never kill a man or worry about how the rice will last through winter. That's something for the adults to worry about. For the ninja. Ikeda Yoshiko looks so mature in comparison mainly because of her background. I wouldn't be surprised if she had to pickpocket or beg for food. From what I've gathered, she has always shouldered the responsibility of being the big sister. Of protecting everyone. She is more aware of the horrors out there, even more so after her captivity, I suspect. It may be hard to believe but eventually, those little girls and boys will grow into hardened ninja. They will learn what it means to spill blood and they will learn what it means to carry the lives of their blood brothers on their shoulders. Those experiences mature a boy and a girl very quickly and amongst them, you may find yourself a suitable bride. Someone with the intellect, capabilities and mindset of her who will also have the physical skill to protect your children."

"… Can those girls grow up faster than Yoshiko can get married off?"

"That cutthroat way of thinking may seem rare now but it will get more common as you grow older and eventually, you may tire of it. And if you do, you shall return home to your wife for comfort and you shouldn't find none. You may want a woman who will cherish you and who you will defend. Not someone who struggles to show any emotion of her face. That girl is good to have as a friend but as a wife? I have my doubts."

"I want a wife who can watch my back. Not a liability I have to protect. Yoshiko may look like she's emotionless but she's far from it. She will smile. She will get angry. She will talk to me about her struggles and help me with mine. What more could I want?"

"Do you love her romantically? Or is this just a way to lock her down so no one else can?"

"I don't love anyone that way. I will not lose Yoshiko to a man who doesn't appreciate her talents and merely likes her pretty face, pretty words and bowed head."

"Those feelings of yours may change."

"And if that happens, I shall talk with Yoshiko. From the start, this whole thing was my idea. She brought up all the points you've mentioned. About how a kunoichi may be better. How someone less focused on their work may be a better mother. If my feelings change, I will discuss with her and she will likely accept it with no hard feelings. She herself said she could find contentment in the life of a wife. She even said that if I didn't love her as a woman, I could take another. That if she could not bear my children, she would take any bastards I sire as her own. 'In all honesty, it spares me the headache of bearing one myself,' is what she said."

At this, Shikaku snorted in amusement. "I take it back. That's a rare girl you have there. I can't think of a kunoichi who wouldn't be upset at their husband's dalliances. Much less if those indiscretions result in children. I'm fairly certain your mother would 'unman' me if she found proof I was having an affair." He winced. "On second thought, most of the exceptional kunoichi are like that."

"Exactly. Most of the powerful ones are screwed in the head. Somehow, the jounin kunoichi are three times crazier than the men."

"I wouldn't say three times but they do tend to be a lot more aggressive. They probably had to fight a lot to get to their position so only the crazy and loud ones make it."

"Not my type."

"You're too young to have a type."

"I prefer chocolate ice cream to vanilla. I can figure out that I like something more than another once I've encountered it a few times. I definitely prefer quiet to loud and structured to spontaneous. It's not hard."

"… You're sure you want her?"

"Yes."

"… She's really fine with you having… indiscretions?"

"You can ask her yourself if you doubt it."

"She may change her mind as she ages."

"Doubtful. In the worst case scenario, she can just tell me she doesn't feel comfortable with it anymore and I will stop. But I doubt she would ever do that. She would have to do a complete 360 to turn from her current self into a woman concerned about her honour and reputation. Or someone who blames me for doing something she has explicitly allowed. Even so, I don't plan on going around behind her back. If I'm going to do this, I will do it properly."

Shikaku sighed. "Two years. If she looks like she'll be promised beforehand, we will revisit the matter. If she still looks promising and if you both feel the same way, we will try and arrange a courtship then. The courtship will last for three years at least or until your 16th birthday where you may marry her. I promise nothing more."

"That should be enough. I'm sure she can figure it out in two years."

* * *

 _Author's note: Thanks for the suggestions. A couple sparked some ideas. By now, my mind has spun them out of control so I don't suppose you'd even recognise them but thanks for the inspiration._


End file.
